Jan 1, 2023
Emily: What if dogs lick us because they know we have bones inside us and want them?
Derek: wait a minute-
JJ, whisper yelling: Enough! We are in the FIELD!
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Emily: What if dogs lick us because they know we have bones inside us and want them?
Derek: wait a minute-
JJ, whisper yelling: Enough! We are in the FIELD!
"What is love?"
JJ: An emotional mindfield.
Spencer: A neurochemical reaction.
Emily, at the top of her lungs: BABY DON'T HURT ME!
(phot creds: e.prentiss.cm on Instagram!)
Emily: You need a high-five.
Derek:
Emily: In the face.
Derek: Emily.
Emily: With a chair. *picks up a chair*
Derek: HOTCH!
Hotch, from his office: Emily, whatever you're doing now, stop.
*The team is doing CPR on a test dummy*
Hotch: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?
Emily: No, Hotch. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.
Hotch: No, that’s not part of it—
Emily: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?
Derek: I would want to live with no legs.
Emily: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Derek. You don’t do anything.
Hotch: All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him. *Emily pumps frantically* Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute.
Emily: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?
JJ: How’s that gonna help you?
Emily: I will divide and then count to it.
JJ: Right.
Hotch: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?
Emily: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified..
Derek: You're such a pussy.
Emily: I am what I eat.
Spencer: *spits out coffee*
Spencer: Jellyfish have survived 600,000 years without brains–
Derek: Woohoo, hope for Prentiss!
Emily: FUCK YOU!
Emily: When have I ever done anything rash or irresponsible?
Hotch: I've made a list.
Spencer: And I have it memorized. Would you like to hear it in Chronological or Alphabetical order?
*Emily is cleaning the house and she finds an empty bottle of orange juice*
Emily: Clear orange juice?
Emily: Oh, it's empty.
JJ, who has been watching the entire time: I live with an idiot. I live with an idiot. I live with an idiot.