More dads than most @shallowseeker - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
More dads than most
@shallowseeker
🎣 A shallow seeker sinks horizontally, exhibiting a natural kicking action to attract a variety of fish.🐟 ME: Chaotic SPN/SPNwin meta writer who’s been sharing my thoughts since 2023. I'm a little contrary (in good fun), and I enjoy in-world meta shenanigans. STUFF:👬 pro-DeanCas (I have eyes) // 🤩 Mary stan //⭐ Jack stan // 🕮 Sam / Donatello / Metatron-coded
I'm Shal. I watched SPN off and on as a teen, but I didn’t join Tumblr or the fandom until late 2022, when I was bedridden due to a heart condition.
That’s when I started reading fics like american oracle by @handsliketruth & @whiskeyjuniper, The Black Dog Ache by @winchester-reload, and Redux by @valleydean... and I was hooked. Ficlets, meta, shitposts, the whole nine. (I'm still obsessed with all of these stories, if you care.)
⭐ Shal's fave re-readable Dean-Cas fics ⭐
(I need to update this so badly, but you folks keep poking me.)
Anyway, I also have my bookmarks but they are forever a mess, and I keep my macaroni trash comfort porn in there, so read at your own risk.
Anyway, I'm happy to say that my heart condition is much more stable now, and I’m no longer bedridden, but I’m still on Tumblr and still having an amazing time!
ao3 @ shallowseeker
blue.sky @ shallowseeker
pillowfort @ shallowseeker
pinterest @ shallowseeker
dreamwidth @ shallowseeker
discord @ shallowseeker
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TAGGING / WARNINGS
I’m not anti-anything, but I have a real soft spot for imperfect characters. If they come across as too polished or boring, I love digging into their flaws and exploring their Achilles' heels. (For example, I’ve paralleled Lisa Braden’s struggle with understanding grief against Jody Mills’s deeper, lived understanding of it.)
Anything I think could be challenging or a bit of a downer, I tag with #complex at the beginning—#complex john, #complex sam, #complex dean, and so on.
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META
The meta-organization will go here... eventually. (I'm working on a #shal spn rewatch.)
Over the past couple of years, I’ve written a lot of opinions, some of which people still request. My meta tends to focus on later SPN seasons, with deep dives into Jack Kline—aiming to add variety to the ecosystem by highlighting the real, complicated Jack over the "fanon (toddler) stereotype."
A few people have called me TFW-positive, and I genuinely love Team Free Will, even when I'm mentally wringing their necks. My core focus is on Sam, Dean, Castiel, Jack, Mary, and Rowena/the MacLeod family.
Side Goals: @spnwin-reader @wheretheloveisstored
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FICS
I post my fics on Ao3 under shallowseeker, and the new Tumblr page for them is here. (I post a lot of rapid-fire ficlets and ideas in my Tumblr posts, too.)
I write to improve my cognitive dysfunction, and I’m fascinated by religion and natural phenomena (avalanches, sinkholes, etc). My writing style has been described as chaotic, random, and weird—"like one long manic episode."
PSA: My meta thoughts = / = my fic. Sometimes fic is just me goofing off, or horny drivel, or melt-in-your-mouth cotton candy. Don't expect that My Thoughts (TM) will align with it. I reserve the right to be lame and incomprehensible. TY~
= O N G O I N G =
For your crimes against the most high (5 of 14) = "Cas isn't real."
= C O M P L E T E D =
Proper adornment (1/1) = Cas gets obsessed with Dean + jewelry
The facts of life (and death) (1/?) = Chuck VS Symbiote
Blackout on the eastern seaboard (2/2) = Victory sex tango
Truth & despair (15/15) = Dean misremembers the confession
Mirror, mirror (1/1) = The empty peeks into the bunker
I will not be diminished (1/1) = Chuck VS Jack
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OTHER STUFF
👬 pro-DeanCas (I have eyes) // 🤩 Mary stan //⭐ Jack stan // 📚 Sam / Donatello / Metatron-coded (and was told by a friend: Kevin Tran-coded)
My username @shallowseeker is a type of fishing lure, so I thought a Dean and Jack fishing theme would fit perfectly this time around!
Dean, Cas, Jack and the kitchen and Jack's childhood bedroom as common domain
It's so interesting that Dean and Cas are more often portrayed meeting Jack in his bedroom or the bunker kitchen to counsel him or bring him nourishment, at least compared to his other parental figures (Sam, Mary, Bobby).
Sam is undoubtedly his parent, but he's associated more often with the library and pencils--mentor symbols. Of note, Mary also meets Jack in the kitchen and gives familial encouragement in 14x17 Game Night, but her knife training with Jack takes place in the library. Donatello counsels Jack in his kitchen in 14x15 Peace of Mind, but like Sam, there's visual books in the background. It has an added layer of advice-giving/mentorship.
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In 13x23 Let the Good Times Roll, we get Dean coming to JACK'S ROOM-- NIGHT when Jack is emotionally distressed:
Jack writhes on the bed-- having a nightmare. Dean moves for him-- touching his arm--
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And in 14x07 Unhuman Nature, he's coming to the infirmary to make sure Jack has nourishment:
DEAN: "Brought you some carbs. How you (doin')?"
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In 14x03 The Scar, we get Cas coming to JACK'S ROOM-- NIGHT to praise him for his persistence on a case:
CAS: "I'll make you some soup."
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When Jack is dying in 14x08 Byzantium, we see a record player and vinyl in his room, implying that not only do Dean and Jack listen to music together (per 14x16 Don't Go into the Woods), but they may hang out and listen to music in Jack's room.
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In 14x15 Peace of Mind, Cas again comes to counsel Jack -> JACK'S ROOM-- DAY
"Cas knows this "check in" is the last thing the boy wants."
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BONUS: Dean and Cas are ALSO associated to docks, water, and fishing throughout the series as early as season 4, and that also gets transferred to Jack in two specific script instances:
The first is in 13x14 Good Intentions when AU Zacharaiah gives Jack a vision of Cas and Jack fishing (this originally was an extended scene that occurs post-Zachariah's vision of burning the human side of Jack's family):
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And ofc there's the heartwarming fishing scene that actually occurs in 14x07 Unhuman Nature, with Jack and Dean:
It's just interesting how visually Dean and Cas are portrayed characteristically differently, with regards to Jack. You know?
NOTE: Sam comes into Jack's room once in The Big Empty (Jack winds up annoyed with Sam and actually reads his intentions as a little dishonest).
Sam also comes in during 14x01 when Dean and Cas are both MIA. The village parenting at the time is shared with AU Bobby and Mary, and Jack seems a little irked by Sam's professed "belief" in him.
DEAN: (shaky) Sammy, let’s get out of here.
MARY: Don’t you walk away from me. (Dean stops) I never loved you. You were my burden. I was shackled to you. Look what it got me. (She blinks and her eyes turn yellow.)
5x16
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Michael re: Dean + family
JACK: No. Dean -- he's strong.
MICHAEL: He's a gnat. I'm a god. Who would you bet on?
JACK: You don't know anything about Dean.
MICHAEL: I'm in his head...literally. I know everything.
Like, I know how sad he was when you died...on the outside.
On the inside, well, it's not that he was happy -- he just didn't care.
'Cause you're not Sam. You're not Cas. You're a new burden that he was handed. You're a weak, helpless thing. You think that they care about you, love you? You're a job, a job none of them wanted.
And you --
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DEAN: Shut up!
MICHAEL: You don't need them. You don't even like them.
They're not your family -- they're your responsibilities. They're a weight around your neck.
14x10
BONUS:
DEAN: The hard way. Surviving a lonely childhood, a stinking war... only to get married and have his wife taken by a demon... and later killed by one himself. That man got a bum rap around every turn.
...
HENRY: I'm sorry. I wish I had been there for him.
...
DEAN: Your responsibility was to your family, not some glorified book club!
8x12
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JACK: NO! Leave me. I can't stop this. I'm coming apart. I don't want to hurt you. Don't let me hurt you.
DEAN: Hey, hey, hey, we're not giving up on you, okay? (to Sam) Uh... magic. Magic. One of Rowena's spells. Come on, we've got to do something!
15x18
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Kids aint supposed to be grateful! They're supposed to eat your food and break your heart.
I think Rowena's "I will not apologize for being a career woman" belongs in this list somehow. There's something about being shackled to family, about it being a curse... and a gift.
Or, as SPNwin championed in its earlier interviews, that family is a weak spot. That's what Supernatural explores the most, I think Drake said? That it makes you stronger; it makes you weaker.
I'd rather have you cursed or not is somehow more insane in the context of the scene.
What they're essentially saying is this:
Cas: Dean, I'm too afraid to go with you because I'm cursed. I always make everything worse. I know you're going on a suicide mission, but I know I will somehow make it worse. It's what always happens to me.
Dean: I know that. I know the real possibility that things could somehow go even worse than my suicide mission. Others could die too. And yet. I still want you there. I'd rather have you, cursed or not.
Cas could genuinely be the only thing always going wrong, and Dean would still want him. It doesn't even matter where blame or whatever lies. The only thing that matters is having Cas around, safe and close.
This post reminded me that I doodled this over the weekend. I imagine Dean spotting them in a dumpster, and trying them on in the bathroom only when John was away on a hunt and Sammy was fast asleep.
Dean cries almost every episode of season two btw, and he doesn't try to hide it most of the time either, his damage isn't repression, he's open like a wound that won't heal and you know what, that makes him more like John than any anger he has
i love extremely long oneshots!! please don’t feel pressured to split your fic up, there are many of us who like and even prefer reading 20k plus in one go :) at the end of the day do whatever you’re comfortable with but just in case you wanted another opinion, only split your fic if you think it’s really necessary!
Thank you!!!
Well, I already got carried away and split it into three parts. I'm not sure that helps or not, but we'll see. :(((
“You know what that got him? It got him DEAD. Now you might be able to forget about that, but I CAN’T!” is such a telling moment. At his most vulnerable, at his strongest point of grief and anger, Dean makes it clear that what he had with Cas was different from what Sam had with Cas. And he’s furious that Sam doesn’t understand that.
