tl;dr: i had some issues with the seal of alabama so i made it better.
what actually happened was i fell down a rabbit hole of learning about the history of alabama, the seven years’ war (something i do know about, but only to the north!), and typography. and now i’m going to share it with all of you.
welcome to a canadian’s wild ride through through some of the history of some of the southern states.
COOL FACT #1: the great seal of the state of alabama uses times new roman.
i was like “wtf guys you couldn’t have tried AT ALL?” but then i looked up the history of TNR and it’s pretty cool! it goes all the way back to 1931, which was kind of a long time ago in internet terms, and was commissioned for the times — like The Times, the big british newspaper.
and then the seal of alabama was designed in 1939. i mean, this one:
but that’s kind of boring af, like really, guys? a map on your seal? that’s the best you could do?
COOL FACT #2, HOWEVER: the map motif is actually ALSO how their seals STARTED!
in the 18th and 19th centuries the area seemed to be a push-me-pull-you between spanish and british colonies. (what about the indigenous population, you might ask? history says “lol.” that’s an even bigger rabbit hole that i can’t go down right now, but some of it involves the yazoo tribe and a very sexy land scandal. it’s only sexy because the word “scandal” is sexy; there isn’t actually anything sexy about governors committing fraud, and ESPECIALLY not about the theft of indigenous lands in the first place. shame on your house, former congressman george matthews.)
in 1817, the territory was split when mississippi was welcomed as a state (happy birthday!!!) and alabama was left as a territory, about which it presumably felt like this:
now that alabama’s gotta strike out on its own without its west-side bro, it needs its own seal. the territory’s governor, cool-name-dude william wyatt bibb, made this!:
see? i told you. the map thing has a history. this seal shows the rivers that were apparently important resources, and it’s on a tree, and there’s a boat, and there’s a river. it’s quaint. there isn’t a motto or anything, which kind of bums me out, but i also think it’s pretty ballsy. “WE’LL PUT A MAP ON A TREE AND LET IT SPEAK FOR ITSELF,” bibb maybe said, and when people asked him “but what is it supposed to say?” he said, simply and proud, “ALABAMA.” and they were like
two years later, alabama becomes the 22nd state. bibb becomes the governor, probably because everybody loved his confident seal so much.
hop forward 50 years and alabama’s like “maaan we need a new seal. everybody else has these cool things like lasers and dinosaurs and all we have is a TREE.” so they get on adobe illustrator and say “FUCK THE TREES,” and “FUCK THE RIVERS,” and most importantly, “FUCK THE MAPS!” and, in 1868, they start using this doozy:
COOL FACT #3: i have no fucking idea what “here we rest” means.
i tried to look it up but all i got was an album by some country singer. (i don’t actually know if he’s a country singer but i’m only here to make wild accusations.)
and now this all brings us to 1939, when governor frank m. dixon (those governors, such movers and shakers!) wants to go vintage and get the map back on the seal. maybe he’s like “oh damn there’s a big war going on, let’s take Fighty the Eagle off so we look like less of a threat.” or something.
and that’s how alabama got the most boring state seal ever, which is literally a map. nothing else. just a map. of alabama. and some bits to tell us “hey, here’s where alabama isn’t.” not even a steamer or tree to be found. the corpse of a tree pinned to a living tree — that was kind of metal. but no, that’s too much, let’s scale it back.
they even made mississippi and florida the same colour and WHILE I MAY NOT BE A MAP-DOCTOR, i’m PRETTY SURE that’s a no-no because those are TWO DIFFERENT STATES. also, let’s make tennessee a darker shade of blue so people don’t mistake it for a body of water. top-notch effort, guys. really knocked it out of the park. it speaks to me.
COOL FACT #4 IS A SIDEBAR: georgia’s state seal was HIDDEN FOR A WHILE and they used a FAKE ONE in the late 19th century.
but this is me getting ahead of myself, and that’s a topic for another day. here’s the wikipedia link.