#stained scribbles

[stainedscribbles]

last week, i visited my old school. it was nice to revisit where i spent most of my life in. i don't know if i've romanticized it by now, but it feels so untainted to me. it existed before so much happened. i was still happy then. i keep thinking about her. who she was. what made her happy. if she would have been proud of me. if she would have recognized me. i feel so disconnected and so different from her. i think she wanted to be a doctor. she was good in science. she smiled a lot. the only thing that made her cry so much was her graduation day, because leaving is painful. it still is. i'm leaving again soon. i wonder if she would have wanted me to stay.

P.T. // Author Confessions #10

[stainedscribbles]

questions:    i. is it possible to hold on to something that has slipped away?    ii. can i be hurt without having the right to be?    iii. is she worth the sadness?    iv. would things be different if i told you?    v. if i remove you from my life, is that taking care of myself?

P.T. // Untitled #17

[stainedscribbles]

i am starting to realize that you could break me. i thought i could tell you.    i could have asked, "please don't break me." because you wouldn't. you were not that type of person.    but you already did. without intending to. because the only way not to was to love me back.

P.T. // Author Confessions #9

[stainedscribbles]

so instead, you decide to sleep. because of  the promise that everything gets better in the morning.    but honey, nothing gets better in the morning    like your hangover    or the fact that he left without saying goodbye    nothing will get better in the morning    like your heart

P.T. // The non-existent book #52

[stainedscribbles]

i have lost the ability to feel. the words have finally slipped away, after being untouched for so long.    maybe this is what closure feels like. maybe words can end the way relationships do.

P.T. // Author confessions #8 // Closures

[stainedscribbles]

and maybe i miss you so much breathing feels like a luxury i don't deserve

P.T. // Thoughts with a hint of tequila

[stainedscribbles]

make home inside the broken    we'll always have room for you

P.T. // Thoughts with a hint of tequila // Ten Word Story

[stainedscribbles]

i am begging for seconds the train was late but the movie started early and you left without saying goodbye

P.T. // Untitled #16