Thinkin about Dean's complicated desires to protect and be protected; the competing desire to be trusted with and shielded from
////
One of the first scenes that epitomized Dean's warring needs re: Cas was in 5x18.
CASTIEL: Because there are at least five angels in there.
DEAN: So? You’re fast.
CASTIEL: They’re faster.
CASTIEL takes off his tie and wraps it around his palm.
CASTIEL: I’ll clear them out. You two grab the boy. This is our only chance.
DEAN: Whoa, wait. You’re gonna take on five angels?
///
There are many ways to deal with this deranged, contradictory emotion. To (A) goad him into being faster, harder, stronger or (B) call him a baby and a whiner and hope that he steps up or (C) take him out of the fight all together "Just stay here and get better!"
///
SNIPPET from this conversation:
(In season 14)
...there's the irrational desire of Dean's that Cas would just fix it all and shield Dean from all of it. This is something that Dean's scripted irrationality in Game 14x18 Absence accomplishes so, so well:
CAS: "Are you mad because I didn't tell you-- or that I'm telling you at all?" DEAN: "BOTH!"
It's both!!!!!
He craves Cas's protection. But he resents it, too. It's what he loves about him. It's what he hates about him. It's the power dynamic that brings him simultaneous comfort and pain.
The sad thing is, if Cas had solved Jack's soul problem on his own, Dean would have probably been elated and relieved. Just like how he was in total awe when Cas got the Leviathan blossom on his own. Dean was weak in the knees for it-- ready to tell Cas something big for it. It's so messy and dualistic and complicated.
///
Anyway, that protectorship of it all is complicated. That's what this spooky line is about in 15x02. Everyone everywhere is reminding Cas of his failed familial obligations. Here are the civilians in the gym, getting frustrated with Cas:
ANDY: First Nan went missing. Now Dave and Sheri. CASTIEL: We are looking for them everywhere. ANDY:You said you'd keep us safe. [Cas has no better answers for him. He pauses, closes his eyes for a moment, and then walks away]
Cas is the failed protector, the absent soldier who's trying his best to be on ALL impossible fronts: battlefield, home, marriage, work.
It's the same raw frustration we see out of a distraught Dean in 3x10:
DEAN: He's the one who couldn't protect his family. He- (DEAN steps back and swings the weapon again, hitting DREAM DEAN twice.) He's the one who let Mom die.
Cas was supposed to succeed where John failed! But it's too much weight. No one can be that strong. Not even Cas.
