What is the Squall is dead theory. And while we are at it, what is the Rinoa is Ultimecia theory?
I am not well-versed enough in Final Fantasy 8 to know what the “Rinoa is Ultimecia” Theory is because I got sick of the game and gave up before they introduced Ultimecia.
I did, however, play far enough that the “Squall is Dead” theory makes sense to me. Now, I’m probably going to butcher this, because I’m recounting it from memory, so if you want to read it “for real,” you can just hit up squallsdead.com.
Squall is Dead is related to an old trick people apply to many different things. The overarching concept is that “(X) died” is used to explain away why the story gets progressively weirder and more nonsensical as it reaches its conclusion. It ties up loose ends and plugs plotholes under the guise of “it’s SUPPOSED to be broken.” The idea is that as this person dies, and their brain shuts down, they basically live in a dreamworld of their own creation that slowly begins to unravel as the life leaves their body.
A classic example is in The Simpsons. In one episode, Homer asks God about the meaning of life. God says he can’t tell Homer until after he dies, but Homer demands to know anyway. God jokes, “What, you can’t wait six months?” Exactly six months later, the April Fools episode airs, where Bart hospitalizes Homer after he opens an explosive can of beer. The theory is that every episode from that point onwards takes place in Homer’s mind, explaining the increasingly silly tone the show takes.
In Squall’s case, Disc 1 of Final Fantasy 8 ends with a big assault on the game’s villain, the witch Edea. Squall comes from Balamb Garden, which in this scenario, is basically the Final Fantasy version of Hogwarts. There he’s been studying battle tactics, magic, and more, and this attempted assassination on Edea is his first real mission in the field.
They plan out this whole sequence of events that is supposed to leave Edea defenseless so that Irvine, their sniper, can get a clear shot and kill her. Unfortunately, everything goes double and triple wrong. Rinoa, who is from a neighboring school and helped organize this mission, is literally grounded by her father before they set out on the mission, because if I remember right, her father doesn’t want her “getting hurt.” (That old chestnut)
At the last minute Rinoa disobeys her father and decides she’s going to help, even though they clearly state that they have to stick to their plan no matter what, and any unexpected element can screw everything up (like, say, Rinoa showing up out of nowhere). Unsurprisingly, Rinoa arrives and screws everything up because she doesn’t know what she’s doing, and on top of that, Irvine suddenly gets too nervous to take the shot and wimps out. So now you’ve got this random element running around (Rinoa) and a loser sniper who isn’t going to do anything, leaving the rest of the crew sort of confused as to what they should do next. The plan is in total disarray and everybody might as well surrender.
I think as a last-ditch effort, Squall charges Edea’s parade float and for this he gets three gigantic spears of ice straight through the heart. It’s like a Mortal Kombat X fatality; he should have a hole in his chest the size of a basketball.
Squall falls, and everything goes dark.
