fic like therapy: Spudcity’s How to mend with gold
POV Taehyung
AU: Contemporary American (NYC 2020)
Ship: Kim Taehyung/Min Yoongi
Length: 72k in 9 chapters
Summary: Taehyung has a list of things to do to become a better person, and that's how he ends up volunteering at a queer youth centre. There’s only one problem – Yoongi works there. The same Yoongi who rejected him years ago and hasn’t given him the time of day since.
Themes: Social media and celebrity, consent, LGBTQ youth, anxiety, PTSD
Why it resonates: Written in Taehyung's pov, the text captures the dizzying effort to reconcile one’s murky subjective experience with contrary evidence in other parties’ actions and words. This Taehyung is used to negotiating his social reality, deferring to others when they aren't interested in his perspective and lying when reframing isn't enough to keep it pleasant. Some of these discrepancies are deliberate constructions (influencer image, gaslighting “friend”, impossible mother), others are a misunderstanding or the result of broken self esteem. Taehyung starts in crisis, isolated by these tactics and unable to understand his own hurt. Through the fic, Taehyung learns how to trust himself and others by finding a safer way to live and accepting help from those who care.
Personally: A lot of Tae’s struggles feel familiar. The mindfuck of people feeling entitled to your body, the impulse to smooth over failings that don't seem justifiable, and the emotional wall he has built to keep even good friends safe from his “too much” mess. It's soothing to watch Taehyung break this all down, bit by bit, and heal. Especially sweet is Yoongi’s support, first grudgingly and then gently offering the tools and space for Taehyung to find his feet. Also every time a weird Taehyung is loved for his whole self, my heart grows three sizes.
Warnings: Sexual assault (off camera), Stalking, PTSD, Messed up family dynamics, Drug and alcohol use, Homophobia, Child abuse (off camera), The Idle Rich. Read the full tags and the authors notes per chapter and take care.
Highlights: they/them Hoseok, Drag queen Seokjin, Jungkook as 13 year old brat, gruff guncle, therapeutic ice cream, shameless Taehyung vs stone Yoongi, constructively coercive VMin, literal brothers TaeJoon, and demonstrated character growth (all show, no tell)
fic like therapy: Sometimes stories help us understand ourselves and our lives, illuminating experiences in ways that change the lessons learned. Sometimes, they walk us past familiar traumas to firmer ground. While this impact is not always intended by the authors, but we can still thank them for their art. I'm using this tag to highlight some favourite works in my current fandom corner: BTS RPF.
