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it’s artfight time again yayayay https://artfight.net/~k1tty5

even feeling like death cannot stop me from being insane about vampires smp. i need to have many small rocks thrown at me

#sphynx rambles #let me outttttt let me outttttttttt i want to be DRAWING VSMP not sitting in bed DYING

i’m not exactly sure how to word this but sometimes i think about how little i talk here and consequently how little people know about me. like. i post almost exclusively art aside from reblogs. i have a lot of thoughts about characters and relationships between characters and various other fandom things that i just never get to talk about because i just don’t… do that? it’s quite strange to me thinking that almost my entire identity on here is mostly of a fanartist and not a person. like i just don’t talk on here very much aside from rambling in the tags of my art but that’s usually… about? the art? and it’s not necessarily a bad thing but i do think quite often about posting something more akin to character analysis (though i don’t really think i’m capable enough at putting my feelings into words for any of what i say to be worthy of being called analysis. it would really just be Thoughts.) on here and go no that would be weird and out of character for me

#sphynx rambles #anyways heyyyy #this is entirely random i just thought i’d say it because i remembered i can just like. say things. on here #i see so much cool analysis on characters and things as well as just more general talking about fandom related things both good and bad #sometimes i’ll be like hey this is a good post . maybe i’ll add my thoughts in the tags #and then i just Won’t #i guess more recently i’ve been talking more but again it’s all mostly art things #and to be fair it’s probably true for a lot of people even if they talk quite a lot on their blog that people Don’t Know much about them #i think moreso i’m trying to say it’s strange to be so insane about a media/the characters in it and not have Anyone know #or at least know why?#i don’t know. i just find it interesting to be a person who posts art on the internet i suppose

person who has that constant skin-crawling desperate need to write something but has the disease called i have literally no imagination and am basically entirely incapable of thinking of a plot. hey does anyone want to lend me a story to write

#sphynx rambles #the last thing i managed to “finish” was started in january. i posted it in september. as a wip.#i havent written for months because i have no ideas beyond very vague vibes !!!! which is not enough !!!! let me out of my cage!!!!!!!!!#grrahhh!!!!!

god i hate being absolutely terrible at coming up with ideas. what do you mean you’re an artist with no creativity. what the hell. thats supposedly like, the whole point.

#it sucksss it SUUCKSSSS. GAH #makes art so incredibly frustrating for me recently… i simply don’t know what i’m drawing until i’ve already drawn it.#makes it take so much longer than it would did i know what i was doing #anyway happy new year i just woke up like an hour ago #sphynx rambles

i’m so fucking scared i’m so fucking scared dude i’m never going to recover from this ep am i. i’m so fucking scared someone hold my hand i’m going to cry

#sphynx rambles #this is about vampires smp if it isn’t clear #the way they’ve all been talking about ep8… especially in that peak stream… the titles and the thumbnails…#i don’t think i’m making it out of this alive folks i’m going to drop dead on the floor out of fear soon

watching legs’ pov and at the end straight up crying laughing because that ending is so terribly perfect for me, tragedy lover forever and ever, so so beautifully well done and bittersweet in all the right ways but also the way his eyes closed looked so fucking stupid i couldn’t help but laugh through my tears

#sphynx rambles #vampires smp spoilers #i say this with such high praise. I have cried from watching any sort of media only *once* before in my life.#vampires smp you will forever have my heart. i will never forget about you. you have created something truly special #anyway hi i never post this much rambling on tumblr lmao.#you can tell the obsession is bad when i come out of my dark hole to speak nonsense into the dark night (midday full bright outside)#one last note also: fuck scott goldsmith <3 i hate that guy

having an idea for something you want to draw but you’re not sure how to draw it so instead you try to write it but then you remember writing makes you want to bash your head in

#sphynx rambles #have so many things i want to do. can do none of them #mostly smalletho because they haunt me forever

#sphynx rambles

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