A little drabble I wrote for a universe in which the RDA fucked with Spider’s head just a little more than canon
“We haven’t really—” Lo’ak waves his hand in the air. It looks almost desperately careless. “Talked about it, yet.”
“I know,” Spider says. It’s hard to speak. His tongue, a little unfamiliar in the dry cavern of his mouth, works hard to move. “Sorry.”
“I don’t want you to apologize, bro,” Lo’ak says. His eyes are tired. They’ve been tired, ever since—
Neteyam's face, slack with loss and grief and the end of what it means to be whole burns through Spider’s veins. He’s hungry for something cold, anything, to soothe the ache of Neteyam’s death. His mask sucks in air that Spider can barely feel.
“I just…before, we sort of left things up in the air,” Lo’ak says haltingly. His tail shifts sand near Spider’s ankle.
Ah yes. Before. What a dreadful word.
Before. Before Lo’ak’s ears dropped in Jake’s presence. Before Neytiri had lost that little warmth in her eyes, the warmth that Spider had worked so fucking hard for. Before Spider lost some little things, simple words or memories here or there. Before his head ached with every conversation. Before he and Lo’ak held one stifled conversation in the presence of Neteyam’s body, and it was the most they could manage before Spider ran away.
Spider’s hand reaches for Lo’ak’s, digging heatless fingertips into the warm, unsteady beat of Lo’ak’s pulse. The reassurance that he’s alive does so much, and so little.
Neteyam is still dead.
Neytiri is still afraid, has still lost something so large that Spider cannot see a future where she recovers.
“I know,” is all Spider can say, and Lo’ak nods. It’s not enough, it might never be anymore, not like it could’ve been, back in before. “I don’t know what…”
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to breathe. I don’t know how to do anything. Part of it is missing, and the other part hurts too much.
“I don’t know either,” Lo’ak says. He’s trembling, where their hands meet in the sand. There are bruises along the veins in his arms; they’re deep and dark and pool with blood that Spider wants to believe he could pack away back to where it belongs.
Spider wishes they could not know together. That they could flounder in the humanity that’s been nipping at their heels like an unruly dog, stay confused but together, but—
He’s lost something. Little pieces here and there, memories and words.
He’s lost— He’s lost that little spark, the one that Lo’ak is trying to find behind the glass shielding his face. The one that used to live in the space between their hands, and in the echoes of their laughter.
When he stands, the sand steals from him. Lo’ak remains, seated on the edge of the beach for as long as Spider can see, shivering in the breeze. He’s losing his warmth too.
Blanket for the fluff snippet thing for moceit possibly?
HeheheHEHEHE
We once again return to the "night meeting after PoF" scenario that Spicy believes in religiously
Bonus: worked an actual blanket into the fill
—
Patton's breath billowed out in great, rolling waves like smoke from a dragon's maw. He supposed it made sense, after all the destruction he'd wrought. Everything lay in shambles all around him and he had no one to blame but himself.
The effects of his room rendered his thoughts syrupy, saccharine, pointed firmly backwards. The memories of better days rang hollow in his heart and only deepened the ache. He would find no comfort in memories tonight.
Slipping on his cardigan, he ventured into the hall with his socks on. The cold was obviously Roman's doing, as was the sickly, desaturated tint of the subconscious' walls and carpet. Roman's door had turned full gray, covered in chains and padlocks with no keyhole.
Patton didn't even have time to tear up before movement from the other end of the hall caught his eye. He turned his head and found Janus shivering not six feet away from him, face as open and honest as a child's. It vanished in an instant, gates slamming down. He'd already had his arms pulled tight across his chest, body rigid, but he relaxed a little now and leaned against the wall. "Nice weather we're h-having," he said. "I-isn..." He shivered, words catching behind his teeth. "Nnh... Isn't it?"
"Oh, Janus." In the frigid air, Patton's heart still found a way to melt. "Are you cold?"
"Of course not; it's positively balmy in here." Janus glared at him. "What are you doing, sleepwalking?"
"No," Patton said,"just..."
Janus' expression softened just a little. "Trying not to lose your mind?"
"Yeah."
They fell silent for a moment until Janus shuddered, his eyes slipping shut for a moment. He tugged his capelet tighter over his shoulders, shrinking into himself.
"Come with me," Patton blurted, suprising himself.
"Trust you?" Janus said drily. Patton only looked at him, studying the sadness in his human eye, the red rim and glassy sheen. "Oh, very well. But if you try anything, Remus has more than just a morningstar."
"It's not a trick, Janus," Patton said, leading him down the hall. "I would never trick you."
Janus fell into step beside him. "You couldn't," he muttered, rubbing his arms.
"Because you're—"
"A mad genius, yes."
"Deceit."
Janus looked at him sideways from under the brim of his hat. "Whichever you like," he said, and sniffed.
"You're funny," Patton said contemplatively, nearly tripping over the coffee table when the living room loomed, abruptly ending the vast hallway they'd been traversing. "Whoops!"
Janus squinted at him, watching him regain his balance. "So are you."
"Touché, I guess," Patton said, motioning for Janus to sit down on the couch. "Let's see..." He got down on his knees in front of the coffee table, pawing through the wicker baskets resting beneath it. "We should have one for everybody... there!" He emerged holding two throw blankets: one yellow, one true blue. "Get cozy, okay?" He set them in Janus' lap.
Janus' brow furrow, irises darting as he searched the room. "What are you doing?"
"...Making sure you're warm?" Patton tilted his head like a confused dog. "I'm sorry, should I not have? You just looked so cold, and I thought..."
"No, it's—" Janus looked at the yellow blanket, turning it over in his gloved hands. On the far corner, Patton had imagined a snake, hand stitched, with two heads. Janus' logo rendered with all the love and care in Thomas' heart. He took a deep breath. "You are not what I thought you were, Patton."
"Is that good or bad?" Patton asked hesitantly. When Janus failed to answer, he bounced on his toes. "Anyway, I was gonna make some hot chocolate. How's that sound?"
Janus finally looked up at him again, finally relaxed and let himself smile. "Absolutely terrible."
And Patton, after a moment's hesitation, smiled back.
Trigger warning: Unsympathetic Patton
A/N: Hi! I don’t write much for the fanders but i had this idea and wanted to write something for my best bro @nachosforfree
The room was dark as Virgil stepped inside. The only source of light coming from the moonlight outside the window by his bed. He turned the cold doorknob behind him, slowly closing the door shut. He gave a small sigh of relief, glad he had been able to make it back to his room without any of the other sides noticing he was gone. Or so he had thought.
What Virgil hadn't noticed was the odd silhouetted shape near the corner of the bed. At least until it had started moving. There was no way it was just a shadow. He stared, frozen as the dark shape grew taller, moving into the light. He immediately recognized the sky blue color of the shirt and felt his stomach turn, and his heartrate increasing more than it already had. He should feel relieved, but it scared him.
"Virgil! Welcome back, Kiddo!" Patton's unsettling peppy voice made him want to shrink back, but he stayed put where he was. But it didn't help when the cheery attitude was followed with a giggle. "Where'd you go? I was worried about you!"
Virgil couldn't see his face, but he knew Patton was smiling bright as always.
"Oh- I was uh.. I was out looking for uhm--"
"You weren't out looking for Remus or... Deceit were you?" Patton interrupted him, curiosity ringing through him.
"No! No, of course not. I wouldn't be looking for them, why would I be?" Virgil could feel his legs grow staticky. He took a step back, closer to the door.
"Now Virgil, you know I don't like lying." The friendliness in his voice started to be taken over by a harsher tone. "Deceit and Remus aren't safe to be around. They're dangerous for you, and for Thomas. You want what's best for Thomas, don't you?"
The sharp emphasis on the dark sides' names made Virgil queasy. He hadn't even noticed how close Patton had gotten to him. He could see his facial expression at this point. It wasn't a smile this time, but a sympathetic gaze at Virgil. Though somehow it seemed plastic, fake.
"Yeah... I know."
Patton continued to stare at Virgil, making the tense silence in the room grow louder with each passing second until he perked up, growing the smile back on his face. Yet, Virgil could see a hint of anger in his eyes.
"Of course you know! You're one of us, kiddo!" Patton didn't have to take anymore than a few steps to be next to Virgil, messing with his hair before opening the door, filling the room with the fake bright orange lights coming from the hallway.
"Now you get some rest, alrighty?" He gave a laugh as the door closed behind him, leaving Virgil with just the small moonlight again.
He sighed, Jumping straight onto the bed and planting his face in the pillows and throwing his hands on the sheets over and over again. It was only then that he felt the tears fall, seeping straight into the pillow sheets. He didn’t care though.
After some time of hopeless quiet screaming, Virgil finally turned over, looking up at the ceiling of his room, looking at the stars that Deceit had put up there when Patton was busy. It made him feel homesick, but It calmed him down.
Being with the light sides was supposed to make him feel better, feel like family. But if anything, everything felt torn apart. He thought he could put his trust in Patton, tell him everything, but now he was too scared to even try having a normal conversation with him.
Patton hated the dark sides. Does that mean he hated Virgil, too?
A quick bullshit little drabble cause I’m trying to convince myself to write.
When Spider was on the cusp of six years old, he made up a friend. When Norm asked him about it, he swore up and down that it wasn’t because the Omaticaya didn’t like him, or because he didn’t have any friends amongst the Na’vi, it was just because he was bored, sometimes. The base gets really lonely, without any of his big blue friends.
The truth of the matter is that Spider wasn’t really, clicking, with anyone. Jake’s kids, the nice human-y ones, where really young. They weren’t as mature as Spider because Spider is six, and Jake’s kids are four and three years old, and they just aren’t as interesting, after a while.
So Spider makes up a friend, who’s everything he’s not. He’s big and blue, and his hair doesn’t painfully tug at the crown of his head. He’s got long limbs, perfect for climbing and wrestling with Neteyam; but they’re gentle enough to play with Spider, too.
He talks with his imaginary friend all the time, like ALL the time. Norm asks him why he’s sitting on the cold floor in the middle of the lab when everyone’s in their capsules a week into Spider’s new friendship, because Spider is visibly shivering through his big, stolen tshirt, but his friend is sitting on top of one of the closed lids and pulls a face behind Norm— it makes it seem much less serious than it is.
And when Neytiri hisses at him to get out demon, out of my home, my forest Spider toddles right back to his friend, and asks him why no one really likes him. Even Jake, who rubs his hair and says he’s a ‘good kid’ doesn’t do anything more than that.
Spider’s friend can’t hug him the way Jake hugs his kids. It’s part of the reason why he stops talking to his friend. The other reason is because Neytiri had loudly asked why the demon child is talking into thin air, if he thinks that it will bring anymore attention to him than he deserves.
Norm finds Spider once, sitting by the edge of his bed, staring at the floor with tears in his eyes. When Norm asks what’s wrong, Spider can only say his friend is dead, because Neytiri and Jake and Norm had killed him.
Norm is worried, tries to talk to the scientists about what happened, who said something to Spider but it stops mattering after a couple of days, because Spider goes right back to sitting on the cold floor of the link lab; except this time, he doesn’t really talk to anyone. He just sits and waits for the scientists to come out, so at least then, he’ll have someone to be around.
Spider lives with his dad, a retired military man who’s a little too strict to be comfortable around, but he’s ultimately a Fine parent. Not winning any awards, but he’s ok.
Spider is riddled with ADHD though (unmedicated because military dads don’t believe in medication) so he has a habit of sneaking out of his house and biking/skating down to the 24/7 corner store at like 3-4 am because he’s Bored and Lonely
Enter Lo’ak, who starts up the same habit after the Sullies move to Spider’s town and then they meet at the corner store and hangout and dick around at 3 am almost every week and fall in love and it’s all just good vibes and shenanigans
OR
Bonus points if the sullies are only passing through the town and Lo’ak sneaks out to get snacks and it’s that night that they meet and they just click so they go out to the pier in their town or something and bond for a night and it’s lovely and awesome and then they don’t see each other again until years later
Fun idea: people assume since spider is the oldest sully child, that he's also Jake and Neytiri's birth child too. Since Na'vi have heard that Jake use to be a sky person, people assume Spider is the equivalent of when a skyperson and a Na'vi person have a baby. Spider takes more of his father's Skyperson side. The sully kids love this idea and completely go with it.
The Omaticaya would never fall for that, but I’d imagine maybe there are clan meetings or trips or whatever where the Sully Kids fuck SO HARD with people
They convince everyone that Kiri and Lo’ak are fully Na’vi children to fully Na’vi parents that happened to have a genetic mutation, and Jake and Neytiri just adopted them. They say Neteyam and Spider are actually the closet in age and genetics and pose them next to each other like “look! Both are na’vi! Check yourselves”
In some alternate universe where the very image of humans isn’t some horrible traumatic reminder, the roll up to random clans with Kiri and Neteyam and Tuk fully dressed in human clothes, and Spider’s in the loincloth and blue stripes, and don’t blink at the various extremely confused looks they get
Clan leaders coming up to Jake n Neytiri pointing at Spider like “that came out of you?” And spider’s in the corner sitting with his legs crossed with Tuk, half his age and a couple inches taller, like yes. Yes he is
I’m obsessed with your na’vi!Spider au so much I can’t stop thinking bout it for weeks like I’m so ✨obsessed ✨
You have any hc for your na’vi!Spider?? TSTiMA is a Great story by the way! Na’vi!spider is my air rn literally lol💅💅✨
You bet your ASS I do. Glad you’re enjoying anon!!
Little TidBits about restless child I may or may not be able to fit into the actual fic
- when Spider finally meets Norm he absolute LOVES him. It’s hard to get past the human part and then even HARDER to get past the avatar/link bed part, but Norm in all of his adoptive father grace is exactly what Spider needs to feel good. They spend a lot of time together trying to deconstruct what makes Spider a wee bit different from other avatar/na’vi children, and in that time Spider gets very comfortable and appreciative of everything norm teaches him, but Norm instinctively starts taking Spider underneath his wing
- Spider is not NOT hunter material, but he prefers learning and helping Mo’at with Tsahik things (Lo’ak does not get jealous about this absolutely not) he also begins learning the fundamentals of earth/human science and biology. Eventually, he and Norm become the go-to’s when a human gets sick. When more hybrid children are born, Spider is the one who’s typically overseeing their development
- this is something @be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie helped make up, but years down the line, Spider and Lo’ak visit the clan that Itxo was from to try to thank them for their help and support them in any way, since they’ve got a lot of materials and knowledge about all things human. Queue the most devastating self-worth relapse when Spider learns that Itxo died two days after he left Quaritch. Lo’ak is there to help and I have a lovely little one shot planned where everyone helps keep Spider out of a hole
- Spider is a chronic napper. Like, an atrocious one. Lo’ak will leave him in a marui (he ends up sharing one with one of Norm’s older kids) for three seconds and come back to Spider conked tf out. Bro learns to sleep standing up.
- for absolutely no related reason, Lo’ak becomes significantly better rested. They’re totally not taking naps together or anything
- Lo’ak surprises him with a date ONCE, and Spider takes it as such a personal challenge that at least once a month, he has Kiri help him plan the most elaborate, sickeningly sweet date. Neytiri once helps him weave like a courting accessory and Lo’ak practically faints
- Neytiri and spider become real close. Like, he goes to her for everything. It takes a while and she still sometimes gets wrapped up in PTSD but she’s his closest confidant and the day he feels comfortable to give her a hug they both cry
- he n jake have joke bits. They pretend that Neteyam doesn’t exist for hours at a time. Sometimes it’s Kiri. On one particularly long take they pretend Tuk is like eighty years old instead of eight
Your talk of nocorro vs loccorro got me curious. What do you think of nocorro separately? Also, love your fics and happy your surgery went well, I wish you an eventless recovery!
Don’t crucify me but…I didn’t really connect with Neteyam’s character in ATWOW, so it’s hard for me to really give ‘em any depth like I can give Lo’ak or kiri
That being said, I am a WHORE for stuff like hidden love and friendship. The headcanons I have for them are as follows
- they have a very easy transition between good friends and courting. Spider was Neteyam’s partner in crime before Lo’ak and Kiri came along, and once they where born nocorro started cherishing their limited time that much more
- spider is petrified anyone will find out. Neteyam tries to pretend it doesn’t bother him, but truthfully; he’s just as scared for his parents reactions. Neteyam is very similar to his mom, but there’s a healthy mix of his dad as well. It makes Neytiri’s and Jake’s reactions that much harder to stomach
- I think Neteyam is the only one that spider never developed a complex around. Kiri is Kiri, and Lo’ak is hard to talk to since he’s so caught up in his own inferiority complex. Neteyam is Spider’s cozy spot. They’re able to spend hours fixing and preparing tools or weapons in comfortable silence
- neteyam likes using Spider as a pillow. Spider enjoys being hydrologically pressed into the ground
- the only secrets they’ve ever kept from each other is neteyam never told spider the true depth of Neytiri’s grief and hatred. Spider has never told neteyam just how lonely he is outside of his company
- spider introduces neteyam to human children’s books. Neteyam LOVES them. Spider loves bringing out that carefree happy childlike enjoyment in neteyam
- neteyam got Jake’s thicker build— spider takes naps on his back all the time. Really living up to his name
There you go anon! Thoughts n feeling about the boys and thank you!
