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The fates already fucked me side ways, swinging by my neck from the family tree.

#lyrics #ethel cain #family tree intro #star spit

Don't want closure.

I'll stitch myself up alone.

Prickly. Fuck, he felt so prickly. Even in the most comfortable hoodie he owned Katsuki wanted to crawl out of his skin. Rip it off.

He pressed a warm palm to the clammy skin of his neck, not present in the garbled muffled conversation around him. Or was it conversations? The blonde couldn't quite focus enough to tell. Not until the repetition of his name pulled his eyes to focus on red irises nearly equal to his, but something warm and bright differed.

Eijirou's worried gaze came into focus before his soft smile reeled Katsuki back to the present. Just barely, enough to grasp what words the red head was saying. "Wanna get out of here, 'Suki?'' Only Eijirou was fluent enough in Kats to catch the gentle nod of blonde before he rises from the couch, mumbling out a short goodnight.

Before the gang can pounce on him in a series of complaints and goodbyes, Eijirou's up by Katsuki's side bidding them a goodnight as well. "There are things I've got to do tomorrow." he waits for Kats to slip out during the distraction.

Eijirou finds the blonde already in the passenger seat of his car, looking as if he wanted to sink into the oversized red hood. He recognized the pullover as one that was once his, Katsuki having stolen it years ago when they had still been in the realm of friendship. Back when Katsuki was still frightened of feeling the happiness his best friend brought him, pushing himself into denials.

They no longer danced around each other as they once had. No label, or special exchange of words had happened between them for this shift. It was comfortable and they saw no need for any changes yet. Eijirou knew how to take it slow if that's what Katsuki needed.

"You're room or mine?" The redhead asked as he shut his door, turning the engine over once Katsuki handed him the keys.

"Yours." His voice was distant, distracted. Eijirou noticed this inside, though he could tell Katsuki was noticeably less anxious now.

Eijirou put the car into gear, backing out and shifting once more before slipping his hand across the middle space to take a sweaty, but soft and powerful hand into his own. Katsuki on instinct tugged before Eijirou gave two gentle squeezes while his thumb traced his knuckles. He was reminded of who was holding his hand, calming. He couldn't hurt Eijirou, his instincts were fast enough to stop a bullet. Kats nervous explosions were nothing.

Maybe it was because he couldn't grasp what he was feeling, but Katsuki held firm on Eijirou. If it were anyone else it might've been too tight. Eijirou saw it as a confirmation though. Katsuki was reeling, but he was trying. That's all that mattered to him.

Eijirou was a safe driver, but he pushed the speed limit tonight, he could tell. Getting Katsuki comfortable and safe is all that mattered to him. His best friend felt really off and all he knew was he needed to be there for him.

They got to their apartment in record time, but to Katsuki it felt like hours. His body felt heavy, sluggish. The only thing keeping him tethered, focused on a goal, was Eijirou's hand, who'd taken his once again on the way up and not let go until Katsuki was sitting on his roommate's bed.

Katsuki removed his shoes and hoodie as Eijirou went to his dresser to return with a faded, clearly loved band tee and Crimson Riot sweats. Clothes set aside, Eijirou's hands, full of strength, were gentle as he picked up the hem of Katsuki's shirt and lifted the shirt, slowly… slowly as knuckles brushed flushed skin on the way off. As he escapes the fabric pressure in the form of a palm on his chest carefully presses him back into the cool sheets. It's intimate in a way, a strange domestic vibe that's very them as Eijirou works to gets Katsuki's jeans off him, both of them huffing in amusement when there's difficulty getting the fabric down his muscular thighs. But once it's done and Katsuki sits back up, his arms raise to awaiting Eijirou's redressing.

Once upon a time in his past this might've felt terribly childish and to be fairly honest, it still does. He feels vulnerable and young again when Eijirou takes care of him the way he does. Once, he might have thought the big brute of a puppy pitied him, thought he was weak and pathetic, but after years of never giving Katsuki's defensive insults any fire, never feeding into his doubts and only ever being there for him, the real Katsuki blossomed for Eijirou. A flower no one gave enough attention to. They could never look past the sharp thorns and see there was so much more behind all that harsh facade. Because it was that, a facade, walls of defense keeping everyone at arms length. Eijirou Kirishima's relentless and unabashed love slowly and surely softened Katsuki Bakugou until he was convinced he would be nothing without his best friend to have his back, hold his hand if he needed.

Eijirou finished helping Kats dress and doesn't miss the sound he swallowed back when Ei left the bedside again. "I gotta get my jammies too, babe."

Kats groan sounds more like a whine, but he could care less at the moment as Eijirou's laugh fills his heart.

"Oh gods. Please, stop calling them that!" Eijirou watches as he flops back onto his bed, awaiting his best friend's return with a frown. (Eijirou says it's more like a pout.)

#aster's✮#star spit #fanfic wip #poprocks

I miss you

I wasn't even yours

and you were never mine

thoughts hold me

whispers of a love

that will never exist

— A.w.S.

#brain vomit #unrequited affection #lost thoughts #poem #poetry #flamepost #star spit