Congrats on 300+ followers. It's a great feeling. Can I please request a Chidi x Eleanor fic were they help each other through a traumatic time (maybe a loss of someone)? Still a huge fan of your blog xx
“Eleanor, you heard what the doctors said, we need to go home.”
“Do whatever you want, man,” Eleanor stubbornly crossed her arms and turned away from him in her seat. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Eleanor,” Chidi sighed. He rubbed his temples and tried again. “I know you’re worried. I am, too. But it’s best that we go home and get some rest before the doctors give the all clear for tomorrow.”
Eleanor stared at him, dark rings cast under his eyes. How could he be so willing to leave when their baby was sick, with a bunch of doctors they didn’t even know? She was almost angry at him for being so calm, for pretending to be so calm. Just a few hours ago, she was the one reassuring him. He was pacing around the waiting room, punching different buttons on the vending machine, waffling between which snack to choose while they waited for news from the doctors. A3, no, B3, no, D4.
His lips were shaking and his hands trembled and even though Eleanor was lost in a daze, she knew right then she had to snap out of it and pay attention. Chidi had worked through his anxiety the past few years, but it was stressful situations that woke his dormant worries. She hated seeing him so stressed out when he hadn’t done anything wrong- his little face all contorted, his body curled from fatigue.
“Chidi, don’t worry, you don’t have to decide,” She whispered as she slid her hands onto his cheeks. “I have some unsalted almonds in his purse.”
“Are you sure I shouldn’t just buy a snack?” Chidi asked, sinking his fingers into Eleanor’s waist to steady himself. Eleanor melted at his sincerity. “I mean, I haven’t bought any food in a long time, and I’m concerned I’m not helping by not putting enough money into the econom-”
“Hey, you’re helping everyone just fine, okay?” Eleanor soothed. She stood on her toes and kissed him softly on the nose. “Now come on, now. Sit. I’ll buy you a warm glass of milk from the cafeteria.”
Chidi was too exhausted to refute her reassurance. Weakly, he bobbed his head and slipped his hand in hers. She led him to the elevator and down to the cafeteria. She bought him a warm milk with the crumpled dollar bill she had shoved in her jean pocket two days before- the change for Chidi’s stomach medication she had received from the pharmacist cashier. He drank his warm milk on the sterile, white tables while their knees touched, taking a minute between sips to stare blankly into space and eat some of his almonds. He always ate so carefully, thoroughly wiping his fingers on the napkin Eleanor had taken from the dispenser near the cash register. With each bite, he seemed calmer, less neurotic, more rational.
And now he apparently thought he was more rational than her, even though they had both stayed up in the waiting room all night waiting for news about the treatment of their son. But Chidi was trying to take care of her, just as they always did with each other, and the least she could do, to make both of their lives easier, was to go along with him. Begrudgingly, she knew he was right. Waiting and worrying wasn’t going to solve anything. Nothing was up to their control.
And that scared her more than she expected.
“Fine,” Eleanor huffed and grabbed her purse from the chair. “But you’re driving.”
Eleanor fidgeted with their car freshener as she and Chidi climbed in. She was doing her best not to break down- it was the lack of sleep and the yelling at Chidi in the emergency room and the smell of nothing in the hospital room and the moments before they left for the hospital watching her baby Jonathan in her arms, vomiting over and over again.
Eleanor turned the freshener over in her fingers. The smell of diamonds in a rainstorm. Leave it to Tahani to somehow give them the most expensive air freshener.
“All buckled in?” Chidi asked as he looked over at Eleanor, keys already in the ignition. Eleanor only half-heard him. She kept turning the air freshener around in her fingers.
“Are you going to leave me?” Eleanor burst. Oh no. It was coming out. She was so vulnerable right now and she hated it.
“What?” Dawn light was seeping through the car windows, and Chidi’s face fell so gently under it.
“My parents got divorced,” Eleanor shrugged as if it meant nothing, even though it meant everything. Her heart was heavy with how much it meant everything. “And couples rarely stay together after the death of a child. So I’m just wondering, you know, if you’ll leave me in case anything happens.”
“Eleanor,” Chidi reached over to brush the greasy hair from her forehead, tucking it behind each of her ears. “I’d never leave you. I mean, sure, you can drive me crazy, but I love you too much. I’d be lost without you. And hey,” He leaned in closer to her and lowered his voice. Even though her eyes were welling, Eleanor forced herself to meet his eyes. He was so kind and patient and gentle in his gaze, so careful with his words. Eleanor didn’t deserve him. “It’s not your fault Jonathan got sick. You did everything you could. You’re an amazing mom.”
“I-I- wasn’t worried about that,” Eleanor claimed, but her words came out as a croak as she began to blubber. Quickly, Chidi pulled her in and ran his fingers through her hair. Eleanor sobbed into the warmth of her husband’s shoulder, digging her hands into his back.
“Sorry,” She laughed and wiped the corner of her eyes. “I just get weirdly emotional over you two weirdos, that’s all.”
“Hey,” Chidi smiled shakily. “It’s okay. I’m scared too.” He pressed his lips to Eleanor’s forehead, then her lips. Eleanor deepened the kiss, wrapping her arms around her husband’s neck. They both smiled at each other after, Eleanor’s hands sliding down Chidi’s chest.
“Hey, what do you say we go to the grocery store and get some cocktail shrimp at 8 in the morning,” Chidi proposed with a wiggle of the eyebrows. “We can eat it at home while watching a Kardashians marathon.”
“Sounds good, babe,” Eleanor grinned as she prepared herself for a tease. “Can we make Peeps with chili, too?”
Chidi groaned, and Eleanor laughed at the throaty sound. She kissed him again, and again, and even though they didn’t know how things would turn out, Eleanor knew that for the moment, with each other other, everything felt better.
Everything always felt better.
