new fic hot off the press... oblivious steve in a roommate Debacle based off this iconic reddit post, now complete: a fool's way into jealousy
rating: E, no archive warnings
word count: 25,221
pairing: steddie
some additional tags: modern au, roommates, mutual pining, oblivious steve, bisexual awakening, jealousy
this is also a fill for 2 of my @steddiebingo prompts: masturbation + kitchen sex
snippet below :p
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Steve is frozen.
He hadn’t. He hadn’t expected Robin to interpret this that way. She’s gone off script. What does he say now? What does he say?
As Steve panics, silently, Robin turns to face him, frowning again.
And then she gasps.
“No,” she chokes. “No, you’re shitting me. Steve -”
She leans across the table, grabbing him by the front of his shirt.
“Steve,” she says incredulously, shaking him, “Steven. Steve-o. You’re not serious. That’s - did you write that? Is that - is that you?!”
“Um,” Steve responds dumbly, “uh…”
“Oh my god,” she says faintly, “you complete, fucking… you oblivious walnut.”
“I didn’t!” Steve says frantically, “I didn’t know?”
“You didn’t know?” she breathes, very high pitched, sliding her hands into her hair. “Steve, answer me honestly: have you or have you not been having an aneurysm every time you see Eddie with another guy?”
“I… guess?”
“And have you or have you not ever thought about him in any context other than friendly, especially given your previous old-married-couple shtick?”
The image he’d had last night - Eddie on his knees, Eddie pushing him down over a table, Eddie’s tongue sliding up his -
“Yes,” he squeaks, as Robin grabs him by the shoulder again, knocking her elbow into his mercifully empty coffee cup.
“You are in love with that man,” Robin groans. “Oh my god, how did I not see this coming? The way you looked at him, in the bar sometimes? Your weird… thing, about that guy he’s been fucking? Your willingness to play Baldur’s Gate with him? Oh my god. Jesus fucking - oh this is incredible, Steve, even for you. Dustin’s going to have a field day.”
“Well don’t tell him,” Steve hisses, “I haven’t even - I haven’t even told Eddie yet!”
“Why,” Robin says, half strangled again, “the fuck not, Harrington? He’s probably at home right now trying to convince himself you aren’t some homophobic meathead! You know he mentioned you were acting weird, but never in my life could I have predicted this.”
“I didn’t know! I thought I was… I thought I had developed, like, a personal brand of homophobia!”
“Steve, your best friend is a lesbian!” Robin despairs, her hand back in her hair. “You dressed as Rocky for halloween two years ago!”
“You wanted to go as Frank-N-Furter!”
“You were one of the first people I admitted my first crush to! You’ve been to pride five years in a row! You made out with a guy in the parade the year before you started dating Nancy!”
“I did?” Steve frowns. “Huh.”
Robin shakes her head, speechless.
“I was so plastered that year,” Steve hums, leaning back thoughtfully. “Wait so what are you saying - you think I’m… not straight?”
“I can’t do this today,” Robin laughs deliriously. “Do I think you’re - Steve, what I am saying, is there is more chance of me growing a third arm right now out of my fucking forehead and reaching over the table to throttle you with it than there there is of you being homophobic. What I am also saying is you clearly want to screw Eddie, and maybe marry him and spawn some gross little Harrington rugrats with him. So yes, correct, you are not straight.”
Steve feels a rock lodge in his throat. He sucks his eyes, fidgeting with his phone.
“Yeah,” he says quietly. “I guess I just… how can it only be him, Rob? I’ve never… he’s the only guy that I think I’ve ever… thought about this way.”
Robin softens, and leans across the table to take his hand. Her fingers are small, he notes, and her chunky mixed-metal rings are cold against his palm.
“It’s not a… fifty fifty thing, Steve,” she reminds him. “Maybe it really is only Eddie… maybe Eddie Munson is the only guy in the whole weird you wanna bone down with -”
“Don’t say bone down with -”
“- make love to, ew, whatever,” Robin rolls her eyes. “But… that still makes you not straight, Steve.”
She smiles, then, squeezing his hand.
“Does it really matter much? It’s okay if it does matter, but it’s not like you really… does the label matter, as long as you feel the way you do about Eddie?”
Steve thinks about it for a moment, and then shakes his head.
Does it matter? Does it really matter, as long as Eddie knows how he feels?
As long as Eddie knows how badly Steve wants to be the guy he brings home from the bar?
The only guy?
“Fuck,” he sighs. “No. No it doesn't.”