Going to art school this year and I’m nervous I won’t be good lol
Ive been doing art my whole life but the past few years have gone down hill and I feel uninterested unexcited and uncreative
But I’ve really been trying to feel good again..
I also have a bad need to impress people aughg ,,,,,,,
I’ve been waiting for this point in my life for so long , to finally be able to do what I want.. make art all the time.. but bad ways of thinking and brain worms came at the worst time💔
Art was the one thing I knew I was the best at and I felt confidence in and was my whole identity, and multitudes of bad relationships, traditional school, and comparison knocked it all out of me I guess.. it just feels foggy and it really hurts, I keep looking for that flow again.. things used to be so cool to me and I hope I can find that again. I was so naturally excitable- I guess I still am, but it’s just different.. it has a weird uncomfy layer of hyper awareness.
I think the college environment may help me get there again I hope. Just , nervous and worried , excited too, but.. I don’t want to feel awful man hsbsjs
I really really dislike admitting this (but it’s just something I keep noticing about how I feel, something I figured out) but I think I get worried like.. if other people can do what I do or better.. cooler.. what good am I? I’m not special or cool anymore 😳And I really really don’t wanna feel that way, I’m excited too though because I’ve heard good things about the place I’m going to so I’m thinking the environment won’t let those bad feelings happen I hope , but yea💔