🎣 A shallow seeker sinks horizontally, exhibiting a natural kicking action to attract a variety of fish.🐟 ME: Chaotic SPN/SPNwin meta writer who’s been sharing my thoughts since 2023. I'm a little contrary (in good fun), and I enjoy in-world meta shenanigans. STUFF:👬 pro-DeanCas (I have eyes) // 🤩 Mary stan //⭐ Jack stan // 🕮 Sam / Donatello / Metatron-coded
I'm Shal. I watched SPN off and on as a teen, but I didn’t join Tumblr or the fandom until late 2022, when I was bedridden due to a heart condition.
That’s when I started reading fics like american oracle by @handsliketruth & @whiskeyjuniper, The Black Dog Ache by @winchester-reload, and Redux by @valleydean... and I was hooked. Ficlets, meta, shitposts, the whole nine. (I'm still obsessed with all of these stories, if you care.)
⭐ Shal's fave re-readable Dean-Cas fics ⭐
(I need to update this so badly, but you folks keep poking me.)
Anyway, I also have my bookmarks but they are forever a mess, and I keep my macaroni trash comfort porn in there, so read at your own risk.
Anyway, I'm happy to say that my heart condition is much more stable now, and I’m no longer bedridden, but I’m still on Tumblr and still having an amazing time!
ao3 @ shallowseeker
blue.sky @ shallowseeker
pillowfort @ shallowseeker
pinterest @ shallowseeker
dreamwidth @ shallowseeker
discord @ shallowseeker
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TAGGING / WARNINGS
I’m not anti-anything, but I have a real soft spot for imperfect characters. If they come across as too polished or boring, I love digging into their flaws and exploring their Achilles' heels. (For example, I’ve paralleled Lisa Braden’s struggle with understanding grief against Jody Mills’s deeper, lived understanding of it.)
Anything I think could be challenging or a bit of a downer, I tag with #complex at the beginning—#complex john, #complex sam, #complex dean, and so on.
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META
The meta-organization will go here... eventually. (I'm working on a #shal spn rewatch.)
Over the past couple of years, I’ve written a lot of opinions, some of which people still request. My meta tends to focus on later SPN seasons, with deep dives into Jack Kline—aiming to add variety to the ecosystem by highlighting the real, complicated Jack over the "fanon (toddler) stereotype."
A few people have called me TFW-positive, and I genuinely love Team Free Will, even when I'm mentally wringing their necks. My core focus is on Sam, Dean, Castiel, Jack, Mary, and Rowena/the MacLeod family.
Side Goals: @spnwin-reader @wheretheloveisstored
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FICS
I post my fics on Ao3 under shallowseeker, and the new Tumblr page for them is here. (I post a lot of rapid-fire ficlets and ideas in my Tumblr posts, too.)
I write to improve my cognitive dysfunction, and I’m fascinated by religion and natural phenomena (avalanches, sinkholes, etc). My writing style has been described as chaotic, random, and weird—"like one long manic episode."
PSA: My meta thoughts = / = my fic. Sometimes fic is just me goofing off, or horny drivel, or melt-in-your-mouth cotton candy. Don't expect that My Thoughts (TM) will align with it. I reserve the right to be lame and incomprehensible. TY~
= O N G O I N G =
For your crimes against the most high (5 of 14) = "Cas isn't real."
= C O M P L E T E D =
Proper adornment (1/1) = Cas gets obsessed with Dean + jewelry
The facts of life (and death) (1/?) = Chuck VS Symbiote
Blackout on the eastern seaboard (2/2) = Victory sex tango
Truth & despair (15/15) = Dean misremembers the confession
Mirror, mirror (1/1) = The empty peeks into the bunker
I will not be diminished (1/1) = Chuck VS Jack
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OTHER STUFF
👬 pro-DeanCas (I have eyes) // 🤩 Mary stan //⭐ Jack stan // 📚 Sam / Donatello / Metatron-coded (and was told by a friend: Kevin Tran-coded)
My username @shallowseeker is a type of fishing lure, so I thought a Dean and Jack fishing theme would fit perfectly this time around!
I'd rather have you cursed or not is somehow more insane in the context of the scene.
What they're essentially saying is this:
Cas: Dean, I'm too afraid to go with you because I'm cursed. I always make everything worse. I know you're going on a suicide mission, but I know I will somehow make it worse. It's what always happens to me.
Dean: I know that. I know the real possibility that things could somehow go even worse than my suicide mission. Others could die too. And yet. I still want you there. I'd rather have you, cursed or not.
Cas could genuinely be the only thing always going wrong, and Dean would still want him. It doesn't even matter where blame or whatever lies. The only thing that matters is having Cas around, safe and close.
This post reminded me that I doodled this over the weekend. I imagine Dean spotting them in a dumpster, and trying them on in the bathroom only when John was away on a hunt and Sammy was fast asleep.
Dean cries almost every episode of season two btw, and he doesn't try to hide it most of the time either, his damage isn't repression, he's open like a wound that won't heal and you know what, that makes him more like John than any anger he has
i love extremely long oneshots!! please don’t feel pressured to split your fic up, there are many of us who like and even prefer reading 20k plus in one go :) at the end of the day do whatever you’re comfortable with but just in case you wanted another opinion, only split your fic if you think it’s really necessary!
Thank you!!!
Well, I already got carried away and split it into three parts. I'm not sure that helps or not, but we'll see. :(((
“You know what that got him? It got him DEAD. Now you might be able to forget about that, but I CAN’T!” is such a telling moment. At his most vulnerable, at his strongest point of grief and anger, Dean makes it clear that what he had with Cas was different from what Sam had with Cas. And he’s furious that Sam doesn’t understand that.
#“get ahold of himself”#great now I'm imagining Cas hiding behind a plastic plant rubbing one out while watching Dean opening cupboards in a fake kitchen#thanks Shal via @destielrotsmybrain
NOT WHAT I MEANT OH GOD
I meant like, tamping that puppy down with a dose of forceful straighten-up-now jolt of grace.
Now I'M imagining Cas getting caught doing uhm, that... and someone calling security...
