“I don’t want to feel this way anymore.” with Gai and maybe the rest of the boys??? Idk I just want angst
I’ll never let you go (but sometimes it’s better to let you go)
The world is spinning, turning and twisting upside down. Everything seems out of focus, blobs of what seems to be people blur and blend together. Someone is speaking near him but their voice seems so far away, muffled.
Gai stumbled around the practice room, trying to keep up with the pace of the music, but it’s all too much. The bass is too loud, rattling his bones to the very core. The sounds of the other’s shoes squeaking on the wood floor hurt his ears, causing him to wince at every movement.
“Come on Gai! Pick up the pace!” The instructor clapped. Shaking his head, Gai forced himself to control his body, to be one with the music.
Turns out, ignoring your pain isn’t gonna make it go away.
The next thing he remembers was hearing Perry scream and the world fading to black.
Perry had been keeping a close on Gai ever since they stepped foot into the practice room this morning. For the past few days, Gai had been sick. At first, they all thought that it was just the flu but Roy and Perry being the moms that they are suspected it was something worse.
Much worse.
“Do we need to call the ambulance?” Blink asked, staring at his beloved hyung on the ground.
Roy crouched down to the ground, placing the younger’s head on his lap. “Mavin already called. They should be on the way right now.”
Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion to the others. The door to the practice room busted wide open, two men entered and told them to get away from the patient.
Roy reluctantly handed Gai over to them, standing up to join his friends. “Is it bad?” Sid whispered, tears welling in his eyes. “I don’t know, Sid. I don’t know” Roy whispered back, his eyes glossing over.
“We have to take him to the hospital.” One of the men finally announced.
Everyone watched as they pulled a stretcher in beside their unconscious friend on the ground and wheeled him out to the ambulance. “Two of you can ride in the ambulance with him. The rest will meet up with you guys in the hospital later.” Their manager explained.
Roy and Sid volunteered to ride in the ambulance with Gai. Without hesitation, they both jumped in the car sitting next to Gai.
“You’re okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.” Sid cried, clutching his best friend’s hand in a death grip.
The world was still spinning when Gai opened his eyes. The first thing he sees is white, and a blinding light being shone in his face. Is this what heaven looks like?
Voices can be heard and he felt the hard hospital bed dip to the side, a comforting hand running through his hair. “Gai, are you awake? Is it too bright?” Gai groaned, putting his arm over his head, shielding his eyes from the light.
Doctors and nurses flowed in and out of the room the whole day asking various questions. “What’s the last thing you remember?, “How long has this been going on?, When did the symptoms start?”
Gai was beginning to look ill again, his symptoms worsening as the days go by.
They were back at their dorms, relaxing in the living room. Soft music blared from one of Blink’s mini speakers. Sid and Perry built a pillow fort and wrapped Gai up in layers of blankets making him feel as comfortable as possible.
He hasn’t been eating lately, not being able to stomach anything. His skin has become pale. Paler than what it normally was and his head constantly feel like it’s been run over.
“Gai, sweetie. Why are you crying?”
Everyone’s head snapped towards their second youngest maknae, eyes growing big in concern. “Come on, baby. You can tell me” Perry said, wiping his tears away.
“I don’t want to feel this way anymore!” Gai sobbed, finally breaking down. A pair of strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him close. It felt like a dam had finally broke, spilling out all the emotions he’s been bottling up the past week.
Gai closed his eyes, basking in the comfort of the eldest’s arms until another wave of dizziness and nausea hits.
Perry gasped as Gai suddenly started shaking, eyes rolling to the back of his head. The others screamed as his body started convulsing harder.
“Someone call the ambulance! He’s having a seizure!” Mavin shouted.
Roy quickly placed Gai’s head on his lap to prevent his head from getting hurt, running his hands through his blonde locks.
“Sid, I’m scared” Blink cried, burying his head in Sid’s shoulder, to horrified to watch the scene unfold before his eyes.
Gai’s seizures stopped before the ambulance could arrive, “he’s not breathing!” Roy shouted, going hysterical.
The door to their dorm busted down at that exact moment, medics rushed in. Blink screamed, trying to rush over to his friend but Sid held on to him. The medics quickly performed CPR
Gai please don’t die on us now, please
After what felt like an eternity, Gai gasped and bolted straight up out of the stretcher, breathing heavily. The boys cried and hugged each other. “It’s gonna be alright. Everything is gonna be fine now.”
Oh boy were they wrong.
Mavin prayed to whatever gods there were in the sky, even kneeled down and begged them to erase the picture of a lifeless Gai lying in a hospital bed. It felt all too real, like at any moment his was gonna be ripped away from them, crawling into the cold hands of death.
Two hours. It’s been two hours since they wheeled his seemingly lifeless body into the OR. Two hellish hours they spent, pacing, crying and comforting each other.
They hoped and prayed that everything will be alright but in the back of their minds all they can hear is Gai’s raspy, weak voice saying “I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”
A silent agreement was passed between all of them that night. They’d rather let their friend crawl into the cold hands of death than watch him suffer.
