sunset to sweet dreams
sunset — who is someone you thought would be in your life forever, but you no longer talk to?
“ god, i feel like i could list so many people. when you’re ten and happy you think everyone in your life is going to be there forever, you know? and with everything happening the way it did, i never even got to say goodbye to…anyone, really. and now, will i ever know what happened to them? to my best friend in third grade? to my teachers? my neighbors? and of course, my parents, the ones you think will always be there. and my dear max. ”
midnight — are you a different person late at night than in the early morning?
” not that i know of, but perhaps i change a bit. i’m usually pretty exhausted at the end of the night and my ankles and back are aching, i can imagine i could be a bit grumpy. at least, much more drowsy than i am in the morning. this second trimester energy is no joke, i’m usually up before the sun. ”
candle light — are you an indecisive person?
“ i don’t think so, no. like most positions in the world we live in, being a medic requires a lot of quick split second decisions. i had to learn early on in the hospital that there simply isn’t time to wait around and debate your options, not in an emergency. ”
reflection — have you ever changed something you liked about yourself to satisfy someone else?
“ no, not that i can recall. i try to be as generous and obliging as possible, but that seems a little far. ”
sweet dreams — are you happy?
” happy seems like…a hard word to commit to. i think i am as happy as i could be under the circumstances. i am safe, i am healthy. as far as i know, little one is healthy. that’s all i can ask for right now. things get better, as time goes on. i can see happy, like it’s so close. ”