#starting over.

[kiddmandu1]

[d-druig]

please go & follow my new main writing blog … i haven’t been very active on this particular account & i’ve grown kind of bored of it. so, i wanted a fresh start & make new & fresh content. you can follow me by my familiar user, @chaoscarlet. thank you so much! i will follow ALL back & i hope to see my familiar mutuals over there! love you.

ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ♡

[dylsobricn-blog]

starting over | nia and dylan.

The past few weeks had become a complete blur to the actor. Of course it had all started with one sour night that tumbled into weeks of hospital time for his girlfriend. The male was thankful she was improving, especially considering she was pregnant, which was his most common concern. After learning that the female would most likely be discharged from the building soon, Dylan received a text from Nia that ended up with him knocking at her hospital room door. Sticking his phone into his pocket, Dylan baleld his hand into a tight fist, resting it against the steel door as he slightly jarred it open. “Babe? I’m here.” He announced, pushing the door ajar as he poked his head through the slight crevice. Tip-toeing his way in, he observed the room around him, a heavy sigh surpassing his lips as he wondered further into the small room. “I’m not going to miss this room any more than you will. But I do have to say you look sexy in your gown.” Dylan drawled, a soft smirk immediately appearing at the corner of his lips.

@babes-lovelis

[kurvn]

          the darkness became his ally, and with           every passing night he had come to the           conclusion that he had lost a piece of            himself in his past. a piece he continues           to scavenge for in all the broken souls he           crosses paths with. 

                                                           (      reblog. like. follow.       ) 

[artificialfaith-archive-blog]

:: p s a ::

just a small psa: actually a big one.  i'm going to be re-making, so feel free to unfollow this blog. i just feel like i've been so untidy + my tagging system is everywhere so this'll just be saved as an archive or whatever. if you can't fine me i'll also be here & here.

[the-sound-of-sincerity-blog]

I still haven't gotten my dress hemmed yet.  And the person I always take my dresses to only speaks a few words of English.  And my aunt gave me wild instructions for how to get it hemmed.  How am I supposed to explain to this lady, who barely understands anything I say, something that I barely understand myself?

And on top of that, I haven't been to the gym to tan.  I have a little over a week before the wedding, in Florida, and I don't have a tan.  I'm as white as ever.  And in that tangerine-colored dress, I'm gonna look like a complete retard.  

I barely have any summer clothes.  Yeah, I have tank tops, but I haven't been to the gym to work out either so I can't just wear tank tops.  I'll look gross.  I have tee shirts, but I'm not trying to look like a slob.  I have shorts, but only about 2 of them fit me since I've gained so much weight.  I have a sundress, but only one.  And it also makes me look fat.

And once I get there, that means no more.  No more weed, no more beer, no more pills, no more being a lazy slump.  But that's what I am.  I'm not afraid to admit it.  That's what I do.  The first week is going to kill me.  I do need this though, so I can get a new job when I come home.  I've been having trouble since I can't pass a drug test.  But after a month of no drugs, I'll be able to.  But to do that, I have to go a month with no drugs. I'm scared.

And once I leave next Wednesday, I won't be back until the end of June.  I'm going to miss so much that happens at home.  I hate being away from Matt, as sad as that sounds, and I haven't spent more than a week away from him since we met.  I can't get all these thoughts out of my head.  Is he going to cheat on me?  If he does, will he admit it?  Will he wait for me to get back home to tell me?  Will he lie and hide it?  If he does anything stupid while I'm gone I just want him to call me up and be blunt about it so I can do me.  He's pretty much the only reason I want to stay in Virginia, so if he cheats on me I'm not coming home at all.  I'd rather continue what's gonna start in Florida than come back to shit hole Virginia and be reminded how much my life sucks here.

I'm getting soo stressed out and I just feel like a psycho maniac.  I keep snapping at my mom and texting crazy things to Matt just because I don't know how to handle myself right now.  I can't deal with people, I can't deal with myself, I can't deal with loneliness, I can't deal with change.

I might as well kill myself.