#static reconnection

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I miss ur posts sorry the shitty fandom drove you away it kinda did the same to me too so i get it. I hope you’re doing well

i hope you’re doing well too, friend. i’m glad that the silly things i did made you happy, that is such a good feeling to me.

i don’t know, i don’t think the fandom is necessarily shitty. the fandom is just another era of people desperate for a coming of age tale that naturalizes young, queer love. the problem is, like it normally is, people so afraid that they are going to get queer baited yet again that they search so hard to find evidence to back up their view points. thing is: that evidence is more plain than walking up to a bank robbery and finding the thief in the white and black striped shirt with the ski mask holding the sack with a $ on it. the show is queer coded to hell and back, just all depends on what the show runners and the network decide to go with for the end.

what drove me off is that real people started getting harassments and death threats and the parasocial relationship got way out of hand in the heat of the moment. let me not exclude myself, however, because i was also going through a lot at the time and the s4 arc was very healing to me and i definitely wrote “static re-connection” in a manic phase just prior to getting diagnosed with bipolar ii disorder. i think it hurt to have put effort into something that meant a lot to me to write, to be vulnerable enough to share it (i think i am a terrible writer and i am shocked at the positive feedback i got from writing it), and to find that vulnerability lost in a sea of tumultuous demand that turned sour. i wants to walk away because i wanted to be able to re-engage when s5 rolls around and not be so burnt on it, and to not associate that vulnerable feeling with such bad energy from the summer.

that wound up being a lot, but thank you again :) if any followers see this, i also miss you and your posts. go out and do something nice for someone today, they deserve it.

also, unrelated, fuck fascists. just as an aside.

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mmmm torn between writing a sequel to my first full fic i'll have committed myself to finishing or writing a new work that i've rough sketched out at 11-12 chapters that i'm afraid will easily break 200-250K words

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ok maybe this isn't like a huge first accomplishment but

the fact over a thousand people want to read my silly little writings about two silly boys down bad for each other is ridiculously humbling lskdjflsdkfjlsdkf

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Static Re-connection | chapter 6, "stars"

"His breath hitched as his mind found the treasure trove of memories it had made the night before. Drawing in the candlelight and showing Mike how to shade colors together, flipping through old campaigns to source new ideas and revisit old enemies, trying to stifle laughter as Mike and his mother argued on the phone for half an hour about his staying over, celebrating the return of air-conditioning in the late hours of the night by popping fresh popcorn and putting on the original Halloween, realizing he had taken to cowering into Mike’s shoulder every five minutes once his mother had gone to bed, sitting on his front porch with two bowls of ice cream as he was recounted the epic saga of the lighthouse mishap, getting mad that Mike would dare risk his life to just talk to him, blushing when Mike said that hopefully he could do it every day for the rest of his life, feeling awkward for the first time in his life about changing into sleeping clothes in front of his best friend, laying in the dark with foreheads touching, whispering a million promises that were only for the two of them to know, feeling the scratchy fabric of a cast beneath his fingers as he held his best friend in his arms, staying awake until he knew Mike was asleep just so he could learn what it felt like when his body slipped peacefully into slumber, listening to the calm in-and-out of his breathing into the crook of his arm, memorizing the smell of Mike’s shampoo beneath his nostrils. Spending every ounce of energy he had within him to attempt to write all of these memories directly on his heart, so he would always carry them with him."

Click to read more

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legit cannot express how nice it feels to wake up and read some of most ridiculously nice comments on ao3 like, please, this is too much, thank you sm :')

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Static Re-connection, final chapter: "light"

"Silence, broken only by the rhythmic beating of rain drops on the aged glass windowpane beside them. Mike kept his face locked with Will’s own as he tried to express his absolute sincerity. Neither boy moved, neither boy breathed. He watched as a strange look trepidatiously arched its way across Will's tear-stained face. Mike hadn’t seen this look on Will before, it was one that he felt invited him to continue, yet the sorrow in his eyes and his frown told Mike the sorrowful truth: that he was prepared to be hurt again. He steadied his shoulders and attempted to make his face as honest as possible. He wanted Will to see that he was being as vulnerable as possible, needed him to know that Mike was an entirely open book."

final chapter of my first fic is live and i'm gonna go cry now because i am emotionally drained. i just hope you enjoy, all the positive feedback has meant the world <3

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Static Re-Connection, Chapter 4: hospital

Mike wound up in this predicament because… well, because of himself. If he’d used an ounce of his brain at any time this week, he would have realized he was being entirely oblivious to what Will was telling him. He felt like an idiot, not picking up that Will was using code to talk in code. This would have been the longest stretch of time they’d gone without speaking since rekindling their friendship, and clearly neither of them could handle that. And, yet, he was so stupid that he couldn’t even realize Will was trying to convey to him the depth of damage Mike’s ignorance had had upon his fractured heart.

new chapter drop! (was gonna wrap it up tonight but had a burst of inspiration and said 'eh why not its friday')

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mmmmmmmm you ever just be vibing and fan-fic writing and have to stop to say to yourself "damn this is some fucked up stuff who thought of this" and then you remember "oh yes. me."