I didn't know which character of yours to ask this on but I suppose it doesn't atter in the end. Out of a general curiosity: why does it feel like you've closed yourself, and your characters, off from the odea and of relationships off from other characters? They all seem to have one already set up, that it can be really offputting considering they have their own interesting stories to them. It feels like you're excluding on purpose, and it makes folks uninterested from playing with you.
// Thank you for bringing this to my attention! But there are a few reasons to why I do this. I will name them off.
1) In the past I had many roleplaying partners. Each with a unique style and taste. But–My taste in roleplaying with them shifted, became more and more for enjoyment of the darker themed side. They, on that ‘slice of life’ side didn’t like that, and accused of me being demented as a whole for this interest. Even when I started to warn and ask others if they were fine, they merely and slowly left being my roleplaying partner. With or without a word toward me. I have been called a sociopath, and other such names for what I do in fantasy. Its concerning, and damaged me heavily on fully trusting someone again as a full time roleplaying partner.
2) As stated above, I have a unique taste for what I desire in a roleplay. Its not much like most around. Its very dark, demented, and a lot of blood, gore…And all else that follows. Some have told me they are fine with dark themes, only to find out later they were never able to handle what I did. Even with consent, I was still called out for being twisted OOC. So trying to find someone with the same interest and taste is -extremely- hard.
3) I am an EXTREMELY blunt person. Which, given my history, is why some don’t take too kindly toward me. I will say what is on my mind, be it from a roleplay that happened, to how I feel on a behavior someone did. I will say this honestly, and never with a mean intent. Even with this in mind, a lot of folks are very thin-skinned, and believe me to be foul for speaking my thoughts. When, I merely am someone that don’t wish something to boil over in the worst of ways. I am open minded and very welcoming to people that wish to talk to me about -my- behavior as well. But only if its in a kind tone. Harsh words and insults just make me cut ties with someone. So, in that light, I don’t actually hold alot of people to friend status, due to how blunt I am toward some.
4) I adore and treasure my current roleplaying partner, and have been partners for 3 and half years. We know each other’s interest, passion, and we both enjoy the darker themes of roleplay. We also are best friends and share everything with each other, through the good and bad times. That said, recently after a few others mesh NOT SO WELL with me and left my in ruins, She and I made a deal we would not look for other relationships with others. Nor even with ERP. Which to me is perfectly fine.
5) I lose interest VERY EASILY. Which is probably why I enjoy the more drama-filled and darker world of roleplay. Conflict and character’s progression. Along with like a few cute scenes in the middle. But all and all, I have a terrible attention span, and if someone comes up to me and roleplays toward my characters, I am active, expressive, and enjoy trying to make the most out of a scene. A reaction to an action. If someone doesn’t provide the same and just stand there watching for something to happen to them? I will not hold my breath. I want a -character- to interact with -my- character. Not someone that is waiting for something to drop on their lap. Be surprise, that is -a lot- of people I meet.
6) Why no poly then? Easy, I am a heavily, and still am, a very jealous person. I treasure my roleplaying partner so much I twist my emotions around her. If she had a partnership with someone on one of her characters, I don’t know what I would do. The same with mine with another. There is a tied to keep each other sane and happy, so its best we do mono.
7) Not everything is relationships honestly. Sure, it does help with some of the interactions around the community. But I rather know a person before diving into a relationship head on. To grow and hold someone to their word. I still welcome people to come and interact with my guys! There is nothing wrong with not seeking out a relationship! Hell, I played match maker a few times that it was welcoming, and found people their roleplaying partners now! Even with roleplay itself, I enjoy being able to shape the world around my character, be it with or without a relationship. I always have task and jobs people can fulfill for each of my guys, so its enjoyable!
–So! I hope that answered your question, I did seem to ramble on a bit. But thank you again for the ask! It did throw me off guard at first, but looking from an outsider view, yah, you are right. It -is- exclusive. But if that is stopping you from interacting with my character -just- because he is taken, I…Honestly can’t say. I hope you overcome it, and enjoy meeting my guys. <3– //
