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Just realised it's exactly one week until my birthday (25th)

And I still have a bunch of stuff to write.

Yay.

#no but i am kinda excited #it's just like 'wait it's next week?'#'i will have aged one year next monday?'#i don't feel very old #starri's thoughts #delete later

everytime i see a post about 'cringe culture' i make the mistake of looking through the notes. and a lot of things about different things being 'cringey' makes me feel really bad for liking something considered as such. i've started doing something that i think really lets my creativity flow and combines a few of my passions into one thing and i (usually) feel super good about it, but i'm terrified of showing it or telling someone about it on this site or even showing it to my friends because a part of me knows that i'll be judged and laughed at for it and i'll just be labelled as a childish, cringey person for the rest of my life.

#vent #starri's thoughts #delete later #sorry #i needed to write this out somewhere #tbh i felt like crying while i wrote this :(

I have such a sudden urge to make a rp blog for a Homestuck character but its like, are any other hs blogs even active? would anybody even notice it? should I be alright with making a blog for this 'filthy' fandom? idk???

#somebody help me out here #please #starri's thoughts #hs #and it almost seems embarrassing that i started reading it 9 months after it ended #i've got like 50 pages or so to go #i'm just so conflicted right now

I know I haven’t been active often, but I’m honestly considering writing a FNAF (speculative) fanfic and I’m thinking about posting it on here.

I don’t think it’ll get much attention on this site though, I don’t have a massive follower count and the fandom isn’t that big either. I’ll be posting it on AO3 anyway, and if it does gain some popularity then I might make a sideblog dedicated to it and any other multi-chapter fiction I write.

Idk. I’m just throwing this out into the void at the moment. It’s partially a task to get me back into the writing spirit for my original fiction, but it might be fun. Who knows?

#if anyone has anywhere else i could be posting it then that’d be cool too #fnaf #five nights at freddy’s #fnaf fanfic #starri's thoughts #it could be like my batim fic #or it could be like my taz fic #or somewhere in between

Anybody have any ideas on how to cheer myself up?

I’m not feeling so great at the moment...

#feeling like i screwed everything up #who’s gonna see this anyway #probably nobody #starri's thoughts #delete later

So today I had to perform a monologue as angrily as I could in front of some people. They applauded at the end and said it was good, but... something felt off about it when I did it.

It just kind of stirred a bad feeling in me, and it made me feel confused and kinda scared. I can’t completely think straight about it.

Anyone have an idea of what it could be? Or am I just overthinking this?

#maybe it just felt too genuine when i did it?#idk #starri's thoughts #delete later?

nothing like accidentally giving myself existential thoughts while i’m trying to study

#now i feel kinda anxious #thank you very much brain #starri's thoughts #delete later

I witnessed the sun turn orange and watched the sky turn darker for about an hour today.

It was pretty weird.

#lots of people thought it was the end of the world #though thankfully it isn't #personally i love unusual weather phenomena like that #starri's thoughts #it was kinda cool tbh #at least it was just dust and particles carried by the hurricane

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