I think about TFP Starscream x TFP Ultra Magnus a lot. This is really funny because I can give you a list of a hundred reasons why they would not work and maybe one why they could, but also imagine the look on the Autobot’s faces. Think about how funny it would be.
Even better if they’re really healthy somehow. Like they’re so different that they balance out. In my opinion most crackships are infinitely funnier if they somehow work out.
Ultra Magnus: "Soldiers. I have entered a romantic relationship, and I find it to be important enough information to share with the rest of you"
Arcee: "I didn’t know you had it in you, sir. Who’s the lucky bot?"
Ultra Magnus: “….”
Bumblebee: "…Ultra Magnus?"
Ultra Magnus: "Well, you see..."
Starscream, bursting through the door: "ITS ME! You really thought you got rid of me, didn't you? Well, you didn't! I, Starscream, HAVE STOLEN YOUR SECOND IN COMMAND-!”
Cue a long, dramatic monologue that gets mostly overshadowed by the cacophony of every Autobot in the base Freaking The Frag Out (tm) and trying to shoot Starscream. Ultra Magnus goes on an equally long tangent about renewal and growth that sounds like it’s being read straight out of a self help book.
When Ratchet finds out, he makes the most flabbergasted, stunned face ever. Like, optics bugging, jaw dropped. Smokescreen snaps a picture and uses it as a reaction image in comms.
Every time Starscream and Ultra Magnus do anything even mildly romantic, there is someone gagging in the background. I want to see a bunch of cartoon villain level antics from Starscream as well. Everyone keeps assume he’s scheming because, yknow, he’s Starscream. Arcee and Smokescreen go on a whole detective style investigation only to find out Starscream was sleuthing around to get Ultra Magnus a gift for his sparkday or something.
I’m sorry to anyone who ships this but. It’s really funny. Please tell me you guys see how funny it would be. Do I think it would ever be possible and still in character? Mmmmmaybe. Maybe. Do I think it would be healthy? Probably not. But wouldn’t it be hilarious if they were?
