steflovessamwilson replied to your post “I really just don’t reliably respond to my birth name anymore and I am...”
Why is your mom "not allowing" you to come out as trans? That seems really unfair and like it shouldn't be up to her. :(
it’s honestly some Real Bullshit about how my grandma will probably react negatively to it (which is true) and she’s the matriarch of the family obv (esp cuz my grandpa died like...13 years ago) and she’s 93 years old but like...JESUS CHRIST SHE’S 93 YEARS OLD WHO CARES. The women on her side of the family are unusually long-lived but she has 7 years to go AT THE VERY MOST.
And like my family doesn’t like each other very much, like no one in my huge extended family likes each other very much except for random pockets of 2 or 3 people who get along well, and I assume she thinks that The Power Of My Transness would be enough to finally break down the family enough that we couldn’t even pretend to like each other any more, or something.
It’s a little bullshit because my grandma has TWO gay nephews who she loves very much, and she knows what “sex reassignment” (preferred term is gender affirming, but I’m quoting) surgery is and talked about it in a non-negative way like last fuckin week. She is definitely a bigoted old lady in a lot of ways, but she doesn’t shittalk trans people that I know of, which usually means she doesn’t have much of a problem with us.
But I’m currently dependent on my mom both economically and in a lot of other ways, too, so I do what she says...kind of. I bring up “But seriously, I would love to come out to my own family” a LOT and she always shoots it down. Going behind her back to do it would be the shitstorm of a century.
She wouldn’t let me come out in high school, either. I just wanted to come out as bi then, but she was afraid that...my classmates’ parents would be mean to me? Never did find out what that was supposed to mean.
