Hey, this is former artist (and briefly art director) Keshi. My anxiety over how I had to leave has prevented me from speaking up about anything, and has even prevented me from publicly interacting in Sancord or anyone affiliated with Santae (I really do miss a whole bunch of you though). With the current events, and the many times the teased breeding mechanic has been brought up, I’d like to finally break my silence, and share my experience.
First off, the situation CJ has put Ember in is horrifying, I do not wish to take attention away from this appalling selfish act with my post. I cannot fathom what would bring a person to do this to someone they call their friend. CJ should truly be ashamed of himself, this is going way too far. I never really got the chance to interact with Ember, but I am so sorry you are going through this and I hope things work out for you soon.
A little background on me, I have worked for Subeta and MisticPets in the past, and done commission work for various petsites and games. This experience is spread over the last 18 years, so I’ve seen my fair share of drama on these sites. I’ve never witnessed this level though.
I was willing to (and did) put a lot of time and heart into the egg and hatchling art. I was aware of the amount I’d need to draw, and was ready to commit to what I thought was a desired fun feature with really cute art. I had no idea that this mechanic was not wanted, that it had been stated it would never be a feature on this site. And while I know it wasn’t my decision to make this happen, I am so sorry that money was spent on me creating those images. I am saddened that the feedback on this feature wasn’t respected and listened to. At one point, the AI art incident was brought up during a discussion with CJ, and that the NPCs were being revamped. I am strongly against AI art, and I offered to help fast track the revamps by working on some myself. This was turned down, and I was only to focus on the breeding images.
When it was made aware that Whixy was to sadly step down, I was surprised to be offered the position to take over. I probably triple checked that there definitely wasn’t another artist who had been there longer, who wanted to role, and was reassured no one was interested. I accepted the role, and was excited to be closer to the team and feel I was actively contributing more to current events and features. With access to the calendar and full trello, I could see how many events were planned, the artwork we needed, and that we were, in my eyes, quite behind schedule. I want to preface that this was in no part, Whixy or the previous and current artists fault. They are all amazing, and were doing the best with what they could. I expressed my concerns on how much we needed in a short time. I had offered that I could help get us ahead by working on some items, but I was reassured that we were doing fine and once again the breeding artwork was to be my focus. (Despite this claim, CJ then proceeded to assign/reassign tasks last minute to various artists, and I was informed after the decision was made. So I can only imagine what staff members like Ember, Whixy and Ermineleader would have been through during their time, so much respect from me there)
After realising how much CJ continued to mismanage the site and staff, and witnessing his public conduct in front of users on the discord server and beyond (just in the 2 months I was there), I knew I couldn’t align myself with him. I finally looked into this blog and read the staff letter+ the statement on toyhouse, and my heart was heavy. This, along with many long days/late nights dedicated to drawing for the site, and working on my new art director roles, my body and mind kind of gave up. I won’t go into detail, but it was a sign I had to leave. I know I chose to work as much as I did, but I’m a chronic people pleaser/overachiever (and I also needed the extra income).
The art team was not informed that I had left, and it took almost a week before I had the strength to come back and let them know. I still feel some guilt, like I let everyone down during an already rocky time. I’m so sorry I couldn’t help more.
I have my fears in talking openly about this, but I’d love to lift this weight off my shoulder and finally move on. I know my experience is a small fraction compared to what others have endured, but thanks for allowing me the space to share it. An emotional breakdown over a virtual petsite was not on my 2025 bingo card. I hope everyone left on staff, and those negatively affected by the site both past and current are doing okay.