● SPHERE SEPTEMBER EVALUATION: WEAKEST SKILL !
HER — BLOCK B ( DANCE ONLY )
perhaps picking a new song three and a half days before the performance isn’t the best idea, but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. it doesn’t feel right using something chosen for him to learn at the bootcamp, not after he’d decided to make the shift in his attitude. his unnecessary distaste towards being asked to dance stops here— or at the very least, begins to. he’s well aware these things don’t happen overnight, but nothing will ever change unless he makes the effort to grow, and he’ll never get anywhere unless he learns to relax.
it’s no secret that he’s been uptight in the past when evaluations not suited to his specific style pop up. when they recorded the samsung ads back in march, he spent an entire month from mid february to the end of his shooting session complaining about it ( and then continuing to when it didn’t air in the first couple months after all the teams had finished ). when june rolled around, he was grateful to do something different from his usual ‘pick up a guitar and sing’ act, but that just meant that he complained about those evaluations that he’d enjoyed in the past. it became increasingly obvious the more he thought about it that the problem was never that the evaluations highlighted his weaknesses, or portrayed him ( rightfully so, he thinks ) as a one trick pony, but instead that he lacked the ability to comprehend that each and every evaluation was meant to help him grow, to help broaden his horizons. he hasn’t shown any progress in dancing over the last few months — despite july’s evaluation especially — because he’s never allowed himself to grow. he can’t step forward if he glues his shoes to the ground.
he’s lucky to be here, and maybe instead of desperately trying to prove his worth every month, he should accept that he wouldn’t be here without reason and enjoy it.
he seeks out a dance coach the third day of the bootcamp after his mid-practice realisation, asks if he thinks it’s possible for someone of his skill ( or lack thereof, but isn’t adding that part of the problem? he bites his tongue ) to learn an entire song’s choreography in three and a half days. he appreciates the honesty when he receives a sharp ‘no’ in reply, but his own expression must say otherwise, because he adds ‘not without help’ and seungcheol manages to rope him into a collective few extra hours one-to-one over the three days to really nail the most difficult parts.
to start, he focuses on the first third of the song, up until the end of the chorus that transitions into zico’s rap. the minimum he’s required to perform is a minute, but it feels like he isn’t taking his desire to change seriously if he doesn’t at least attempt the full three. besides, the chorus ( and pre-chorus, which for the sake of simplicity, he bulks together in his mind ) makes up such a large portion of the song that after getting his body to remember that with rest of the required amount, he figures it’s just a case of filling in the gaps — the rap, bridge and outro.
when performance day rolls around, he’s as ready as he needs to be to feel comfortable. nerves still rack his body as he waits for his turn, but he reminds himself not to utter or even think the dangerous words he’s instinctively plagued by. instead, he chants ‘I can do this’ and the reminder to ‘enjoy it’ over and over in his head ( and very, very quietly out loud at times, to the confusion of passers by ) until it’s all he can think about — until he’s being called in and finding his place in the centre of the room.
once the music starts, he heaves a sigh of relief, letting his lips curl up at the corners as he mouths along to every line.
there’s truthfully nothing graceful about his movements. he’s heavy footed and a little stiff still, despite best efforts to practice it out of him, but he hopes that’s to be expected from someone with his starting ability and the timescale he’d cornered himself into. if he wanted to impress with the dance itself, he’d have chosen one he’d learnt directly from those in front of him, but as he keeps telling himself, that’s not the point. the point is to have fun and regardless of the jump he just forgot at the end of the pre-chorus, he is actually having fun.
he’d chosen the song for a couple reasons which, in his opinion, show their significance during his performance. the first is the sense of comfort he feels with it being a dance that matches its simplicity with it’s energy. save for a few trickier parts ( namely the backing dancers in zico’s rap, which he, with a small laugh, skips over, following zico’s movements and even rapping a little out loud as he does so ), it’s not a complex dance— at least not to the level of kt’s lc9, anyway. yet, at the same time, it’s not a plain dance either. it’s not one that lacks effort or dedication, or fails to stand out on stage. that healthy balance, he supposes, is perfect for him right now.
the second is the poorly thought out reason that he simply just likes the song a lot. it shouldn’t mean that much to the decision, because he also likes gfriend and you aren’t going to find him learning rough any time soon ( or perhaps you will with this new change of heart? ) but it’s one he thinks is at least important this time. he can’t have fun and it won’t show that he’s having fun if he doesn’t even like the song he’s performing, right? not at this stage, anyway. while he has the ability to, he should choose the beats that he enjoys the most. he won’t have that luxury another month, or after debut, and the whole point of this is to grow out of grumbling about everything and enjoy the opportunities that are presented to him, so he should start straight away with making the best of every situation.
( that being said, it’s a steady process. he’s learning to try new things, but you shouldn’t dive in at the deep end without armbands if you can’t swim. he has to learn the basics before he can push himself further. he has a way to go yet before he can break out s.coups-tas tu on variety shows. )
had it not been for either of these comforts, he probably wouldn’t have been smiling still at the end of the bridge after his clumsy footwork for the verse and awkward body rolls in the two previous choruses. he knows that the choreography for the last chorus is a little different to the ones before it, but it feels easier to him to just repeat the moves he already knows from the previous. transitioning into the outro he feels a sense of relief wash over his body. the final wiggle is a move he’s perfected over the years through many instances of embarrassing dad dancing ( albeit block b do it with a lot more style, but maybe this is him leaving his own mark on the dance that isn’t stiffness ) and with the fading out of the track, he bows politely, thanks the staff for their time and leaves feeling on top of the world.
it’s a miracle. choi seungcheol can dance. ( eh, that’s still a stretch, but it feels a little less far away than before, a little more realistic, and whilst he never expects to be a dancer by any means, to know that he’s on the way to feeling comfortable doing more than wiggling his hips to the beat feels invigorating. maybe he is idol material after all. )