#stan writes

[heartachebf]

tiny, fluffy little bunny drabble i scribbled in my notes ^_^

-

"you’re thinking too much," butters says suddenly, voice quiet and his eyes still shut. "i can hear you thinking." 

"you can hear me?" kenny asks, huffing out a half laugh through his nose as he continues to trace the scar across butters's left eye. 

butters nods, just barely so as to not disturb the movements of kenny's hand. "you breathe heavier than normal when you're thinking too hard about something." 

and, oh, isn’t that something? kenny knows butters is observant, likes to learn every last little piece of the people he loves, but its a whole nother thing to be reminded of just how much butters notices, just how much he cares firsthand like this. kenny doesn't know what to say, so he doesn't say anything, merely pressing a kiss to the corner of butters's mouth.

"what are you thinking about?" butters adds after a moment, eyes slowly opening, albeit a little bleary. as usual, kenny is struck by just how beautiful his big, blue eyes are. one seeing, and the other not. kenny always found an odd sense of poetry in it.

kenny's silent for a moment. he's not sure if he even wants to say. he knows butters will respect if he doesn't want to talk about it, but, well. the way butters is looking at him, so open and vulnerable and loving, it makes kenny want to spill every secret he's ever held onto and more to the beautiful boy underneath him. he opens his mouth and pushes the words out before he can talk himself out of it. "do you ever... do you ever blame me for this?" his voice is barely above a whisper, eyes refusing to meet butters's. instead, he focuses on the movements of his own fingers over the scar. he’s asked this before - many times over the years, in fact. butters always answers the same way, a gentle no, never, hands holding kenny’s face. but the assured answers never stop kenny from wondering if, somehow, someday, the answer might change.

butters makes some sort of soft noise in the back of his throat, hands coming up to gently frame kenny's face. "no," he says, softly, sincerely, fingers coming up to gently rake through kenny's mess of hair. "i don't think i've ever blamed you for it." and, well, that’s never been part of his answer before.

kenny looks up to meet butters's eyes now, a hesitant sort of disbelief on his face. "really? but, i mean, it was my fault-"

butters cuts him off with a hand pressed over kenny's mouth. "ken. we were just dumb kids. you didn't mean to hurt me. i know you, sweetheart. i know you'd never hurt someone on purpose like that. least of all me.”

kenny isn't quite sure how to respond to that, so he doesn't. he simply leans down to kiss butters softly on the mouth. when he pulls away, he sets his forehead against the other's, and lets out the only three words on his mind. "i love you."

butters smiles at that, big and wide and fond, and kenny can't help but kiss him again. butters giggles through it, hand still running through kenny's hair gently. "i love you, too," he says softly when they pull away. "now let's get some sleep, what do you say?"

kenny brushes his nose against butters's, once, twice, before nodding and moving to set his head on the other's chest. he lets his eyes fall shut when he feels the hands roaming through his hair begin to scratch lightly at his scalp. he yawns and leans into butters more. "goodnight, buttercup." 

butters leans down and presses his smile to kenny's hairline in a slightly clumsy kiss. "goodnight, cupcake."

[hidansama]

Tenzovember2020 days 1 & 2

Wanted to participate in Tenzovember so here’s a quick mess of a scribble for days 1 & 2

ROOT & MASK

People call me Kinoe, but I don’t know what my real name is.

I don’t remember much about my life before Danzō rescued me. All I remember is being stuck watching other children around me die one by one, screaming for their lives and fighting until their very last breath. None of my memories from before this are good. None of them. They are full of pain and sadness and fear. I thought I was going to be next.

Do you know what it’s like to watch every single person around you die? Those images get ingrained into your brain and replayed over and over, every single day, in your dreams and when you’re awake, when you think you’re safe and comfortable, when you’re about to lay down to rest at the end of the day. You close your eyes for a second too long and you see kids being held captive. You open your eyes as you wake up and you think you are still there, watching the person in front of you gasping for air and crying as they struggle to stay alive.

Luckily I was saved.

Despite the opinions people have on this organisation, I have never thought about running away. I am happy here. I have my own bed and enough food to keep my stomach full. I have people to talk to when I start feeling lonely, even though I am not supposed to consider them as friends or family. We all have code names, so I don’t know what any of their real names are. I don’t think we are meant to know that anyway.

Sometimes when Danzō lets me, I spend the day with the younger members and show them my skills, what I can do. They are usually impressed and tell me how they have never seen anything like it before. It makes me feel special. Important.

I have heard stories of only one other ninja with the same skill. He was the First Hokage, the first leader of the village I now serve and protect to my best ability. To know I have the same ability as Konoha’s first ever Kage makes me feel honoured, yet slightly confused. How did I, a child not even distantly related to The First, get this ability?

My skills are getting better by the day as Danzō trains me. I am able to grow a small forest now, strong roots and branches full of leaves. The past few months I have been training with him have been amazing. I never knew I had abilities like this, or that I could improve so quickly. He is very proud of me. He says my abilities will evolve in the next few months and then I will be able to join my older teammates on more important missions.

When we are sent on missions, we wear black cloaks and masks to hide our faces. This is due to the fact that we are a secret organisation and protecting our identities is a priority. Outside of the members, no one is allowed to know about what we are a part of, who runs it, nothing. We are hidden. Underground.

Everyone’s mask is slightly different. They all have a white base often resembling an animal of some kind, along with different coloured markings to make them all unique. Mine is a mask with pointy ears which make it look like a cat, finished with red and green markings. Around my eyes, red crescent moons. Above and below them, dark green stripes.

Having a mask makes me feel like part of the group, like I belong. Like I have a purpose, a second chance at life. It’s almost enough to make me forget about every other memory I have from before. Almost.

Not only does my mask hide my identity from others, it hides the emotions I am meant to suppress.

Being part of this organisation means letting go of emotions, of my softness and my kindness, the core of what I thought I was. These are not qualities of someone strong enough to serve a village, but those of someone who is a disappointment and is destined to only observe from the sidelines, unable to serve or help.

The mask makes me Kinoe. It makes me who I am now, not who I was before. It takes away all my trauma, my sadness, my pain. It frees me from my past and gives me another chance at life. My only purpose in life is to be Kinoe, to serve Danzō and Konoha.

The mask keeps me safe.

[heartachebf]

the stars of you | 655

short, potentially pretentious musings on craig and tweek, from craig's perspective | cross posted on ao3, found here

-

when craig can’t sleep, he counts tweek’s freckles.

he thinks the highest he’s ever gotten before he lost count was 112. it’s more than a little impossible to count all of the freckles, because tweek’s covered in them. most lay across his cheeks, nose, and shoulders, but he’s got them on just about every part of his body. what makes it even harder to properly count each of the spots is tweek's incessant twitching. it used to be much worse when they were children, but it never did quite die down all the way. not that craig's really complaining - he always found it weirdly endearing.

even if it does get in the way of his counting.

most of the time, craig doesn't get the pleasure of counting them while tweek is asleep. it makes it much easier when he is, the twitching and jerking dying down when hes unconscious. instead, tweek tends to be wide awake, too, arms tight around craig's waist and eyes shut as he tries to focus on the calm in their bedroom. he'll rub low on craig’s back in small circles, the way that makes craig feel warm and relaxed and positively sleepy. and tweek, the affectionate bastard he is, will sing softly to lull craig into sleep, completely ignoring craig's quiet protests of i want to see how high i can get this time. the universe decides to grant craig some luck on occasion, though, because some nights tweek will be out like a light, allowing craig to count until he can't keep his eyes open either.

(craig's always especially grateful for those nights. he always did prefer to stay awake until he's sure tweek is getting at least a moment of shut eye.)

when the counting can’t seem to do the trick, craig will trace patterns between the dots along his partner’s body. the patterns are usually mindless, simply meant to just lull himself to sleep with the added bonus of calming tweek down enough to get him to sleep, as well. though occasionally, when his mind isn’t quite fuzzy along the edges with tiredness yet, craig will trace the patterns of different constellations between the stars on tweek’s skin. he’ll whisper the name of each pattern into the blonde mess of curls by his face, mostly to himself, but he knows tweek enjoys hearing the names of the patterns drawn onto his skin for himself. eventually his mouth and fingers will become heavy and clumsy with sleep, and he’ll find himself falling asleep in the middle of a pattern.

(tweek always longs for those nights, tries to stay awake long enough for the counting to turn into tracing. he revels under the quiet affection, loves feeling as beautiful as the stars.)

craig doesn’t usually struggle with sleep, though, almost always falling asleep the moment his head hits his pillow, so he doesn’t generally have an excuse to count the freckles he loves dearly. he supposes he doesn’t quite need an excuse, though. he’s encouraged to count them, he’s noticed, as tweek will lean into him as he does, practically purring under all of the attention. and, well, who is craig to deny himself the simple pleasure of watching his boyfriend feeling so outwardly satisfied? plus, he finds the whole experience much more enjoyable when he’s alert, likes being able to observe every detail of tweek without having the fuzziness of exhaustion clouding his mind. he likes it more when tweek is more alert, too, likes the way his partner’s awake mind makes him blush and squirm and lean into craig’s hand as they trace painstakingly along each spot.

it’s the little things in life, craig thinks, that matter. it’s the little things that make life living, that make his heart swell too large for his chest. and, well, he’s certain that the most important little thing is those moments of counting that he shares with his love.

[heartachebf]

omg, wouldja look at that, its tommy, back at it again with the south park ficlets ! this time, i come bearing a self indulgent style fic, ft nonbinary stan using they/them pronouns, stan wearing eyeliner, and plenty of domestic vibes. i hope u all enjoy ♥

ps! im still taking requests for short drabbles in this same sorta style (i prefer style, bunny, or creek requests, but i can get down with some friendship shenanigans ^_^), so if youve got something youd like in mind, send in your request here! now, onto the ficlet!

“quit squirming,” kyle says softly, fingers grasping at stan’s chin firmly to keep them still. his voice is just as firm, though there is a certain fondness clear in his tone.

stan is sitting on the closed toilet seat, eyes scrunched closed as kyle leans over them and holds an eyeliner pencil to their eyes. they always hate this part. they make kyle do it for a reason - stan’s hands start shaking too much the closer they get to their eyes with the pencil, and they’re deathly afraid of accidentally poking their eye out. they know they could go without the eyeliner all together, but they like the way it makes them look, so make their boyfriend do it for them it is.

“i’m not squirming,” stan says, squirming in their place. the hand is pulled away from their face, and when stans open their eyes, they see kyle standing with a hand on his hip and his head tilted. stan laughs. “okay, maybe i was squirming!”

kyle huffs out a soft laugh, leaning down to kissing stan softly. “the more you keep squirming around, the longer this takes, dude,” he says quietly, reaching up to gently brush stan’s hair out of their face.

“i know,” stan groans. they take a deep breath in through their nose, closing their hands into fists on their lap and shutting their eyes. “okay, i got this. go ahead, babe.”

kyle snorts, bringing his hand back to gently hold stan’s chin still. “you so got this,” he says teasingly. stan decides not to dignify him with a response, simply sticking their tongue out at their boyfriend. kyle laughs again before bringing the eyeliner pencil down to stan’s eyes. stan immediately squeezes their eyes shut before he can even reach. “babe?” kyle asks.

“yes?”

“stop squeezing your eyes so tight. i can’t get to your eyes when you do that.”

stan hesitates for a moment before opening their eyes just enough so that their eyes aren’t so tightly shut. “better?”

“much better,” kyle says, voice barely above a whisper. he slowly starts tracing stan’s eyes with the black pencil, stan holding their breath to keep from messing up kyle’s handiwork and kyle moving stan’s jaw as he works in order to get better angles at their face. after what feels like hours of forcing themself to stay still, kyle finally pulls away and speaks up. “there. open your eyes?”

stan opens their eyes, blinking owlishly up at kyle. “what do you think?”

kyle smiles so big and wide that it makes stan’s heart beat a little harder and makes their cheeks flush a little with affection. “you look so handsome,” kyle says fondly, leaning down to kiss stan sweetly. stan laughs bashfully against his mouth, reaching up to wrap their arms around his neck.

when stan pulls away, they smile impishly and tilt their head. “your turn?”

kyle laughs and shakes his head. “oh hell no. i don’t trust you with sharp objects near my eyes, dude!”

stan laughs at that until they’re wheezing from it, lightly shoving at kyle’s chest. “aw, c’mon, i bet you’d look great!”

kyle snorts and rolls his eyes good naturedly, leaning down to wrap his arms around stan’s waist, straightening up to lift stan off the toilet seat and momentarily lifting them off the floor entirely before setting them down on their feet. “yeah, i’d look great with my eyes poked out.”

stan laughs a little more at that, rolling their eyes and taking the eyeliner pencil from kyle’s hand. “you’re so boring! one day i’ll get you to wear makeup, i promise,” they say with a playful smile, depositing the pencil with the rest of the different little makeup products they’ve amassed over the years. their collection is quite small as they don’t use makeup often enough to warrant spending a lot of money on product, but they have just enough for the days where they decide to experiment with their appearance a little.

kyle laughs and starts to exit the bathroom, though not without a sharp poke to stan’s side that makes them yelp and jump away. “keep telling yourself that, babe!” stan simply rolls their eyes fondly in response before trailing after their boyfriend.

[heartachebf]

@songofassandfire said: Okay uhhh maybe after the broship breakup in the vaccination special, Kenny gets fed up and exhausted with being sort of passed around between his friends, and ends up finding comfort in butters? Sorry if that’s too vague mgddngdng

i hope u like it, dude! not my best work, but im pretty satisfied with this :) i wrote this with them as teenagers in mind because, well, i write what i know most of the time, and i remember being in high school better than i remember being in fourth grade jhfdajk

im still taking short bunny, creek, or style drabble requests to help me get back into writing! feel free to send any requests youve got in mind here <3 now, onto the ficlet !

while butters is doing homework in his room, on his belly on his bed with his chin resting in his palm, he gets a sudden notification on his phone, a loud buzz startling him out of his homework induced reverie. he frowns at the distraction from the math problem he was struggling through, though he is partially grateful to have an excuse to look away from all the angry numbers and letters on his paper. he sits up, grabs his phone, and unlocks it eagerly.

from: ken ♥ hey can i come over for a bit? i need to get away from my friends lol

butters frowns at the message, types out a quick response of sure, i’m up in my room, before returning to laying on his stomach and staring at his homework, as if looking at it hard enough will magically solve all of the problems for him. he quickly finds himself drifting off, though, thinking about his boyfriend’s current predicament with their mutual friends. he doesn’t know much about the whole issue with them - he only knows bits and pieces from what kenny has been willing to divulge during their nightly phone calls, but from what he does know, it sounds messy. he knows that kenny’s three friends have split up for reasons unknown to him, and have thus taken to toting kenny between them like a divorced couple slinging a child between them. butters grimaces. it must be a nightmare to be treated like that.

while he’s lost in his thoughts, he’s suddenly shocked by a body bouncing on his bed next to him. butters is just about to scream when a familiar, calloused hand is shoved over his mouth. he finally looks up to see who’s in his bedroom, smiling wide under the palm on his mouth when he sees his boyfriend. kenny smiles wide back at him, his normal crooked and charming smile making butters feel warm and gooey inside.

as soon as kenny moves his hand, butters leaps up, throwing his arms around kenny’s neck. “hi, ken!” butters says eagerly, smiling even bigger when he feels kenny’s strong arms loop around his waist.

“hi, buttercup!” kenny responds, trying to sound just as eager, but it’s clear to butters just how exhausted he is.

butters pulls away a bit so he can look at kenny’s face now, taking in his tired expression with a frown. “what’s going on, cupcake?” he asks, gently brushing kenny’s messy bangs out of his face.

kenny lets out a long suffering sigh, leaning into butters’s hands. “my friends are driving me insane. i’m so sick of them treating me like their kid. as if i’m not as mature as the rest of them. y’know, i might even be more mature than them.”

butters nods understandingly, moving to sit cross legged next to kenny. “i know what you mean, honey. have you tried talking to them about how you feel about the arrangement lately?”

kenny groans, leaning forward to plop his head on butters’s shoulder. “i keep trying to talk to them, but every time i bring up the situation to any of them, they immediately just shut down and try and change the subject. i think i almost got stan to crack and listen to me once, but they’re all just.. ugh. i’m so close to just dropping all three of them until they all get their shit together.”

butters nods along as kenny speaks, gently running his fingers through his boyfriend’s sandy curls. “i think you should,” butters says softly, encouragingly. “maybe what they need is for you to leave them in order to kick their butts into gear! they’re bein’ pretty dumb with this whole thing, i think.”

“god, tell me about it!” kenny says, laughing bitterly. he reaches up to rub at his face tiredly. “they’re such dumbasses.”

butters laughs softly and nods in agreement. “definitely. i think they just need a little push to realize that they’re, like... you guys are like platonic soulmates! i think, um, taking a break from each other is good for them, but they’re going about it the wrong way.”

kenny huffs out a breath and nods before pulling away to look at butters. “how’d you get to be so smart, babe?”

butters lets out a small noise of surprise. “who, me?”

kenny laughs and nods, smiling wide before leaning forward to kiss butters softly. “yes, you! i never really thought of us as soulmates before, but that makes a ton of sense. i’m gonna tell ‘em to piss off until they get their shit together, i’m sick of being toted around like a little kid!”

butters smiles wide and toothy, gently cupping kenny’s face in his hands. “that’s a buddy! i think it’ll be really good for you to get away from them, cupcake!”

kenny smiles just as wide back, leaning in to kiss him softly again. “me too, babe. it’ll be fun to hang out with other people for once. maybe i’ll get into less chaos without those guys around.”

butters giggles and nods, reaching to grab kenny’s hands and squeezing them lightly. “yeah! i’ve been sitting with craig and his friends lately, you should join us! they’re a lotta fun, and they don’t start as much drama.”

“god knows i could use some of the peace that they bring,” kenny says, interlocking his fingers with butters’s, squeezing his hands mindlessly.

“feel a little better now?” butters asks after a moment, tilting his head. when kenny nods, he continues, “great! now, how about you help me with my math homework? algebra always makes my head spin...”