Other ways of persuasion
So uhhh this is based around Epic the musical… Poseidon x Odysseus…
This was what I was peer pressured into. It was kinda collaborative thing between me and @dr-ground-zero. The insanity I went through while I wrote this was INSANE. I’m not like super proud of it but it’s the first like sneeze fic writing I’ve done in like over 5 years or something LMAO.
CONTENT WARNING - sneeze, mentions of spray (maybe mess), illness, one mention of injury.
Word Count - 2263
The waves lapped against the shores of Ithaca, home was finally in sight after a long 20 years of torment and sailing he was finally going to touch down on solid ground, fall into the arms of his wife, what more could he want? The closer he got however the swell began to grow, it was getting bumpier and his little raft was getting tossed left and right, something was beginning to rise. The water lumped up until the surface tension finally broke and Odysseus could feel his heart sink at the sight… Poseidon. The waves grew as his island was pushed further away from view, disappearing behind the dark clouds beginning to rise, this wasn’t supposed to happen, he had played the game and followed all the instructions to get home, this wasn’t supposed to happen! As Poseidon rose from the depths of the ocean Odysseus could feel every inch of life draining from him,
“There you are, coward,” the gravel in his voice sounded like it had been scraped across the rocks surrounding Ithaca, it wasn’t his usual gravel though, there was something different, something off. As the waves grew in size, capsizing the little raft that had been barely keeping Odysseus afloat was now at the mercy of Poseidon’s tides, the only thing Odysseus could do was scramble up onto the rocks for safety as the Sea God’s shadow loomed over him before it shrunk down to just nearly taller than the human himself but the ever intimidating presence still felt overwhelming. Poseidon leered at him, pushing closer to him and forcing the waves to rise, smashing Odysseus against the rocks with a pained groan, barely stumbling back to his feet and looking at the God. The ever-stoic figure of Poseidon appeared rugged, rough-looking, off. There was a red rim around his nostrils, deep bags from his eyes, and the occasional flare of his nostrils as he approached Odysseus, a crackle from his breathing as he did. Slowly Odysseus began to piece things together but he was still in disbelief, the God’s could get sick? This was definitely something…
As Poseidon drew closer to the Greek there was an unease in his breath, a small quiver almost as his chest rose and fell with unease, the waves around them starting to swell and crash with uncontrol, splashing up onto the edge of the rock, catching Odysseus with light sea spray.
“You reehh really thought you cehh… heeeh- could hide?” The Sea God asked, his breath catching as he did, the hitches causing a light cough into his clenched fist, his nose wriggling and flaring as he pushed Odysseus up against the rocks face, unable to move any further back. For some reason he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of God's nose, watching how it twitched and scrunched up as he was clearly biting back the urge to sneeze, his face betraying him with his eyes becoming half-lidded, his chest rising and falling with more aggression.
“Hehhh… heh’ERRRSHHU!!” Poseidon’s head snapped off to the side, his teeth clenching down, barely just scraping the side of Odysseus’ face with the spray, the ocean’s wave crashing up against the rocks mixing with the spray from the sneeze. The Greek was frozen in place, unable to react at the sight before him, a God seemingly having fallen to the mercy of a feeble human ailment leaving him more on the level of the one he was fighting against.
Poseidon sniffled thickly as he regained composure, his nose still not seeming completely done yet however he ignored it, his head turning back to face Odysseus who was now seemingly rather quiet and almost nervous. This made the Sea God smirk as he watched Odysseus.
“Are you starting to realize the depth of your situation?” Poseidon loved the nervous look on the other’s face as he leaned in a little closer. Odysseus could practically feel the warmth of the God’s breath on his neck and face. He began to shake softly as he felt his face flush, starting to match the shade of his nose, which was still seeming to be twitching and sniffling as he awaited the response.
“What’s the matter? Heeehh How the hiihhh high and meehhh mighty King of Ithaca has fallen,” He growled softly as his breath began to hitch again. “Wheehhh wheres thahhh that.. Haaahhh… hah’ERRSSHHUU! Ah’IRRSSHHUUUH! Where’s thad quick wit now?” He asked, regaining his composure after barely moving his head away from Odysseus, the spray glistening down onto his chest and chin while the waves crashed, and waves started to wash over their feet with each sneeze. It was slowly becoming obvious that the all mighty God of the Sea was definitely falling down a level, he looked pathetic. The God was sniffling, vulnerable and looking like one strong wave would knock him over and back into the depths. This look on Poseidon made Odysseus have conflicted feelings, it would be so incredibly easy to escape now and make it back to his home.. However this situation was ever so intriguing, he’d been away for 20 years, and Ithaca could wait a little bit longer…
“Poseidon… please, it’s been ten long years, you surely still can’t be stuck on this, just let me make it home. You look like you’re a bit worse for wear yourself…” Odysseus finally managed to sputter out some words in response as he stood staring at Poseidon. He was hoping to get through this easily without having to fight his way out, although it didn’t look like it would be a very difficult fight with the condition his opponent was in. The God’s nose constantly twitched and scrunched as he snorted back his drippy nose, the swell beginning to rise up as his breath faltered again, scrunching his eyes shut before another wrenching sneeze ran through him with a shudder as it misted across Odysseus’ cheek again. Waves splashed over the two of them, soaking them to the skin, the Greek shivering lightly which could be disguised as a cold shiver from the freezing ocean which fell over the two.
While Poseidon was recovering from this one, still in desperation to sneeze the constant buzz flooding all through his sinuses as he sniffled back wetly, his spray and mess mixing with the seawater. Odysseus swiftly twisted around and brought God down onto the rocks, leaving him there vulnerable to anything the man wanted to do. The power dynamic completely flipped onto its back like Poseidon was at that moment. The God of the Sea lay on the rocks, waves washing over him and scrunching his nose up as he looked at Odysseus with a slight bleary look on his face, stuck in a limbo of needing to sneeze but it was not coming out, the sneeze seemingly stuck just on the tip of his nose, snorting again with a scrunch of his nose again. He really did look pathetic.
Odysseus wasn’t about to let this attempted attack slide however, as he picked up the golden trident lying on the rocks, pointing the three prongs towards the pathetic man as he lay on the rocks. The king of Ithica watched as the God realised the position he was in but still fighting, and losing, his own battle against the sneeze that was brewing up again, the storm raged on in the seas.
“You’ve lost” Odysseus said smirking, standing above the God and pointing the trident down towards him but he didn’t seem to react, much rather his eyes began fluttering shut, jaw going slack as two more sneezes wrecked through his whole body, shaking it as the sneezes ran through him. The oceans rose up as he did. Odysseus could feel his cheeks heating up from this, he needed to get himself under control, this was not the time! However… he was just a man.
Odysseus dragged the trident across Poseidon's cheek, this prompting a whimper of pain from the God before tossing it to the side and pressing their lips together in a moment of madness. Poseidon jumped in surprise as he felt the Greek lock lips with him, this was definitely not what he had thought was going to happen but strangely a warm feeling began to rise up inside of him as the two lay on the rocks kissing. This was until the waves started to swell again, a reminder of what was ailing the God.
“Heehhh O-Odysseus… ihhhh hiihhh… geehh goneeehhh.. Heh-! Heh’ERSSSHHHUH! Hah’IRRSSHHHUUHH! Heehhh… ahhhh.. AH’IRSSHIUEWW!” Poseidon hitched out a desperate attempt at a warning to the other man before the sneezes ran through his body. A shiver ran down his spine as Odysseus got drenched by the spray of them, hitting him square in the face as he needed to break away from the sudden kiss, this seemed to leave Odysseus blushing brighter but he was not phased at all even with the waves roaring around them. Rather he pushed their lips back together with a soft pant as he did so, dragging himself up further onto Poseidon’s lap.
“Oh how the mighty have fallen, poor Poseidon left defenceless over a mere case of the sniffles, unable to control his own waves~” Odysseus sat above Poseidon as his index finger dragged down the bridge of the God’s nose, causing it to scrunch up with a sharp hitch which was soon followed by-
“Heh’ERRSSHHUU! Get your heehhh hands of mbe you pathetic ehhhhxcuse of a Greek” Poseidon snarled at the man who was so neatly sat in his lap as the buzzing only swelled up more, leaving him hitching and gasping desperately, Odysseus letting his finger slide under the Gods quivering nose, forcing the tickle to stay in its place, his eyes starting to water as a few tears fell. The Greek simply tutted as he rubbed his finger back and forth along the God's nose, “Now now Poseidon, I doubt you want to be saying such things in your current… predicament” He replied, a smirk crossing his face.
It was true, Poseidon, God of the Sea, was now at the mercy of a mere human who he had been waiting for at his own island for 10 years only for him to come home at the worst possible time when said God was at his weakest. Odysseus let his finger slowly move away from Poseidon’s nose as a sharp inhale escaped him just before his nose was pinched shut, a whine escaping the God along with a shaky exhale.
“Why are you doidg this?” He managed to pant out as he looked blearily up at Odysseus.
“Isn’t ruthlessness mercy upon ourselves?” Odysseus smirked and leaned in close to Poseidon again, his eyes filled with lust as he pressed their lips together again, letting go of his nose and instead letting a hand run through his hair as Poseidon was too caught off guard by the different senses to react, his nose taking the forefront of this reaction however.
“Heeehh.. Ehhhh.. HEH-! ERSSSHHUU! Heh’IRSSSHUUHH!” The sneezes flew out of him without a moment to react, the spray hitting Odysseus square in the face but this didn’t bother him only making his face flush up before pressing their bodies together, one hand on Poseidon's chest to keep him pushed down on the rocks, the waves splashing up against them, the sea God still feeling the itch in his nose. Odysseus could see this and made sure to keep his hand close to his nose, not able to help himself but to rub at it and push his nose back to expose his nostrils a little bit more. They were flaring wildly and he let out a soft moan as he felt the sneezes be pushed to the forefront of his nose.
“Heh’ERRSSHHUUU! Ih’RIISSHHHHUUHHH! Geeehh heeehhh geh’IRSSSHHHUU!” The sneezes wrenched through his body, his large frame rattling with each one, the spray hitting Odysseus being both from the ocean and the sneezes from the Sea God with the help of the human messing with his nose as they only kept on coming, “heh’IRSSHHHUU! H-hHeh- hRSSSHHHuuhhww! hHGSSHHhww!”
Poseidon was starting to sound more exhausted as the sneezes flooded out of him, the storm still looming overhead but was slowly beginning to calm down, the exhaustion of everything starting to catch up with him and Odysseus knew this was going his way.
It didn’t take long before the shores were calm again, the waves nothing more than a few ripples and small waves that would lap up against the shores. Odysseus smiled in satisfaction as he looked over to where Poseidon was lying against the rocks, panting softly and looking exhausted. His nose was dripping slightly and looked even redder than at the beginning of their encounter, Odysseus caressed his cheek gently with his hand and hummed.
“There, we seemed to have calmed down a little bit huh?” Odysseus asked with a small smirk, tilting the other’s chin upwards so they were looking at each other.
“I knew we would see eye to eye on this” he hummed and pulled away, his boat just within reach so he was able to climb aboard. With a look of pity towards the God splayed across the rocks Odysseus ripped a bit off his sail, draping it on the edge of the rocks. “Good luck, do try not to flood absolutely everywhere~”
Poseidon stared at him as he sailed away towards his homeland, snorting as he slowly slunk back into the dark waters, taking the piece of sail with him and disappearing without another sign.