My job does not call for any creativity. As long as I can think rationally, I would survive my life inside the office. The past 8 years of my life had been a repetitive routine of work-house-sleep-work. There is not much to complain because I earn big after all, but then, if I make a summary of my life, it wouldn't even take me a page to write everything. I'm pretty sure that if the 'young me' would ever see me right now, she would scold me and would definitely be ashamed of calling me her 'older version'. That sucks, really. What's good about life is that I can start anytime. I can start a change whenever I think is appropriate. If I wanna quit my job, I know I can. It is just a matter of choice. The problen is me making the decision and having the determination. This is not the first time that I realized that I needed a change in me. I've had moments where I thought I needed to learn a new language so I started enrolling myself in a basic Japanese course but I eventually got tired so I quit. I bought a sketch pad and a set of drawing pencils to start drawing but I cringed at seeing my first few strokes so I let the sketch pad and the pencils collect dust. I bought a fantasy novel as I used to love reading books when I was still in school but there it goes, together with the sketch pad and the pencils. There are other things which I started but never quite finished. Why? Because midway, I got scared. I got scared that I would forever be learning, that I would never get better and that I would forever be stuck in this cycle. Foolish, right?? I know, but there are some things that you simply can't get out of your head. I wish there would be someone who would be willing to smack my head real hard to wake me to the reality that I can do and finish things. This is me again, trying to be brave to start all over, to let go of past failures, to learn from it and to have the strength to keep moving forward. First of all, let me get 100% confidence. I CAN DO THIS!!
