#splinter ic

[chaoticxbeast]

Splinter, I don't feel whole. How can I feel more whole?

To be more whole. A good question. The rat closed his eyes in thought for a moment, and drew a breath in slowly, as if he was summoning the words from the void all around him. There was a beat. "What was the question? Ah. More whole. I see." The rat spent another moment in thought, eyes closed and hands in his lap. "One word comes to mind. Integrity. In latin, integrity means whole. And to us, it means to be true to yourself and your moral code." The rat fell quiet again, and lifted his eyes towards the ceiling, one hand over his beard. "When I was little, white lies were looked upon as a way to be polite. Quite like tatemae. The concept of behaving in a way accepted by others. To hide behind a mask that says and acts on something they believe the listener wants to hear. Even though this can be good to some degree, this is not the path to feeling whole. So. I may be wrong, but perhaps you are breaking one of your moral codes without truly knowing it. So ask yourself, what are the laws of your moral code? And have you been following them?"

[chaoticxbeast]

"Today's lesson is the introduction of the concept of balance. In Japanese, we say... Chowa. Balance. Leonardo might say, that balance is important to remain focused and calm. And he is correct. Emotional calm is the bliss of Chowa. However, there is more to Chowa than just focus and calm. Now. If you look at your hand. For those of you with five fingers, one hand is enough. For those with three fingers, you can use two hands. Imagine your life in your hand. Imagine that your work is your pinky finger. Rest and inner peace can be your thumb. Learning is the index finger. And relationships is another, and joy is another. Now. What if your life lacks learning. What happens to your hand? Well, one finger disappears. And without learning, you lose growth. Without growth, joy and work will start to shrink. Imagine how strange your hand will look and how difficult it will be to manouver our day, when important parts of us are missing. We are all complex beings. We all need many things in our life to feel Chowa. Things like joy, rest, work, friends and growth." The rat fell silent and glanced at his student. To see them study their hands deep in thought made his chest feel warm and whole, and his eyes softened with a faint smile. "So.. How are you keeping balance between the things that are important to you in your life?"

[chaoticxbeast]

"You are gracious to want to help someone grow, but keep in mind, you cant do the work for them. They will only grow once they are willing to truly listen and to face themselves and see that they are both good and bad. Growth is painful. It hurts to look at the darker aspects of yourself, and pinpoint the parts of us we want to change. It hurts to see that we have ways about us that could even hurt someone else. But that is how life is for all of us. Everyone has faults, but that doesn't mean we are not kind. It doesn't mean we cant grow. Growth starts with truth. Honesty. Open communication and compassion. If our loved ones never tells us how they got hurt by us, we cant grow. So, honesty is a gift. But its only a gift if we choose to listen and hold their words with compassion towards the other person and towards ourself."

[chaoticxbeast]

Anonymous said: Splinter, can you talk about family values? Perhaps give a good advice?

"Off curse." The tall rat fell quiet. His eyes downcast, a hand stroking down along his beard. And then, he straightened up, with a look of content on his face. "You might as well have asked Michelangelo about this. He knows very well the most important value of all." He paused, the look on his face grew even lighter, as if a laugh was just about to escape him. "The most important value for a family is togetherness, joy and celebration. Connecting with the sole purpose of having laughter, humor and fun. To celebrate the rites of passage, small achievements and accomplishments with a special occasion. Be it a party with dancing, having cake, a cheesy snack, hot cocoa, or sit in your favorite chair with a snuggly blanket wrapped around you. Life grows dull and meaningless without these moments together. You could even celebrate the fact you are alive! Mikey does all the time! As for me, I like to look within, meditate, and remember the happy moments of my past. For example, old memories of Tang Shen and little miwa, as we went for little walks to a glade not too far from our home. We would watch a little family of foxes together, as well as other forest life. I will never forget the way the light shone through the trees... ...As for the advice. In difficult times, its hard to celebrate. When you feel unlucky, you might be in a constant bad mood. It might feel like your wheels are spinning, as if something is holding you back. In those times, looking back at mistakes and to learn from them would be useful. Because life is full of lessons, and often people make the same mistakes again and again. Sometimes our bad luck is just the consequence of our own choices. However, if you look back and examine your mistakes, you can stop and think. How does my actions affect my life and the lives of other people? Give yourself a good advice and steer yourself into a better, more healthier direction."

[chaoticxbeast]

Splinter, can I have an advice please? Some people are saying some hurtful things behind my back. What can I do to feel okay?

"Oh. I see. Come and sit with me child." The tall rat furrowed his brows, gesturing for you to come sit at the very place his students would sit. On the mat, in the middle of the room. He turned away and walked over to the little shrine located in the back of the room. The one with the daruma dolls, good luck charms, candles, the pictures of his family. When he returned, he kneeled down and placed a candle before you. "See this flame, my child?" He says, his hand curving around it as if to feel its warmth, as if to protect it against any draft. "This is you. And you shine bright no matter what someone says about your flame. They may mock it. They may say it is not what it is. But the truth is, it's real. It may flicker, or be extinguished for a short period of time. But when it does, all it needs is tender care. With a little help and support from a friend and it will burn brightly yet again. "My child, my advice is to see your worth and potential and how you burn bright on your own. We can't control what other people say and do. When we try to do that, we overextend ourselves, we can burn out, and lose sight of what is important. And people might not see the beauty of their own flame. They just see yours. Welcome new friends who will appreciate you for the way your flame burns. Good friends will respect your light. They would nurture it, instead of criticizing it or trying to change it." "My second advice is, to understand that it is what it is. Speak your truth. Communicate boundaries. But even when we do, we can't control what people do or say. Things might not change. In fact, it might get worse if we engage. Sometimes, the best we can do, is to step away. Try to sit with the feeling of disappointment until you are ready to move on. Disappointment and sadness is not a good feeling no? But it's necessary. Sometimes we have to be upset, so that we can become angry, and then feel empowered to make a change to protect our own flame. And then, when we let go of the painful experience, let go with a sense of appreciation of the lesson that helped you grow."

[chaoticxbeast]

Master Splinter, why do some people give you hate for setting boundaries and saying how you feel?

"Perhaps hate is a strong word, young one. It might not be hate, but it could be fear of looking inwards. Sometimes people are unable to see that they are good people, when they make mistakes. Perhaps the guilt feels too overwhelming. So, when you set boundaries with a friend, and they accuse you of something in return, they might call you disruptive, for example. Or accuse you of not letting go. Because the feeling of you saying how their behavior made you feel, and you setting boundaries, will make them feel a disruptive feeling. Guilt. Remorse. Shame. And some even feel like they are a bad person, for causing you such pain. But that is not true. Truth is, everyone makes mistakes. And that does not make people bad. That is simply the way of humans. We make mistakes, we forgive, we grow and let go. To be truly connected with others, we have to say how we feel. To truly allow someone to know who we are, we have to say how they made us feel hurt! And when we hurt someone, it's good to know so! To know, is a gift. Because, that is the only way to grow. If we always avoid to truly understand the people around us and ourselves, we will never walk in the garden that is our inner growth and we will never understand the eden that is our friends."

[chaoticxbeast]

Splinter, what does it mean to be a good team player?

"Ah. Yes. A good team player. There is so much I could say, but I will try to keep it simple." The rat paused for a moment, and took a couple slow steps before straightening up again to look at the questioner. Reliability is the first thing that comes to mind. This is the quality of someone who takes the well being of their team seriously. Perhaps a leader needs reliability the very most, but it's also important for everyone else on the team. No matter their experience. For example. When Casey joined the team. He was not used to having others to rely on. And so, he jumped right into danger without thinking. Acting on whim and impulsivity is immature. And immature people do immature things, but that doesn't mean they can't learn. We need to rely on everyone on the team to grow and learn. That brings me to the next point. Communication. We need to communicate what we feel we need from the team. If someone is making us feel angry, disappointed, or let down, it needs to be communicated. Because if we don't voice what we feel we become strangers to each other. We need communication. That is also how we share knowledge. We provide constructive feedback. And we listen, without interrupting. Without lashing out with we feel vulnerable or upset, but instead say how we feel. Empathy and compassion. We need to empathize with other peoples needs. We need to understand our differences. We need to be curious about how we affect others, even if it means we have to face the fact that we have acted poorly. Adaptability. As a team, we all affect each other. That means, we need to respect the needs of the whole team. For example, even though Leonardo is the leader, that doesn't mean he should never speak on his frustrations or needs. Because if anyone on the team feels unhappy or unseen, the whole team will suffer. No one is less important than anyone else. Everyone has the ability to adapt. And as a team, everyone is important. Conflict resolution. Sometimes we will disagree and argue. And when we slow down and listen and understand a different opinion, we grow and learn. We become closer as a team. As family. In fact, difference of opinion is the most interesting part about another being. It is not a fight. Its growth. Learning. Sometimes we act on our ego, or our insecurities or our anger. It happens to the very best. However, once a fight occurs, we should try to be understanding of both our own behavior and the person we clashed with. Especially as a team. Imagine how the team will suffer, if we keep on feeling distrustful. Or upset. That is why we have to apologize and take ownership in our behavior, by thinking of ways to improve and grow. However. Growth takes time. But, a team that face grave danger, might not have that time...So, looking inwards and taking responsibility for our mistakes is a major part of what we do, especially for my sons. And taking ownership in our growth with give us a reason to trust each other, after a conflict. Because we cannot expect others to easily trust us again, if we refuse to grow..."

[chaoticxbeast]

"Kintsugi. Golden Repair. When you look at this broken cup, what does it remind you of?" The tall rats warm brown eyes curiously scanned the younger one before him. A small smile twitched upon his lips, and he held back the urge to pat the student on the head. "Something broken? Yes. And Donatello would perhaps say, that its structure is weaker than before. And he would be completely correct. The cup will fall apart if we are careless and pour boiling water into it. That's why we should know its limits." The rat turned the cup, to show its fragile handle. "Every kintsugi cup is unique, and must be handled with care. But how do we learn about the gentleness it deserves? We must be curious in a compassionate way. Because it's still a beautiful cup. Perhaps even more beautiful than the cup without scars. Perhaps the scars are like a proof of hardship that deserves respect. As you know...life may give us scars. But we can be strong again, with a bit of kind care. Even though the scars may make us more fragile, the experience defines us, and makes us wiser and more compassionate. Once, I cut my finger on this cup, but now I know where the sharp shard can be found. This is how it can be with people too. The ones with scars, can cut, if we are not gentle in our approach. That's why, it's so important to properly communicate our boundaries. Our needs. And to forgive and acknowledge that we all have scars and insecurities, that deserve respect."