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epic love story of sam and dean | 02x13
“There's so much evil out there in the world, Dean, I feel like I could drown in it. when I think about my destiny, when I think about how I could end up...
don't worry about that, alright? I'm watching out for u”
Spn 02x13 Houses of the Holy
Sam, defeated: "You were right. It wasn't an angel, it was Gregory."
Sam, still defeated, in tears: "I don't know Dean, I just... I wanted to believe... so badly, I... It's so damn hard to do this, what we do. All alone, you know? There's so much evil out in the world, Dean, I feel like I could drown in it. And when I think about my destiny, when I think about how I could end up..."
Dean: "Yeah, well, don't worry about that, all right? I'm watching out for you."
Sam: "Yeah I know you are. But you're just one person, Dean. And I needed to think that there was something else watching too, you know? Some... higher power. Some greater good. And that maybe...
Dean: "Maybe what?"
Sam: "Maybe I could be saved."
There's something important here about Sam but it's currently hazy. Something about how if there's no higher power then there's no hope for Sam to have (divine) help to change his destiny and he doesn't have a choice or chance to fix/get rid of the evil inside corrupting him. He's stuck this way, or something.
I'm on Houses of the Holy and Dean just said there's no such thing as angels.
He has nooooo idea. None.
thinking about Dean and religion, how personal his rejection of faith is
Mom told him that angels were watching over them, but where were the angels when Mom was burning on the ceiling? where was God? either these supposed forces of good don’t exist, or worse yet, they stand idly by while people are suffering
in either case, Dean feels a deep conviction that the world is not a just place. there’s just chaos and random evil. he’s so visibly bitter about it, so hurt by the belief (to him, knowledge) that there’s no justice. there’s no safety. there’s no absolute certainty that what he decides to do in any given moment is right and good. how’s he then supposed to know what to do? how’s he supposed to know when and what it’s okay for him to kill? how’s he supposed to know what to do with Sam if he turns evil? and what is evil anyway if there is no good? if it’s all subjective, he might as well selfishly keep Sam, no matter what he might turn into, but then why does he struggle with it all so much?
if he could only believe in God and angels, in a clear separation of good and evil, everything would be so much easier
(though of course that’s not true, because later with proof of God and angels comes also proof that these beings, too, are fallible and corrupt. their existence just adds a new layer of chaos and mindless violence on top of the old one)
when Sam tells Dean he prays every day, Dean looks like Sam has personally betrayed him—by keeping this crucial info from Dean, yes, but also simply by the act of prayer and faith itself
i think Dean both pities and envies Sam because of his faith
sam & faith
SAM: You know what, Dean? I don't understand! Why can't you even consider the possibility?
DEAN: What, that this is an angel?
SAM: Yes! Maybe we're hunting an angel here, and we should stop! Maybe this is God's will!
DEAN: Okay, all right. You know what? I get it. You've got faith. That's — hey, good for you. I'm sure it makes things easier. (he sits again) I'll tell you who else had faith like that — Mom. She used to tell me when she tucked me in that angels were watching over us. In fact, that was the last thing she ever said to me.
SAM: You never told me that.
DEAN: Well, what's to tell? She was wrong. There was nothing protecting her. There's no higher power, there's no God. I mean, there's just chaos, and violence, and random unpredictable evil that comes out of nowhere, and rips you to shreds. You want me to believe in this stuff? I'm going to need to see some hard proof. You got any?
Transcript brought to you by Super-Wiki [supernaturalwiki.com/2.13_Houses_of_the_Holy_(transcript)]
epic love story of sam and dean | 02x13
I'll tell you who else had faith like that — Mom. She used to tell me when she tucked me in that angels were watching over us. In fact, that was the last thing she ever said to me. She was wrong. There was nothing protecting her.There's no higher power, there's no God. I mean, there's just chaos, and violence, and random unpredictable evil that ... that comes out of nowhere, and rips you to shreds”
