➜ EVENT: star bright casting ➜ LOCATION: park hyatt hotel - interview room ➜ DATE: sunday 28th 2020
this is dumb. completely and utterly stupid. why did he have to go and let songhee convince him to go to this thing? he’s not cut out for being an idol, he can barely handle people online acting like ‘fans’ of his just because he does tiktoks. he had no performing talents, so he’s just going to make a fool out of himself. at least it’s only an interview, he thinks. he likely won’t make it through to the next round, since he’s got no performing experience like he’s sure a lot of the other people auditioning have.
do it for the free lunch, eric, he tell himself as he fills out the form, then waits for his name to be called, regularly wiping his clammy palms on his thighs. he’s sitting hunched over his seat, unconsciously trying to make himself as small as possible. he feels like everyone around him can tell just by looking at him that he doesn’t belong here. he’s no singer, no dancer, no rapper - he’s just funny! funny doesn’t make you an idol.
but, it’s too late to back out when they call his name and he hesitantly makes his way into the interview room, handing over his form and positioning himself opposite the person he assumes is the interviewer standing beside a camera. he’s used to cameras at least, though usually he’s being filmed on his own phone, and not an intimidating looking camera and microphone setup.
he’s told to introduce himself, and after a moments hesitation, he looks at the camera and smiles. “i’m sohn youngjae, but everyone calls me eric. i was born in la, in america, i’m 19, and i’m currently a composition student at korea national university of arts. i’m also... a barista, a pizza delivery guy and a 7 eleven employee. busy bee, that’s me!” at least he manages to relax while talking, though he’s still worried they’re going to ask him to sing or something.
“alright eric, nice to meet you. i’m going to ask you a few questions now.” eric nods, his smile though forced and slightly nervous, remains on his lips.
“okay eric, firstly, why do you want to be an idol?”
dammit. how is he meant to answer this question when he doesn’t want to be an idol? sure, it sounds amazing, singing and dancing on a stage and wearing fun outfits and meeting people who love you for doing something as enjoyable as singing and dancing, but could eric do that? he’s pretty sure that’s an absolutely not. “uh...” his brains whirring, trying to think of an answer that isn’t too much of a lie. “i... i really like dancing. i’ve always liked dancing, and singing - actually when i was a kid my dad got me a toy karaoke machine for christmas once and i did holiday shows for my mum at every little holiday there was, just because it was fun. i suppose being an idol would be way more difficult than singing livin’ la vida loca on a toy karaoke machine in your living room for your mum, but i think it would be worth the hard work.” he pauses, realising he’s sort of strayed from the initial question, and clears his throat with an embarrassed half-smile. “i do dance cover videos on tiktok, actually, and a lot of people seem to like those, and whenever someone tells me they really enjoy my dance videos, it feels... well it feels better than... anything else i think. it’d probably be one hundred times better to hear thousands of people say it about a proper performance, like on a stage.” his answer seems, to him, to suck, but how is he meant to tell someone why he wants to be an idol, when he doesn’t want to be an idol?
“so, singing and dancing are your best skills, are they? do you have any other talents?”
“oh boy, i wouldn’t say singing is a talent of mine. those karaoke shows weren’t at all worth the cookie my mum would pay me for attending them!” he jokes, laughing and relaxing a little, getting used to the situation a little more. “i’d say i’m best at dancing. my tiktok followers seem to like my dancing, so i mustn’t be that bad, right?” again, he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck a little awkwardly this time, realising that this poor woman probably had no idea what tiktok is. “as for other talents, i can actually sing the elements song my tom lehrer and the nations of the world song, both in full without a single mistake!” he exclaims proudly, only to realise the interviewer probably doesn’t know those songs either. “well, i can sew, knit and crochet! those are some fun skills! and juggling!”
“on your form you put that your biggest influences are mostly girl groups. isn’t that a little strange for a boy?”
“oh, i don’t think so at all!” he responds quickly. “i think girl groups are more marketed towards guys anyway. but music is for everyone, no matter who’s singing it! i like the style of girl group songs more, and i think it’s fun to challenge expectations. so if someone expects me to do a boy group dance, and i do a girl group dance, and i do it well, it’s fun to see the surprise on their face. i do know a few boy group dances, and there’s a lot more power in them than girl group dances, but i like how much emotion goes into girl group songs, which is why i like them a lot more and like to learn the choreo to them.”
“what would you say is the biggest obstacle you’ve have to overcome?”
eric’s lips purse as he thinks over the question. “i... grew up very poor. a lot of the time there wasn’t a whole lot of food, or a very healthy variety of food in my house. i also never wore new clothes, only second hand clothes from goodwill, and, well, children can be mean when you’re different. not only was i an asian boy growing up in a predominantly white area, but i was also far worse off money wise than many of my classmates. i suffered a bit of bullying, but i suppose it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. other than that, moving to a new country as a young teen and having to learn a new language and make new friends was hard.”
“could you tell us a little bit about your family? has your home situation much improved since then?”
the questions about home life and family life aren’t eric’s favourite - it isn’t a topic he’s too open about, thanks to his mum’s problems. but he can sugar coat it, he’s got a lot of practise doing that. “my family was mainly just me and my mum growing up. she didn’t have a very well paying job, but she’s doing better now. my dad wasn’t around a lot as he worked in korea when i was young and growing up in la. things were definitely better when he lived in la as well for a while, but he and my mum weren’t married, so they didn’t like together so i sort of... have a split life. time spent with him i never really had to worry about how much anything cost, but with my mum i really did. i got my first job at thirteen because of it. my family’s not very close, i have a couple cousins, but i didn’t meet them until i moved to seoul, and i don’t see a lot of them often.”
“you said you have three jobs, all while being a student as well. how do you think this impacts your everyday life and overall ambitions?”
“i started working very young. i was a paperboy, so a simple job really, but it helped a little. then i was a milk delivery boy when i moved to seoul, a similarly simple job, and they never took up much of my time. now i have three jobs and as you can imagine they take up a lot of my time, but i have them scheduled around my school hours, so it isn’t too bad. i don’t think much about how they impact my ambitions really, since i don’t have a choice in doing them - if i want to pay rent i have to work. i have some free time here and there though, so i use that time to learn new things and do the things i enjoy, and hopefully when i graduate i can find a better paying job and have more time for the things i enjoy.” he realises too late that ambitions probably meant ‘dream to be an idol’. oh well.
“so, if you weren’t trying to be an idol, what do you think you’d be doing?”
“probably exactly what i’m doing now.” he’s probably the only person who’s putting absolutely no free time into this ‘endeavour into being an idol’, since he never even thought about it as a career. he’d love to be an idol, but he simply doesn’t have the skills needed, and he isn’t delusional enough to think he does. with more practise and dance or vocal lessons maybe he’d have potential, but he doesn’t have the time nor money for those. “focusing on school, and trying hard to pay my way through it.”
“thank you, eric, that’s all. do you have any questions before we finish up?”
“uh... no, i don’t think i do.” he says, sounding unsure. he’s ready to leave and go and get that free lunch songhee owes him for this awful ordeal. he just hopes she gets something out of this.
“alright, well, have a nice day.”
“you too!” he replies, then leaves the interview room, head past the other people waiting, and makes his way out of the building, intending to go and find a cafe nearby to wait for songhee in. as much as that felt like a big waste of time, at least i gave him some insight into what actually trying to be an idol might be like.
