#stanimal planet

[irokwashere]

I'm thinking about that Henri's web ask I sent PCE the other day and keep cackling

Because like- imagine one of the Spider's names is Craig, and like

Kyle: that's you in another universe

Craig:

Craig: why...?

Stan: yeah.

Craig: I ASKED WHY NOT YES OR NO

Stan: Y E S

[pastorcraigenjoyer]

The idea of Cartman breaking his own restraining order against Kyle because he gets bored with no one to fuck with is so stupidly hysterical to me

[irokwashere]

*whistles and drops this off here* First one in the queue line

[pastorcraigenjoyer]

I know I said hypothermia Stan in the past, but hear me out. Early days of Stanimal Planet, Stan would actually go out in the field environment, shoot footage out in actual animal habitats. Stay with me here; they finish up shooting an episode in the arctic, Stan catches sight of a baby penguin or something caught in ice, he goes to help in- Kyle rushes in after him, he's like "STAN NO THE ICE MIGHT BE UNSTABLE" and it's KYLE who falls through instead of Stan

And it's because of that experience alone, Stan starts just doing it at their facility because he CANNOT let KYLE get hurt out there in the world again, because the GUILT OF IT ALL - Irok

GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE!!! GOOOOOOD SHIT!!!

I always love me a good hurt Kyle / guilty Stan, and that’s a DELECTABLE SCENARIO!!! Call me McDonald’s bc IM LOVIN IT!!!

Poor Stan blaming himself so hard oh my god

[pastorcraigenjoyer]

Aight the hoemies can have a snippet before I go into work. God I love style

[pastorcraigenjoyer]

Stanimal Planet Kyle BEGGING for Stan to just let the professional teams handle the rescues in the field while they tend to the ones at home base… and then the Bumpy incident happens and he’s just going GREY before even remotely hitting the middle age FR.

Knees: in chronic pain

Heart: pounding constantly

Hair: losing red and gaining grey day by day

Stan: OH LOOK AN OSTRICH-

Kyle: THAT COULD PROBABLY KILL YOU PLEASE STAY ON THIS SIDE OF THE FENCE I AM ACTUALLY BEGGING YOU STANIEL MARSHWALKER THE FIRST

- Irok

I am actually and so fr constantly living for how accurate that is (I swear one day I’ll write the Bumpy Incident bro)

[pastorcraigenjoyer]

Thinking about the recovery time after the Bumpy incident of Stanimal planet and Cartman making a “croc snacc” joke and Kyle going absolutely feral about it

How many crew members does it take to keep Kyle from drop kicking Cartman into the sun, the world may never know

Man Cartman went OFF with that shit, his podcast was FOCUSED on Stan’s run in with a crocodile. Kyle actually earned himself a restraining order (Cartman broke it bc he got bored) for pummeling him. Like, this short, bony, vicious little ginger came for BLOOD and by god he’s not letting up until Cartman apologizes for being a dick. Stan, laid up in bed exhausted from pt that day, heat pack on his shoulder ice on his wounds, sore as fuck, Kyle coming home and Stan just like “baby you have GOT to let it go”

Cartman’s “reality show review” podcast gets very familiar with Kyle’s angry spouse mode

[pastorcraigenjoyer]

Imagine the mini strokes Kyle has after the Bumpy incident tho any time an episode is about to start and it’s one of the more dangerous animals and how Stan would be like

“Don’t worry babe we got the ten feet rule now it’s ok”

EXACTLY!!! Poor Kyle tho that show is turning his hair prematurely grey

“Stan I am BEGGING you not to pet that snow leopard I know you want to but it WILL try to bite your face off and I happen to like your face.”

“Ha, that’s gay, dude.”

“Well then I have some news about both of us.”