Using Square-ular logic
I awoke tomorrow with the strange feeling that I could remember something that had happened today. After dismissing this as a side effect of brain-fluff, I sat down on the ceiling next to my computer and began to write a story as a follow-up to something I once read about robotic thugs, bananasicles, and crunchy stuffed animals. Then I realized the keyboard was on the desk, and got down from the ceiling to poke it in a mechanically memorized pattern to produce what you've already read. Shortly thereafter, this sentence was written. After debating the meaning of life for a few minutes, I realized that I wouldn't be particularly successful at trying to figure it out all by myself. So I turned to myself and instructed me to use the computer I told myself I was at to go on the internet and look it up. Thusly, Life (–noun) 1. the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally. This, I concluded, was spectacularly uninteresting. I then stepped away from the computer, convinced that it was determined to ruin my fun, and threw a baseball through the monitor, inserted a moist sponge into the DVD drive, and ingested the motherboard, which needed salt. Considering the previous sentence, I'll never know how I managed to finish writing this note. "Maybe I should eat a bananasicle," I thought to myself. Then I remembered that there were none, for alas, they had been taken by robotic thugs-- not to mention I needed an excuse to use the word 'alas.' Suddenly, I realized that in about ten seconds, I would be aware that I was writing a note, and it might start to either make sense or become boring. In other news, I'd just like to tell you all a little about my favorite bits of a book I just read on quantum physics, followed by a lecture on our president and a detailed account of the activity in the stock market as of late. Hang on a second, what's that flying towards my fa... OW! Hey, wait... why did I type that? Or that? Hey, I'm automatically making myself type everything I think or say. Why can't I stop? I guess I'd better just stop writing this note, before I say something that makes me seem even more foolish that I already may to those who have read what I've written so far...