I'd like to share an assertive communication technique called DESC. here's how it goes:
D - Describe: What are the objective facts of the situation?
E - Explain: How does it make you feel, or why does it matter?
S - Specify: What changes are needed?
C - Consequences: What will be the outcome of said changes?
here's an example situation: Jelani is upset because Marleen keeps forgetting to do the laundry. The two have agreed that Marleen is responsible for getting it done while Jelani takes care of other chores.
D - Describe: "You have not been keeping up with the laundry lately."
E - Explain: "It makes me feel stressed and annoyed."
S - Specify: "I need you to make a reminder on your phone so that you remember to do the laundry."
C - Consequences: "This way, our clothes will be washed regularly and we won't have to put huge loads into the washer when the basket gets full."
this is a technique you can use to ground yourself / reconnect to the present or your surroundings. there are a few different ways you can do it!
look around for different colored objects in your surroundings and name them:
something red
something orange
something yellow
something green
something blue
something purple
2. pick any color, find objects in that color, and name them.
3. if the place you're at isn't particularly colorful, or if the lights are off, you can list different objects of a certain (or multiple) color(s) that you can think of!
a feeling wheel is a chart of different emotions that you can use to identify how you're feeling. sometimes, emotions are so strong and maybe even conflicting that it makes it confusing and difficult to tell what exactly is going on in your head.
personally, i find feeling wheels to be useful to me in communicating how i feel with my loved ones as a sort of starting point to say, "hey, this is what I'm feeling right now."
there are tons of them online with varying degrees of specificity, but here are a few templates:
hello! welcome to glimmering-hope. I make and reblog positivity, affirmation, and reminder posts for those struggling with mental health, but anyone is welcome. if I can help just one person, it'll be worth it.
asks are usually open! feel free to use that for questions, comments, feedback, suggestions, requests, etc. I do, however, ask that you do not send vents in my asks. I am also not the type who's good at giving advice to people I don't know.
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as for what to call me? i go by many names, but you can use my nickname, starlight! any pronouns (including neos).
tags:
#starlight says - all original posts
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R.A.I.N is a little activity for being mindful about how you feel. it stands for Recognize, Affirm, Investigate, and Nurture.
Recognize — Name your emotion. A feelings wheel may help you do this if you find it difficult.
Affirm — Without judgement, accept this feeling; tell yourself it is okay to feel how you feel.
Investigate — Try to think about why you feel this way.
Nurture — What can you do to cope? Maybe something like asking for help, setting a boundary, having some time alone to recharge, or doing something that you like to do.
sometimes anxiety tells us lies based on the assumptions of how others feel. it may help to take a step back and remind yourself that you can't know how someone feels unless they directly tell you.
something you could try is to list as many possible scenarios that don't have to do with you that you can think of. for an example, maybe someone you're messaging sent a dry text and you assume they're disinterested or angry with you. but maybe they've just had a long day, are feeling ill, are busy with chores or other work, or maybe they just don't have much energy at the moment.
and remember—it never hurts to ask. checking in with those you love, even if it may seem silly, can go a long way. so maybe what you need to keep yourself from freaking out is to ask, "hey, are you doing alright?" I'm sure it'll be much appreciated.
here's a list of grounding techniques that i found, which i think could be helpful for some ^^
Mental Distraction Techniques
Pick a category of objects and try to think of as many objects as possible that fit within that category (e.g., types of dogs, cities, types of trees, crayon colors, sports)
Pick a letter and think of emotionally positive or neutral words that begin with that letter
Pick a color and look for things of that color. Notice differences in their exact shades
Read something technical or meant for children or read words backwards to focus on the process of reading and not the words
Watch a children's television show or movie or watch cute or funny videos on Youtube; it might help to have a playlist already prepared for this
Distract yourself with Tetris, Solitaire, Sudoku, word searches, or other puzzle games
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Reorientation Techniques
Say or think to yourself: "My name is _________. I am safe right now. I am _____ years old. I am currently at _____________. The date is _____________. If I need help, I am with ________/can call _________. Everything is going to be alright."
List reaffirming statements ("I am fine. Everything is going to be okay. I am strong. I can handle this.")
Ask yourself where you are, what day of the week it is, what day of the month it is, what month it is, what year it is, what season it is, how old you are, and other present-focused questions
Describe your surroundings in detail, including sights (objects, textures, shapes, colors), sounds, smells, and temperature
Think about a fun time that you recently had with a friend or call that friend and ask them to talk about it with you
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Sensory-Based Grounding Techniques
Run cool or warm (but not too cold or hot) water over your hands or take a cool or wam bath or shower
Spritz your face (with eyes closed), neck, arms, and hands with a fine water mist
Spray yourself with your favorite perfume and focus on the scent
Feel the weight of your body in your chair or on the floor and the weight of your clothing on your skin
Listen to soothing or familiar music. If possible, dance to it
Hum, sing, recite poetry, or make up a silly poem or story as you go
Pick up a book and read the first paragraph out loud
Hug a tree! Register the smells of being outside, the wind, and the sights around you
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Movement-Based Grounding Techniques
Breathe deeply and slowly and count your breaths
Grab tightly onto your chair or press your feet against the ground as firmly as you can
Stomp your feet, walk around, run, jump, ride a bike, do jumping jacks, or do yoga
While walking, notice each footstep and say to yourself "right" and "left" to correspond with the foot currently moving
Squeeze a pillow, stuffed animal, or ball
Write whatever comes to mind even if it's nonsense. Try not to write about whatever is upsetting you until you're more capable of doing so without increasing the upset
Write a list of things that make you happy or look for cheerful pictures to make into a collage
Pop bubble wrap or blow and pop actual bubbles
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Imagery Techniques
Picture yourself breathing in relaxation, calm, positive feelings, or strength. Picture yourself breathing out whatever is upsetting you. It may help to pair this with imagery of breathing in soothing colors (usually blue, purple, or green) and out more intense colors (usually red or black)
If you need to relax, envision a soothing white or golden light slowly moving up your body, warming and relaxing every part of you that it touches. You can also think of it as protecting you from negativity or from harm
Picture yourself calm, focused, and able to tackle whatever problems you're facing. Focus on how that would feel in the moment. What would your expression and posture be like? Make whatever changes you need to in order to make your reality reflect your goal
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Source:
Grounding techniques can help to reduce dissociation, prevent or stop flashbacks, reduce anxiety, and avoid harmful behaviors. There are man
