i feel this is accurate

seen from Luxembourg
seen from Trinidad & Tobago

seen from Luxembourg

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from Italy

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Armenia
seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from China
seen from India
seen from South Korea
seen from Russia

seen from India
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from Türkiye

seen from Italy
i feel this is accurate
My favorite nerd.
Urahara: That's the beauty of being me. People assume I'm scheming even when I'm not.
https://www.tumblr.com/villainsrtasty/809577483055874049/mayuri-may-very-well-knows-everybodys-business
Imagine all the people infected with the surveillance bacteria by now. Mayuri would surely make bank off selling that information
Omg maybe we should start this as a series?????
Mayuri's information vault
Where information is more valuable than money.
Pay the right price and the dirtiest of secret will be delivered in a USB stick.
Information is graded from A to F. Higher the stakes, heftier the fee.
What do you say? Want to play along?
@toxictaicho
ꕥ``Tedious.``ꕥ Mayuri Kurotsuchi x AMAB! Airhead!Reader ✧・゚: *✧・゚:*:・゚✧*:・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚:*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*:・゚✧*:・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚:*:・゚✧*:・゚✧・゚:
Fandom: Bleach
Rated: NSFW (18+)
Word Count: 4.1K
Genre: Dating Headcanons, Neurodivergent Mayuri Headcanons, (NSFW UNDER THE CUT)
Warnings: 18+ only! No mention of He/Him pronouns, mentions of Unestablished relationship at the start, cock is a describing word for the reader's genitalia, minimal mention of Nemu, slight Yandere themes, general mental health/light involuntary self harm headcanons for Mayuri, sub!reader, dom!Mayuri, anal sex, rimming, anal fingering, degradation, dry humping, knife play, blood play, fear play, cuckolding.
! There is a SFW and NSFW drabble in this work, 2nd POV !
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*:・゚✧*:・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚:*:・゚✧*:・゚✧・゚:
! SAFE FOR WORK HEADCANONS !
ꕥ- Mayuri never really cared for dating anyone in general. He had considered attraction to other people a primitive urge and would not allow himself to stoop down to "pitiful romantic affairs".
ꕥ- In terms of his sexuality, Mayuri never considered himself anything. Mayuri considers romance as an instinct to breed and nothing more, Homosexuality and Heterosexuality holds no meaning toward him. He simply doesn't care enough to think about labelling himself, but he can be placed under the Bisexuality umbrella.
ꕥ- Other than his ego creating a field of untouchability around Mayuri, he simply feels that he puts far too much time into his field of profession to be able to balance a healthy relationship on top of that.
ꕥ- When he meets his S/O, Mayuri is not afraid to express a vile distaste to the behaviours that you exhibit within the minimal conversation the two exchanged.
ꕥ- He will refer to you by formalities and expects you to do the same for him. He gets quite annoyed if you call him by his first name without permission.
ꕥ- Mayuri would go as far as trying to remove your ability to talk in general because of the massive difference in intellect the two of you hold, only being prevented in doing so because although you're airheaded, you are productive.
ꕥ- He finds a sick satisfaction in scolding you with every small mistake, Mayuri enjoys the way your nose scrunches up in irritation, or the way fear fills your eyes when you know he's going to pass a harsh punishment on you.
ꕥ- The only reason why Mayuri would've ever consider dating you would be because of your personality; he'd feel naturally drawn toward you due to an undiscovered instinct he has to nurture.
ꕥ- Not to mention being around you would consistently stroke the already inflated ego Kurotsuchi has.
ꕥ- When he first catches feelings for you, Mayuri reminds himself of everything he hates about you. He hates how reckless you were in his laboratory, the messes you made and the quite unintelligible conversations you attempt to have with him.
ꕥ- However as the feelings fester and get nurtured from every little endearing thing you do, he finds himself being more mindful toward how he treats you, approaching you a bit more slowly than he usually does since he knows how hard it is for you to catch up with his intelligence.
ꕥ- Mayuri will probably vent his problems to Nemu, not because he feels like she could support him, but because he likes to put his issues onto someone who won't talk back or try to provide him advice.
ꕥ- Mayuri asking you out will be more of a demand or order rather than a request. It wouldn't be anything extravagant, at best you'd probably receive some kind of morbid letter under your door describing in detail of what parts of your personality he likes most, and the parts he likes least.
ꕥ- Considering that Mayuri is Neurodivergent, he isn't necessarily the touchiest of people. When Mayuri desires affection, he usually prefers showing it in other ways, often rambling about something interesting that he discovered in a recent experiment.
ꕥ- When he does show physical affection, it's usually from a subtle touch on the shoulder, do not expect a hug from him while greeting you, ever. The only time he would hug his s/o is if Mayuri was happy about a breakthrough in his research, not because he's happy to see you.
ꕥ- Kisses on the other hand, oh boy you're in for a ride. Mayuri loves degrading you, so doing it in public where he could humiliate you entirely is something he is addicted to. Surprisingly, if you establish boundaries in PDA Mayuri will abide by them begrudgingly, after all, he doesn't want you running away from him so soon.
ꕥ- He especially loves using his freakishly long tongue to keep you on your toes.
ꕥ- On the other hand, if you attempt to kiss Mayuri in public he'd probably end up pushing you away from him as if you had the plague. Mayuri does not like it when things are initiated by another person because it makes him feel weak, so it is not a good idea to kiss him in front of people.
ꕥ- If you want an apology, you will need to ask him to apologise for that, Mayuri has almost no empathy and will probably think that the way he responded to your advances as normal.
ꕥ- Mayuri will avoid running experiments on you at this point, his mind would be occupied with the possibility of breaking you too much for you to stay with him or even love him the way you currently do.
ꕥ- It would be easy for Mayuri to lose interest in a person if they can't keep up with his eccentric behaviour, so you better count on matching his energy the entire time you're in a relationship with him.
ꕥ- However it's not all semi-pleasant with his eccentricities, Mayuri suffers from SHU Syndrome and often has periods of psychosis due to being confined in the Maggot's Nest for so long.
ꕥ- This trauma also lead him to seeing himself as something less of a person and more of a thing to experiment on, which explains why he wears his makeup. Mayuri is obsessed with control, he doesn't like being seen anything similar to a person because in truth Mayuri knows that the vast majority of the time he can't relate to the love, experiences, or mourns of other people. The makeup helps exaggerate his personality and how he is seen by other people, it's his way of separating himself from anything he perceives on himself as too human.
ꕥ- Mayuri's emotional response to this period starts as a slow simmer, he starts distancing himself from you altogether, in fact Mayuri seems to depend on Nemu to bring him food and water, which is something he'd never do for the sake of keeping his pride.
ꕥ- On the event that he does leave his room during this period of time, albeit rare, you will notice that his fingertips are raw, and his usual clown-like appearance is smudged, as if Mayuri was delirious while applying it.
ꕥ- When these periods of time pass Mayuri is typically more easily agitated for a few days afterward, which leads him to snap at you much more often than since getting together with you.
ꕥ- On the topic of marriage, it is safe to assume that most marriages in the Soul Society are usually alliances between noble houses rather than love, so Mayuri never thought about getting married to anyone.
ꕥ- It is unlikely he'd ask for your hand in marriage, but there is no logical reasoning for him to say no to you other than not having much time for emotional intimacy.
ꕥ- In fact, Mayuri might like the idea of you belonging to him in that way.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*:・゚✧*:・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚:*:・゚✧*:・゚✧・゚:
! SFW DRABBLE ! Word Count: 718
Cold hands brushed against skin, the violent antiseptic scent of Mayuri's bedroom abusing your senses as piercing gold eyes cut into your own, as if they were trying to pick apart every thought and action that ever did in front of them.
Mayuri's room was a strange place to sit patiently in as he explores your body, his tongue tasting every inch of skin that was revealed from underneath your Kosode, at least without Mayuri having to peel anything off to grant himself access underneath.
Your lips tingled with excitement and newfound energy whenever the two of you parted before you chased Mayuri for another passionate kiss, your hands carding through his blue locks of hair, which was typically styled into a wild mohawk, but he hadn't much time to do it up before you barged into his room and demanded for affection.
When you glanced around, your eyes begun to naturally get used to the dim lighting that barely illuminated Mayuri's painted form, and you could allow them to swallow up your surroundings in greedy gulps.
It wasn't necessarily a big room, instead of the traditional wooden floorboards you'd find yourself walking across when traversing the barracks of Squad 12 you'd find that the flooring that was underneath you had been plush and padded just as the walls and roof were, like one of the many mental hospitals you'd visit in the World of the Living.
To the right of where you currently were, there was a large, rectangular indent on the wall, undoubtedly the fold-out table that Mayuri had installed for himself when he was experiencing an episode and couldn't bare leave his room without feeling like a horrid beast was breathing down his neck.
Another feature of Mayuri's custom place of slumber was the sloped surfaces, most notably the shower in the corner of his room which was tilted down in undoubtedly the most uncomfortable angle to shower with. It was obvious that his room was made this way to suicide-proof it, not because Mayuri was suicidal, but in the case than an enemy was capable of controlling him and decided to make Mayuri attempt suicide, or so that's the conclusion you came up with, who knows what was going on inside of Mayuri's labyrinth of a mind.
His bed was probably the only thing that you two shared in common when it came to living space was the futon that the paranoid captain of Squad 12 was currently sitting on, not a stain in sight which made sense considering how much of a clean freak Mayuri could be.
A sudden nip to the neck snapped you out of your thoughts with a loud gasp being torn from the chambers of your throat. Mayuri clearly noticed that your attention shifted off him for a moment and didn't appreciate that.
"You shouldn't pry so much, you know?" Mayuri warned in a raspy tone of voice, laced with the same desire for closeness you shared with him. Your face flushed, red hot embarrassment embedding itself within the depths of your being after Mayuri had called you out for dozing off in the middle of your make out session.
An uncomfortable pause passed between the two of you, silently agreeing that this was a good time to have a break even if it were uncomfortable for you to look the man in the eye.
"I'm sorry," you apologised briefly, lips curled up into a wry, goofy smile that you swore momentarily cracked the cold gaze that was plastered onto your Captain's expression.
"You're such a dolt, you demand for affection, but you get distracted so easily..." it wasn't long before your lips started to dance with Mayuri's once more, his face paint smeared and turning some parts grey.
His fingers bit into your shoulder and in result caused you to reach toward his face, thumb sliding across the contours of his sharp jawline, to the uncomfortable earpiece that liked to poke into you when you were blessed the permission to sit beside Mayuri.
A groan passed Mayuri's lips at the touch, your thumb grazing his Adam's apple and applying pressure, your action causing the golden gazed man to shudder in just the right way, a burning hot reminder of the delicate balance the two of you had.
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! NOT SAFE FOR WORK HEADCANONS !
ꕥ- Surprisingly, Mayuri has a high libido despite avoiding physical affection like the plague. however, before you, he solved his issues with his hand rather than the company of another person. In all honesty Mayuri found it much easier to do things himself than have someone whine because he didn’t want to waste any more time trying to give the same amount of attention to them as they did he.
ꕥ- However as soon as he got his hands on you, Mayuri quickly grows addicted. It’s much more fun to get himself off by having someone he likes to fuck than his hand, especially with the ways he can taste you deeper than he ever has before.
ꕥ- He prefers to have sex in the confines of his bedroom, or in the personalised sex dungeon he has prepared for you, because it allows for him to bring whatever depraved fetish or kink he desires from you to the table without the possibility of a perverse eye watching the two of you, in his eyes, you're his to touch, his to taste and feel.
ꕥ- Mayuri’s cock is modified like the rest of his body, connected by three different segments to make himself longer in an unorthodox fashion which leaves him at a staggering 9 inches, but that doesn’t take the pleasure of sex. The stitches aren’t fragile which makes the chances of them breaking during sex unlikely, and his cock is curved to a nice angle, this combination bringing friction that’ll leave your body tingling with every thrust. He is neatly trimmed, a light dusting of blue hair at his base and trailing up to the area just below his bellybutton. Mayuri's balls hang low which is complimented by the flushed red tip of his arousal, expect him to go a few rounds when he really means it.
ꕥ- Another note to add in regard of his makeup, Mayuri does in fact paint his cock to match his body.
ꕥ- His favourite part of you is the crook of your neck and your spine, Mayuri enjoys running his fingers down the ridges of your back just as much as he loves to kiss it, it provides Mayuri a level of satisfaction that kissing you normally doesn't typically offer him.
ꕥ- Mayuri when he is prepping you for sex prefers to stay fully clothed, staring at your tantalising body as his fingers explore all the nooks and crannies that would be hidden otherwise.
ꕥ- Mayuri loves receiving more than he likes giving because it allows him to feel like he is the one in control, alongside the fact that Mayuri is quite selfish when it comes to the pleasures of the bedroom. He'll prefer having you on your knees so he can fuck your throat in every way he likes. However, when he's on the giving end he's definitely using his tongue, if your cock is veiny, he'll be tasting every single one individually, if it's skinny he'll wrap his tongue around you like a snake, anything you could imagine Mayuri doing with his tongue is more than likely something he would do.
ꕥ- On the topic of giving, if you expect any rimming from Mayuri, he expects you to take a shower prior to sex because of how paranoid with germs Mayuri is, he loves you, but there are a few things that he is less open to doing.
ꕥ- It was mentioned before that Mayuri liked to degrade his S/O, so in bed his harsh words increase tenfold as long as you're comfortable with it. Mayuri loves it when you're on your knees for because that gives him all sorts of things to say to you, one of the most memorable things he has said to you is "You really like being on my knees for me, don't you? Have you practiced with everyone else in Squad 12, I wouldn't be surprised with how much of slut you are."
ꕥ- Mayuri's fingers are long and slim, don't be surprised if he makes you come a few times, abusing your prostate as much as he could until you're whimpering for him to stop scissoring you open because of how overstimulated you are.
ꕥ- Before fucking you, Mayuri prefers to dry hump you, he enjoys the way his hand wraps around your cock and the sound of his clothing clothing shuffling against skin, pumping your length furiously within his hand and while his other is holding you down as he humps you like a dog in rut.
ꕥ- Mayuri doesn't find him typically satisfied with vanilla sex, he prefers things to be rougher and more depraved, teeth snapping against skin and nails raking down flesh to create marks that will last for hours after sex.
ꕥ- His favourite positions are doggystyle and mating press. Mayuri rarely ever likes to sub in bed because he likes to have you rely on him for pleasure completely.
ꕥ- With doggystyle Mayuri can bury your face into a pillow or whatever is below you with the palm of his hand, having you at his mercy while he pistons his cock deep inside of your waiting hole, or with his hand wrapped around your neck so he could hold you up to his chest and pant beside your ear feverishly.
ꕥ- On the other hand, a mating press makes it possible for him to fuck you almost anywhere he so desires. Most of the time, it is over his desk or against a counter, his cock deliciously nudging against your prostate with every violent thrust of his hips, milking you of all you're worth to his hearts content.
ꕥ- Just because Mayuri is mostly a top doesn't mean he can't bottom if you want him to. He likes to be humiliated just as much as he likes to humiliate you, so pressing him against the wall to the point that he can't move will drive him crazy with desire, his insides hugging your length and practically sucking you into him.
ꕥ- Mayuri is very sensitive, where he can last a long time if he's the one on top, Mayuri can be rendered into a snivelling, begging mess if you decide to caress the base of his cock while fucking into his body without mercy.
ꕥ- He is not a big fan of aftercare, at first Mayuri simply cleans himself up and expects you to do the same, but if you express that you want some kind of care after sex, Mayuri will try his best to compromise. Mayuri will run a bath for you most times so he wouldn't have to do much, it's rather heartless, but at least Mayuri is trying.
ꕥ- To him, you may be quite stupid but you aren't horrible in bed, he'll praise you after a session, and in fact might find it amusing to offer you some kind of sweet as if he hadn't fucked your brains out only mere moments before.
ꕥ- Cockwarming, although a little annoying to prepare in Mayuri's opinion, is one of the mad scientist's favourite things to do with you. He likes to be able to do work in his bedroom while you're rested on his lap, a hand on your thigh to prevent you from squirming all too much while his other hand is occupied with writing a report about his recent findings.
ꕥ- As stated before, Mayuri loves overstimulating you, he could make you come a number of times before finishing his work and then paying proper attention to you.
ꕥ- Mayuri can't have a routine when it comes to sex, he is rather restless and often experiments with every fetish and kink he possibly could pull from the back of his mind as long as you are comfortable with it.
ꕥ- Some of his favourite kinks surround knives, he likes being able to leave a reminder onto your very being, and the taste of the iron in your blood is addictive to him. Sometimes, Mayuri traces the underside of your length with the blade, not necessarily cutting you down there, but teasing you.
ꕥ- Mayuri also has a particular kink about the fear that fills your eyes when you know he is going to hurt you, in fact if you let him Mayuri would probably go through with his threats as long as he has a safe method of keeping you in one piece.
ꕥ- Unless if the two of you are very close, don't expect Mayuri to remove the makeup, even for sex, so shower sex will be hard to achieve unless if his makeup is waterproof. In the case that it is, he'll purposefully fuck you against the glass every time, your chest pressed up against the see trough material as your cock bobs pathetically with every thrust, untouched and aching for release.
ꕥ- Cuckolding? That is out of the question for Mayuri, he is a very jealous man through and through, which means it wouldn't be unlikely that he would probably stop you before you finish and ruin you himself. Mayuri would definitely find a way to simulate it for you, if you desperately want it.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*:・゚✧*:・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚:*:・゚✧*:・゚✧・゚:
! NSFW DRABBLE !
Word Count: 744 Warnings: Dom!Mayuri, Sub!Reader, Mayuri is wearing his paint, hand jobs (user receiving), knife play, blood play, no orgasm.
A cold hand was wrapped around your length, a mostly nailless thumb caressing the underside of your glans while giving the occasional swipe to the sensitive slit of the tip. You were left bucking hopelessly in the mad scientists hand, his eyes watching closely for your every reaction, every twitch of your leaking cock in his hand.
He made sure to use a higher quality paint for this considering that the two of you liked to get messy in situations such as this, especially since neither of you had much time to begin with.
Mayuri liked this position, he loved seeing your hands gripping the edge of a tool box to the point that it made it seem like you were trying to become a part of it, the feeling of his heart rattling against your back sent shivers of pleasure down into the pit of Mayuri's stomach.
Your thoughts were practically cast aside as he palmed your cock, the mix of his cool skin enveloping the warmth of your shaft suffocated your entire being with a layer of pleasure that your hand has never brought to itself before.
A sudden squeeze to the base caused your hips to buck forward into Mayuri's hand, the other, which was originally playing with your already reddened nipples shot up to catch the gasp that was almost pulled from you with a squeeze of your throat. Mayuri's teeth ghosted the shell of your ear before giving it a sharp nip, a strange laugh coming from him as you elbowed his side, hoping to send a message of distaste for his actions without messing the rhythm of his strokes up.
Mayuri cooed as you tried to let out another sound, his hand tightening once more over the pipe that allowed any sound to come out of, a coiling feeling swelling at the pit of your gut while the man's pace became achingly slow.
For a moment he'd stop the movement of his hands all together, the only thing keeping your arousal awake was the small circles he'd trace into the bottom of your length, and you trying to get him to continue by pathetically moving your hips against his hand like a bitch in heat.
"I thought I told you that I am the one in control here, or have we somehow forgotten that?" The man hissed venomously into your ear, his damp breath fanning against the soft hairs at the back of your neck which in turn sent shivers running down your spine.
With a wide grin on his face, Mayuri's hand slipped away from your cock a moment later, leaving you to whine in protest. You couldn't help but turn into putty from his touch, the hand gliding across your skin in as if it were a song that he had played dozens of times.
Mayuri wasn't very secretive about his sadism, especially with the glint that was burning deep within his gaze as he saw you, panting leaning your weight back onto the metal surface below which had since been warmed by your body heat.
A knife pressed against your lower abdomen, sliding from just below your abdomen to the surface of your sternum, dancing across your chest like a heartless serpent in the deep dunes of Hueco Mundo. A sudden pressure from the knife to the surface of your skin left a cut on your stomach, it wasn't bone deep, but it was certainly deep enough to allow a trickle of blood to run down your body and to your hip before Mayuri caught it in the tracks and swiped the droplet astray.
You'd watch with a quiet groan as he'd lick the blood off his fingers as if it were the sweetest wine of all, the crimson liquid coating his tongue in a grotesque display of dominance as his eyes locked onto your expression.
The tip of the knife made contact to the plane just underneath your cock, tracing up and down slowly as if Mayuri was mapping out places to cut and gore to his hearts content. However, the pain didn't return and the mad scientist tucked the crooked blade to your gut again, a threat telling you not to move.
The wide grin returned to your partner's expression, the hand which paint was now chafing from the dried blood wrapping around your cock once more. "I'd say we better finish up here, I don't want you to become a tedious distraction..."
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*:・゚✧*:・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚:*:・゚✧*:・゚✧・゚:
十二
Thistle: Vengeance, strictness, independence.
My costume for Halloween was Ghostface (the dead by daylight design) and I made perk charms!
“Butch Bait”
“Department of R&D squad 12”





