#spn 12x22

[shallowseeker]

You hate your parent who kept all of you in the dark. But you love them, too.

"Your dad kept all of this from you for a reason. You get that, right?"

///

"Yeah, and I hate him for that."

"But I love him. You know?"

///

Oh, Henry-Mary, the catastrophic parallels continue...

"I hate you. And I love you. 'Cause I can't – I can't help it. You're my Mom. And I understand...'cause I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once."

[bridgetoon]

The Winchester Wardrobe: analysis on Mary's dream dress in 12x22

(a lil tangent because this doesn't fit into my overview on Mary)

The dream that Mary's caught up in while brainwashed by the BMoL has her in this pale blue, flower patterned dress, with a silver heart locket and long loose hair.

(totally different lighting, setting, and vibe too. It's less obvious in later seasons, but spn turns up to brightness and saturation for fake realities)

The pattern, the square neckline, the fact it's a dress, the necklace, the glittery eye shadow, the hair make the look supremely feminine and delicate. Especially compared to her more practical looks in the real world. She's physically vulnerable, showing a lot more skin and wearing less layers. She's not wearing sleeves, but her heart is still on display and out in the open, whereas in the real world she has her wedding ring around her neck, which hides it. (supposedly, the reason that rings were worn on the ring finger was because they had a blood vessel that led directly to the heart)

She's playing the role of the domestic house wife and the good mother, the role that she spent her first life running towards. And she's turning away from her real life, which is being represented by Dean. He's not just a reminder that this isn't her life, but that it never has been. Real life Mary is dangerous and gets her hands dirty. She's not really a parent, she couldn't and can't keep her children safe or out of the hunting life. She turns away from Dean who is not only an adult and older than her, but is wearing the clothes of a hunter

This isn't the only time she wears this though.

(It's the same outfit that she's wearing in Dean's memory in 5x16)

Mary's not just fantasizing about an ideal past, she's remembering a specific version of her life, on a specific day. There's something in this particular memory that she's pining after. Now, as a reminder of what happens in this ep for those who haven't seen it in a while:

Mary is feeding Dean, when John calls. Mary and John have been fighting, and Dean says that after he "moved out for a couple of days." After the phone call, Mary is upset, and four year old Dean goes up to her and reassures her that things will be okay and that both he and John love her. Dean also says that he'll never leave her.

She's not pining after John in this memory. I know that for a fact because in 12x22 she's changed the memory

Sam's not in Dean's version of the memory, and John's not coming home.

What Mary's after, the sticking point? It's Dean. Specifically. It's the four year old version of him that sees the world in her, that's not complicated, that is so sure that everything's gonna turn out well. It's the version of him that she knows how to take care of and interact with, and doesn't have to be scared of fucking up with, because he's always going to love her and he's never going to leave.

Of course she's changed that part of the memory too. This version of Mary's got it together. She can manage everything, her two children, her husband's coming home, she can bake. She is a mother, a mom, and she doesn't need to try. This Mary doesn't need to be comforted by her child, her children can be children. This Mary "isn't going to let anything bad happen to [them]." I may be reaching for this, but the part that's different between 5x16 and 12x22 is her hair. Hair has a lot of symbolism, and Mary's got a bunch going on for her that I'll cover in her overview, but in this case in 5x16 it's more pulled up while in 12x22 it's barely pinned back. Having it properly pulled back is practical, something you'd expect more from a mom who is doing things. That Mary is actually dealing with life, while this Mary very much isn't. Also, the longer looser hair is pull-able, like real Mary says. easier to manipulate.

I want to point out the comparison here of the lighting/colours, and how Dean is sitting in the first one and standing in the second. He's taller than her now, and now the flannel isn't just for warmth but it's because he's a hunter

But of course, we know that's not the truth, and breaker of characters and ruin-er of fantasies asks her to fight it even though the dream is easier, to look at him, really look, and see him.

[bridgetoon]

12x22 the fact that Ketch can't handily beat Dean who he just ripped out of a drug induced super sleep and has a broken leg is sooo embarrassing for him. It should Not be that hard for you to subdue that man, I thought you were a professional killer??

It's cuz he's gloating but yknow that's so much worse where is your professionalism??? He has to pull a weapon to win the fight cuz he sucks. Either use it from the beginning or win the real way booooooo

[bridgetoon]

12x22 when in the dream Dean asks Mary to see him and she turns, she's looking down. She's listening to his words but she's still searching for her little boy, and then her eyes track up up above her own eyeline to finally meet Dean's. It's just one of those details that's just really really good. He's growing up in her eyes but of course he's never really been a child and she's realizing that