published on: june 21, 2023
pairing: okabe rintarou & reader
summary: the rain feels cold and unpleasant on your skin, but you try to convince yourself it's bearable.
word count: 1.9k+
entries: i. | ii. | iii.
When the bell rings for the last time, [Name] heaves a long sigh of relief. Thursdays are the longest days of the week — the classes go as far as six in the afternoon, but the day never quite ends there. Besides, the days now feel very short, as the sky gets dark at roughly around five. She doesn’t live too far away, especially by train, but something unsettles her when it’s dark. Especially when it’s December.
She takes out her phone from the side pocket of her bag. No text messages. She stares for a moment or two, but she puts it away before it gets to her. Instead, she puts everything inside her bag and follows her classmates out of the room. Some turn to her in curiosity. It’s been more than two weeks since she’s been an internship student in Tokyo Denki University, but, besides the brief introduction that the teacher requested of her, nobody knows anything about her. Nobody knows her. She’s just minding her own business, away from everyone. That usually works well. The fewer problems she gets herself in, the better.
It’s gotten easy to walk through a crowded hallway, pretending nobody’s there. Everything sounds muffled, as if it’s happening in a distant place. [Name] just grips the right strap of the bag closer to herself, head hanging low, as she walks down the stairs. When she approaches the exit of the building, the first thing she sees is rain.
Damn it!
She opens up her bag, although she suspects already that the umbrella was left at home. She fumbles with the content of her bag, but, in the end, nothing is found. She groans and hangs her head in defeat, but then stands upright. It’s just a little bit of rain, [Name] thinks — or rather, tries to tell herself. You’ll be okay. She wraps her scarf closer to herself, puts her phone inside the pocket of her coat to avoid damage, and begins walking home.
The moment the rain touches her skin, she hisses. It shouldn’t be a surprise that it would be cold at this time of the year, but it’s never really satisfying to feel freezing cold water on you after you’ve been inside a warm building for nearly an entire day. Perhaps, it wouldn’t feel as bad if she had taken the chance to go to the cafeteria and get a warm coffee, with just the right amount of sugar in it. But, the more time she wastes inside the university, the later it gets, the worse she feels. You can get your coffee at home, don’t make such a fuss. The scolding tone in her own thoughts is not really her own, but it’s gotten so automatic to include her voice in her head, to make sure she doesn’t stray away from her path and her own errands. One can argue that it’s not exactly healthy, but, oh well… Old habits die hard.
She hears splashes behind her, increasingly getting closer, before she suddenly stops feeling the water on top of her head. ‘Careful, you’ll get a cold.’ She turns her head to see Okabe hunching slightly over her. He holds a black umbrella in his left hand, standing close — but not too close — to her so that both are protected from the rain. She stares up at him for a moment, caught off guard, and she observes his face and that small smile that’s on his lips.
‘...Thank you.’
His smile falls, and he frowns a little bit. ‘Are you okay? You look a little… upset.’ [Name] glances away, and makes herself look smaller as she pulls her arms closer to her body. He notices. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.’ Instead, they continue on their way, going through the gates of the university.
As per usual, there is a lot of traffic. Regardless of which region you are, Tokyo is still Tokyo. Many students are leaving in groups, perhaps to spend time together or accompany each other home. She can see a couple of lovebirds as well; even from a distance, the slight closeness between the two of them is enough to tell that the two are in a romantic relationship.
A car drives by, going above the speed limit. The sound snaps her back to reality. What are you doing? Pay attention! She murmurs under her breath, feeling her skin burn as she feels the young man’s gaze on her once again. They stop on the crosswalk, amongst a crowd, and they wait for the light to turn green. It’s as they stand there that it crosses her mind that she hasn’t even asked in which way he was going. Perhaps, he’d be heading home, and they would stop walking together.
Before the words can get out of her mouth, Okabe speaks. ‘Where are you headed? I’ll walk you to the station.’
‘You don’t need to…’ The thought of walking this close to him makes her paranoid. And guilty.
‘I’m not letting you get sick,’ he says and chuckles, trying to lighten up the mood. ‘I wouldn’t really be able to forgive myself, you know? Besides, it’s a quick jump to the sta—’
When he turns to take a look at her face, he finds himself fumbling with his words, his breath caught in his throat, upon seeing her eyes already on him. Okabe freezes on his tracks. There is something in her gaze that paralyzes him — it’s that seriousness, that seeming uncertainty. Thoughts are running wildly through her mind, mostly doubts and questions. She can’t name what she is feeling, but the selflessness and kindness she has been receiving from the few people she’s met in Japan feels unreal. Especially his.
They don’t really know each other. Besides the short conversation they had in the seminar, two weeks ago, which wasn’t unpleasant by any means, they haven’t had many encounters. They don’t share the same classes as Okabe initially speculated; thus, besides an occasional wave in the corridors or cafeteria, they haven’t really had the chance to get to know each other. Their schedules are different, and they are busy as they are, especially with exams and assignments around the corner. If anything, she would be catching up to the weeks worth of studies she hasn’t been able to follow while she was signing up for the internship.
But, that would most likely be a lie.
In truth, [Name] has been avoiding him. Though, not just him. She hasn’t been in touch with Naoko, besides the times they interact in school. The foreigner tells herself this is to protect herself, to avoid misunderstandings, and to make sure nothing goes wrong while she’s away from home. Many people say that what’s happened in the past is gone and over with, that it can’t come back to haunt you. But, it never hurts to take precaution, does it? Even if university can’t go as poorly as highschool did for her, [Name] is afraid it repeats itself.
Perhaps, taking an internship was a bad idea after all.
‘[Name]?’
It’s when he calls her name — bashfully, she notices, from his tone and the glow on his face, no longer from just the cold — that she realizes she has reached for the sleeve of his heavy coat. She blinks as she stares at her own hand, gripping tightly onto him, and slowly pulls it back into her pocket. She keeps her eyes on the sleeve, unable to look him in the eye.
Why would he care so much about her? Does he feel some sort of obligation to make sure her stay in Japan goes well? She wouldn’t be surprised if some teachers had assigned students to watch over her, to see if she needs help with anything — the language, assignments, possible misunderstandings. Naoko mentioned that, sometimes, students are responsible to keep an eye out for internship students, especially those from Western countries. In fact, hadn’t she said something amongst the lines of “contact me if you need anything”? Would that mean Naoko—
No, don’t even go there.
Okabe hardly knows her, yet it feels like he does. The thought that he is looking out for her, despite being in different years and the very few interactions they’ve had between each other makes the guilt within her heart grow. Perhaps, for all this time she has tried to keep herself isolated, within the circle of studies, she hasn’t noticed how much of an idiot she can come across as. She’d practically flee from Okabe and other classmates whenever she found an opportunity.
‘...You’re a good person, Okabe,’ she murmurs under her breath. Taking a deep breath, she raises her head, watching him with that same seriousness from before. ‘Thank you for looking after me.’ Despite her initial thoughts, those words are sincere. It feels vulnerable, and [Name] isn’t quite sure if she likes it or not.
He opens his mouth, and a strange sound comes from his throat, as if he’s choked up on his words, unsure of what to say. It’s during those seconds where he’s confused and embarrassed that she takes notice of the situation — two people standing in the middle of the rain, having a heart-to-heart conversation. That’s how it feels like, and it’s not a completely unfamiliar feeling. If Naoko was here, she would surely say it’s just like a scene from a romance movie.
A sudden voice rings from the other side of the street. The crowd that was around them has long shifted, disappeared and replaced. [Name] looks up to see that the crosswalk light has been green for a long time, before turning to the figure that is jogging towards her and Okabe, umbrella in hand.
‘Tutturu~♪’
‘Mayuri,’ Okabe turns to the girl at the same time. The redness on his face is yet to vanish. ‘Sorry, I was just about to text you.’
‘That’s okay. Mayushii has just gotten here, too.’ The girl shakes her head with a gentle smile. Then, she turns to [Name], eyes wide in surprise and curiosity. ‘Huh? Who’s this?’
[Name] finds herself shrinking a little bit, now feeling hyper aware of the way she’s dressed, the way she brushed her hair which is half-soaked from the rain, the way that she probably didn’t brush her teeth that good this morning, the way that—
‘This is [Name],’ Okabe takes the matter into his own hands, politely introducing her to the highschool girl. There is a slight mispronunciation of her full name, but she isn’t entirely bothered by it; in fact, it nearly sounded perfect. ‘She’s an internship student at my university.’
‘Oh, you’re a foreigner?’ The girl — Mayuri — looks at her in amazement. Perhaps, she hasn’t seen many foreigners before. ‘Pleasure to meet you. I’m Shiina Mayuri, but you can call me Mayushii.’ She bows in greeting.
‘P-Pleasure to meet you as well,’ the young woman takes the hands out of her pockets and follows her example. When she’s done, she finds herself staring at that gentle, innocent smile, lost in thought.
‘Were you thinking of heading home?’ Okabe asks Mayuri, after watching their interaction carefully.
‘Well, Mayushii needs to stop by the lab to get some recipes that Yuki-san left for her.’ Mayuri puffs out her chest in confidence. ‘And Mayushii will execute them to the best of her abilities, following the lessons of her mentor!’
For some reason, Okabe shivers next to her. Before she can think about it any further, he turns to look at her instead, giving her a calm smile. ‘Where are you headed?’
‘Uh,’ she fidgets a little bit on her feet, ‘Akihabara.’
Both blink at her, before Mayuri (shouldn’t it be Mayushii, if she clearly prefers the sound of that name?) pulls the umbrella closer to her as she steps closer, to avoid being too close to the road as the light has turned red again. ‘Then, it’s decided. Akihabara it is!’
Sooo I finally managed to finish Steins;Gate 0………… (NO I STILL HADN’T FINISHED IT…… I put it on hold last summer and didn’t get the occasion to continue it until now lmao. WHICH is stupid because I really didn’t have a lot left to read lol)
Anyway, it was okay! I enjoyed it overall but man, the story is really a mess and there were some parts particularly frustrating and disappointing.
I think S;G0 is interesting in how it is basically a Frankenstein story. The writers took some bits and pieces from other stories (ie the original Epigraph light novels from which it was inspired, and the Arclight CD drama/manga most notably), then added some other stuff and sew all of this together. Which, at times it does give some interesting things, but at others it just fumble really badly.
The original S;G was pretty flawed, but at least it was clear that the narrative knew what it was doing and what the plot was about; all the plotlines and characters had a purpose and it was able to come all together at the end pretty neatly. In S;G0, there are just a lot of story bits and plotlines that simply… never goes anywhere, never get concluded in a satisfying manner, or just seems to be forgotten altogether. Which means that even if they did an interesting and cool thing with the final and true ending in tying the two principal routes, the narrative as a whole still feel very disjointed and awkward. I honestly think they should have tried to do a more linear storyline, rather than doing the double routes thing.
This VN just isn't sure what it wants to be at times, so it does throw at you some potentially cool concepts and ideas but never know how to properly handle or explore them as it should. The pacing as well was all over the place, because in the first route it has a very slow build up and meander around until it all explose at the end but it doesn’t really feel super earned, and in the second it kind of get lost here and there, then throw at you some cool stuff to keep you entertained (ie Okabe going to the future), and then go back to just meandering around (seriously, the end of Kurisu’s route felt very… anticlimatic in a lot of ways).
The most glaring thing regarding this was that plotline with the encephalitis patients and where Okabe arrive in warzone Okinawa in the timeline where the URSS still exists or something, with also that Fubuki girl who apparently has Reading Steiner, and it just…. Never leads to anything?? Like what was the point of this whole thing? It feels like a plotline they originally intended to have but then scrapped at the last minute, but for some reason they still left some of its plot bits here and there??
Also someone will have to explain to me WHAT was the point of Fubuki and Kaede’s characters as a whole. I don’t have anything against adding new characters to the cast (I mean, I absolutely ADORE Maho, and even if her character have a lot of issues I still like Kagari), but in their case they… literally served NO purpose, to the point where they actually annoyed me whenever they popped up because!! I don’t care about you two!! Who are you, what are you even doing here. You could get rid of them and lose practically nothing of the story. They pissed me off because it felt like they were taking away plot points and screentime that could’ve been spent on, oh I dunno, some actual established characters like FARIS AND LUKA??
Seriously Faris and Luka were SO sidelined in that game it’s not even funny. Imagine how much better this whole storyline with Fubuki would have been if it had been with Luka or Faris instead! Imagine one of them actually getting Reading Steiner and the narrative making something interesting with it! How cool it would have been?? But no, instead we’re stuck watching those nobodies doing nothing for the entire story. The only thing I like about them is actually seeing Mayuri hanging out with her own friends without Okabe being invovled, but y’know, we could’ve had that without this bullshit.
It’s all very frustrating and confusing because, the encephalitis thing could’ve been so interesting if dealt properly! I really love the perspective of other characters getting Reading Steiner and the Evil Scientist OrganizationTM trying to experiment on this once they learn about it; I think it ties pretty nicely with Okabe’s conclusion in the original game where he thinks that in the end, everyone probably got Reading Steiner on some level. How come this plotline didn’t get actual consequences on the overall story and true ending. Hell, maybe have the real Yuki involved in there too! Poor Yuki as well was treated so badly orz
Now, to be more positive, on the things I liked better compared to the original game: the POV switch! I know some people will argue with me that it makes sense the og game had only POV from Okabe because he’s the center of the story and it’s kind of thematically important for him and us to have a very tunnel-vision of what’s happening, which yeah I get that, but man, the story felt SO much more alive and dynamic when we’re allowed to follow the perspectives of other characters. And it also does wonders for those characters; whenever Maho, Suzuha, Kagari or Luka were allowed to have their little introspectives tidbits it added so much depth to them.
I also really like that the labmems where allowed to have more relationships with each other; in the og S;G, most of them were friends with Okabe but didn’t have any relationship with others except some rare cases like Kurisu and Mayuri or Mayuri and Luka (but even then, it’s not like we saw a lot of these friendships given everything was in Okabe’s POV). Because of this the labmems have always been a bit weird, because sometimes the story tries to push for them to be this group of kind-of outcast, weirdo friends, but… none of them are really friends exactly, they’re just friends with Okabe and because the story is so focused on him we barely see any of the other potential relationships. So here it was nice to see Luka and Faris being friends, or Suzuha and Mayuri having a peculiar relationship, or of course Maho and Moeka’s slow burn romance budding friendship. It made them feel… you know, like an actual group of friends with different, complex dynamic. And I also really liked how most of them got to know and be involved directly in the time travel shenanigan right off the bat instead of being kept in the dark; in the original, it’s really only Okabe-Kurisu-Daru-Mayuri and Suzuha for a time who knows the whole truth, Luka and Faris are always sidelined and kept out of the group which I never liked. (It’s especially wild with Faris because like… with her wealth and connections you’d think she’d be super useful in the plot?? And with the fact we knows her dad was researching time travel with Suzu Hashida AND was a friend of Kurisu’s dad?? Gah, Faris was so wasted in the original story! And unfortunately she was wasted in S;G0 as well -_-).
On that note, I also loved the endings much more than the ones from the original game. The thing with the different endings from the og S;G is that, most of them are basically ‘here’s an ending for each girls that Okabe get to more-or-less date!’ in that typical harem fashion. Meanwhile S;G0’s endings actually focused on the characters individually and actually offered different interesting alternatives to the events? Like, I was SHOOK when I saw that Maho’s ending was ENTIRELY about Maho and her complicated feelings about Kurisu and her friendship with Moeka, or when Kagari’s ending was entirely about Kagari and Mayuri, and that Okabe had almost NO role at all in either of them! Like wow, a S;G game where its female characters don’t entirely revolve around Okabe, incredible, right?
Like it’s funny saying it like this, but thinking about it in a way S;G0 actually did a better job at letting its female characters exists by themselves and having motivations and goals that doesn’t relate to male characters — things like Maho’s relationship with Kurisu, Mayuri’s relationship with Kagari, and Suzuha’s relationship with her mom was even arguably more important that the one with her dad at times (they still fumbles with it and drop the ball after a while. But still. It was nice while it lasted.) Given how nonenxistent moms were in the original S;G compared to the dads, that was a neat improvement imo (I mean, we even got a brief cameo of Okabe’s mom lol!)
All in all I think S;G0 really worked the best when it came to (some) of its characters and emotional moments; there were some raw scenes that were well executed, especially for example with Okabe and Maho’s grief over Kurisu, or with Suzuha and her complicated feelings about her parents and her situation, or hell even if I have issues with them even some Mayuri and Kagari scenes were pretty effective. (Suzuha and Maho’s breakdown scenes in Mayuri’s route, for instance, were both very well build up and handled.)
But in the end the best thing the story has to offer to me is, hand down, Maho. Even when the plot isn’t necessarily about her, she’s still the character that manages to shines the most, and she’s just… such a cool, charming, complicated person with lots of intricates relationships; and she just always made me smile whenever she was onscreen. Like, if you ask me if S;G0 is worth it, then I’d say yes 100% just because of Maho.
And to be honest, that’s kind of an impressing feat to accomplish? Because the thing is that, the writers really weren’t in an easy position I think when they decided to make Steins;Gate 0; they had to make a Steins;Gate game where Kurisu isn’t in it AND with a new heroine, and given Kurisu’s literally the most popular character of the franchise and basically the emblem of S;G as a whole it must have been a bit of a challenge. I think I’m not the only one who were feeling not super invested in a big S;G story where Kurisu is just dead in it. So they had to make it so that new heroine manage to 1. stand on her own without feeling like a Kurisu 0.2 and 2. still not make it feel like she’s ‘‘stealing’’ Kurisu’s place as the original main heroine.
And somehow it worked? Maho is similar to Kurisu on a lot of points (young brilliant scientist lady, strong character and harsh and cynical personality but still pretty kind person deep down, asocial/lonely person) but she still manage to stand on her own, have a very good and compelling arc even in the route/ending that isn’t her own, and have a very interesting dynamic with the rest of the cast, especially with both Kurisu and Okabe.
I absolutely loved her complicated relationship with both Kurisu and Okabe; here too it’s actually impressive they were able to implement her friendship with Kurisu in a way that you can buy the both of them were really close and had a deep connection, despite the fact that this is a retcon (as originally Kurisu was meant to be a lonely person without any friends in America) and that Kurisu is dead for the entirety of the story. They do such a great job at portraying Maho’s complex feelings of admiration and resentment and jealousy, all while without never negating the deep love she has for Kurisu, and, as a result, how much she’s struggling with her death (once again, her ending!! is so good!! and her last conversation with Kurisu in there is aggghh. Or how in Mayuri’s ending Amadeus says to her she thoguht Maho was the real Amadeus all along… They’re the second best ship of the series, don’t @ me (even first depending on your perspective ;p)). And in parallel the relationship she slowly builds with Okabe is also very cool and interesting on its own, with how they instantly connect with each other through their shared love of Kurisu and grief over her and manages to develop a deep friendship over it and how it balances and contrast their own character development; I said it during my playthrough but those tow as well as their complex relationship with Kurisu are the actual driving force of S;G0. She basically manages to be a foil and parallel to both Kurisu and Okabe at the same time and it’s just. Very cool.
I also really dig the inherent tragedy of their relationship, because like… obviously I’m sure Okabe and Maho will be able to become friends again in the Steins;Gate world line, but it still will never be the same thing as the deep bond they formed in Beta. In Beta, they specifically became friends throughout Kurisu’s death; that’s something only the two of them can understand and the first thing they’re able to relate to each other, so without it, their relationship will inherently be different — and they know all that, yet are still willing to sacrifice all this just to bring back Kurisu in their lives. And I love how in that sense it also sorts of parallel Kurisu’s sacrifice in the Alpha world line ; just like Okabe and Kurisu’s meeting and romance, Maho and Okabe’s friendship could have only happened in world destined to die.
Although I absolutely could have done without Maho catching feelings for Okabe… I SWEAR I know that S;G is a pseudo-harem but not every single woman needs to be in love with this guy! Stop it, writers!! (I also rambled in lenght about it on my twitter back then but I genuinely think it harms Maho’s character.)
My only grip with them is that it’s actually wild that there is no actual proper confrontation or big reveal over Okabe killing Kurisu. Like it’s something they tease and build up in the two routes, and yet it’s another one of those plotline that is just never resolved? I know the game seems to imply that Maho must have guessed what happened, but there still should’ve been a more emotional confrontation between the two of them at the end; I think it should’ve also played a role in Okabe finally deciding to ‘revive’ Hououin and work towards saving Kurisu; especially if Maho had been the one to forgive him explicitely? But no, I guess, whatever lol.
Anyway, in the end I just… love how they actually allowed Maho to be this very flawed and messy person in her own right and not just go for the route of her being another cute additional girl with yet another crush on Okabe (…even if her STILL getting a crush was annoying but well sdsdfs). What I personally find the most compelling with her is that… honestly, in all of Steins;Gate she’s probably the one character the story... really allow to have ugly and messy feelings? To actively be unlikeable at times. Other characters had that in the og story with Okabe kind of, and a tiny bit with Moeka and Kurisu, but it was never to this level and because S;G0 actually let its characters other than Okabe have POV then she feels much more fleshed out and solid than just the glimpses we get. Honestly, dare I say that even Kurisu, for as much as I love her, doesn’t get as much as a proper arc and character exploration as Maho does in S;G0 (which makes me very mad tbh lmao) There is her entire ending/route dedicated to her to showcase this of course that is very good, but that scene specifically in S;G0′s bad ending ‘Gehenna’s stigma’ is the one that stand out the most to me about this (Gehenna’s Stigma is very messy and weird, but Maho steal the entire spotlight and is amazing in it so I still really like it just for her sdsfs).
It’s not like her character writing is perfect either, because like I said earlier the route structure make it that… in the end some of her development and conclusion either feel pretty rushed (the end of Mayuri’s route) and almost completely cut (Kurisu’s route), and it’s really only in her ending that she gets to have that proper closure. It’s frustrating, because man, it’s your main heroine, you should have done a better job with this! I think Maho’s arc should have been what she goes through in Mayuri’s route + her friendship with Moeka + her ending ALL throughout the game. Also her relationship with Moeka is one of the best thing of the VN and it should have absolutely been a more important part of the story, especially given aside from Maho’s ending Moeka is treated pretty shittily.
Also, man I really hate how in the true end Maho’s codename is ‘Kurisu’? Like!! You do realizes that the biggest point of her character arc is about how she wants to step out of Kurisu’s shadow and how she needs to learn to respect and love herself and her abilities as a scientist and person? Giving her the codename ‘Kurisu’ just goes against everything about this, it just sucks!
Okabe was pretty solid in this too. It was honestly refreshing to have him just be… a normal dude for most of the VN. Because to be honest, one of the things I like the most about Okabe is that he is not actually a ‘chuunibyou.’ He pretends he is one for Mayuri’s sake, but in reality he’s very self-aware about being a very average guy, who is even actually a pretty serious, socially awkward introverted person at heart. I’m always sad that’s not something that’s much more explored than that in the original story, and even here the duality with his made up persona is very… not dvelve much into, or at least not in the way I personally wish it was. Still, here in this case he just feels particularly relatable as a mentally ill, depressed college student desperately trying to run away from reality with the end of the world looming over his head lmao. It was… actually kind of surprising they handled his struggle with PTSD/mental heath seriously and this more-or-less throughout the whole story, with actually showing how much he suffers from panic attacks (well. They still could’ve done more with it though. How come his therapy sessions never come up again after the prologue? I’m so also pretty sure the Epigraph manga actually made a big deal of him being very dependant on his meds, but it’s not every seen mcuh in the VN which is a shame.) But his actual character arc still feel a bit either too rushed at the end or not well-implemented. I don’t like that they choose to have two separate occasions where he ‘revives’ Hououin, because it felt like it lesser the impact it should have had. Personally, again, I think the narrative should have been more linear, and that his ‘revival’ should have ultimately happened after a combination of Mayuri leaving with Suzuha + time travelling into the future + confrontation with Maho about Kurisu’s death.
(The bit with him time travelling in the future is such a cool thing too but I hate how much they... rushed it. Okabe should have stayed a lot longer in the future I think, and it made him seems like an asshole that he wasn’t even williing to interact with Mayuri & co. It’s also super weird that him staying in the future for, like, an hour manages to convince him that war sucks, but in the Vega & Altair route when he’s stuck in warzone Okinawa where he stays A MONTH he’s just like... ‘idk whatever, let’s ignore this and move on’?? WHY are you so inconsistent game!! Although I do hate the way they killed off Luka in the future just to further his angst, it felt veru cheap and shitty.)
One thing I got pretty disappointed about concerning Okabe, though, was the way they didn’t touch much on some of the impact and consequences his actions in the orginal Steins;Gate had, specifically regarding time travel. By which I mean, obviously we see the consequences the events of S;G had on him, but it’s mostly focused on his trauma regarding Kurisu’s and Mayuri’s deaths. There are zero mentions of his guilt regarding what he did to Luka and Faris, for instance; which feels especially off when this time around, Faris and Luka knows about the time travel stuff. You’re really going to tell me that someone as perceptive as Faris never connects some pieces together and confront him about her father? I know that really comes from the fact that, again, Faris and Luka’s presences in the game are nonexistent, but it’s so frustrating. There IS a little bit of something when it comes to Suzuha and Moeka; I really like how initially he feels very awkward around Beta Suzu because she is so different from Alpha Suzu, and how he specifically mentions her suicide in Alpha as one of the events that marked him the most and as to why he refuses to get involved with time travelling again, but honestly in the end there’s almost no conlusion in their relationship (like, they DO try a little in Kurisu’s route, but it still feel unsatisfying?) It’s wild to me there’s no followup, for instance, on Suzuha’s breakdown in Vega & Altair where she threatens him with a gun, we just... never seem them discussing this incident at all afterwards, like it’s just forgotten, when it should’ve been a big deal? And with Moeka/Tennouji, his reaction and relationship to them is also really bare minimum stuff, when again, with them being proper allies this time there should’ve been a lot more done.
So, regarding Kurisu/Amadeus… See, I actually really liked the idea of Amadeus. I think it’s a pretty neat way to use and showcase Kurisu’s research and neuroscience skills --- and yes it was also a way to have ‘Kurisu’ still be in the game even though she’s technically dead, but I think it worked really well in the sense that it ended up making her some sort of ‘ghost’. In general, for the most part I quite liked some of the ways they handled Kurisu’s presence, the way that even if she’s dead almost everything still revolve around her and her ghost haunt every single actions that is taken in the story, not just by Okabe and Maho, but by all the characters. Characters who are dead but still end up haunting the narrative is actually one of my favorite trope in fiction, and that’s why I really enjoyed that aspect of S;G0 because there is something very cool that they do in the way the different people remember and portray Kurisu after her death. So, Amadeus really works for this, in being there to haunt Okabe (and Maho) every step of the way and never letting him escape what happened, no matter how much he wants to (which is then made double so by Kagari’s presence). But it is a little frustrating that in the end… they didn’t do as much as they could have with her? There’s this storyline they hint at about Amadeus developping ‘normal’ human feelings (and specifically romantic feelings for Okabe) and the way she’s Kurisu but also not Kurisu, but they never really do much with this at all? I also dislike how little weight the story give her being deleted in BOTH routes when it should be a much bigger deal, especially emotionally for the characters (again, the only time where it worked for me where in Maho’s ending, which is truly the superior end of them all). So, yeah, Amadeus was a cool concept, but as most cool concept in S;G0 it ended up falling kind of flat at the end.
(On Kurisu, though, I was surprised her parents had no role at all in this. I would’ve expected her father, and hell her mother too, to have a bigger presence. Especially with the way moms appeared to have a much bigger role in S;G0 contrary to the og story, i would have really worked well thematically.)
And, on that sense, although I really liked the way the story make a point to presents Okabe angsting over Kurisu’s death in almost every scene and the whole OkaKuri tragedy (that one moment where they meet again in Alpha…. Yeah it worked for me lol), I felt disappointed that she… didn’t seem to play much of a role at all in the final part of the game. Like yeah obviously in the end Okabe still does all this for her, but that’s why I thought she should’ve been… idk. More integrated in the the final. It felt off, like she was almost sidelined.
And then, there was…. Mayuriiiii…. SIGH. So Mayuri’s the character who disappointed me the most. S;G0 is so damn weird about her, because on the one hand, it is INFINITELY better than what she had in the original game. Like them actually giving her some agency and an actual storyline that doesn’t involve Okabe? GOOD! Because let’s be honest, Mayuri in the original game doesn’t really… does anything besides dying and being Okabe’s motivation for most of the game. And yeah slapping him at the very end too I guess. So S;G0 was definitely a step further from that, and I also think that them deciding to make her a mother was such a great choice; you can argue maybe giving one of your most traditionally feminine female characters whose story only revolved around the male protagonist before now a story that now mostly revolve around her being a mother is not super great, but I think it works specifically because Mayuri’s biggest problem is that she’s always SO infantilized, not only Okabe but the narrative as a whole; so her getting a kid was a really good way to have her actually grow up and some great interesting character development. And she Does get it, for the most part — the last part of her ending where she decides to actually get invovled in all the time travel bullshit and went with Suzuha is one of my favorite things! But then, as I’ve rambled in those threads at large last year, they still… never do more than that with her. Even her big moment at the end of her route come off as not as impactful as it should be, because they don’t build it up at all throughout the route! (Especially since we get NO POV from her, even when the game actually does POV switch! Which is just WILD)
Her perspective on being a mother and her relationship with Kagari is dealt with a little bit in Kagari’s ending, but it’s very… superficial, it never goes into details about what it must be like to suddenly have a grown up traumatized daughter thrown at you when you’re barely an adult yourself, which sucks when that’s the most interesting part of those types of storylines (they do the same with Daru and Suzuha, to be fair, but yeah, it sucks here too lol.) They never let her get angry, never let her move on properly from her codependant relationship with Okabe, hell they STILL barely let her know about hte Big Plot Stuff happenings, EVEN when it concernes HER OWN DAUGHTER. It’s bonkers to me that she never actually get to know what truly happened to Kagari or that she plays no part into getting her back when she’s kidnapped by the Evil Scientists OrganizationsTM.
Mayuri should’ve just been A LOT more involved in the plot as a whole, not just at the very end of her route, and I’m endlessly frustrated that they consitently refuse to let her grow from her Innocent Ditzy Childhood Friend/Little Sister archetype whom Okabe is obssessed to protect, even when S;G0 gave them the perfect occasion to do so!! Her ending was good, but there should’ve been a more proper buildup throughout the narrtive, with moments including her POV; there should’ve been a narrative about her remembering her deaths from Alpha and actually deal with that trauma, there should’ve been an instance where she remembers KURISU too, have her interact with Amadeus and Maho and deal with her complicated feelings regarding her sacrifice, and it should’ve deeply impacted her finale decision to time travel and help save her (seriously, why was Kurisu and Mayuri’s friendship was so undermined??); and ultimately, I’ll always maintain that she and Okabe should’ve had a falling out of sorts at some point and gotten a Divorce Arc, and it doesn’t make sense that there’s no big clash between them other than the fact that the writers refuses to let Mayuri act like a normal, real young woman her age rather than a fantasy. Like… I’ve seen people who apparently complained about her big love confession at the end (although mostly from anime-only viewers, because in the VN Mayuri having feelings for Okabe is pretty explicit) but I’m going to be honest, it’s the least of Mayuri’s problems as a character. I don’t like her being in love with Okabe either as I much prefer their platonic, siblings-like relationship (and to be fair yeah, there are some parts they handled this in S;G0 that I think was shitty, like Mayuri having this speech where she says that in the end she’s the one who loves Okabe more than Kurisu?? Like okay??? Way to randomly do the misogynist trope of pitting your two main heroines against each other), but if they’d given us a proper arc with her where she’s treated like a real person I wouldn’t have given a rat’s ass about this. You people really have weird priorities.
(And on a personal level? I actually like the perspective of Mayuri feeling jealous of Kurisu and Okabe’s bond and feeling left behind (especially in S;G0 when it’s about a dead girl she knows nothing about and who, from her point of view, had nothing to do with Okabe up until now), if only because it’s the ONLY instance where Mayuri is allowed to have ugly feelings and, y’know, feel a bit like a multi-layered normal teenage girl; but it should definitely be handled with nuance and never undermine her love for Kurisu either, which... tbh I don’t trust the S;G to be able to write this lmao.)
And honestly, I also didn’t like the fact that Okabe end up going to ‘save’ her and Suzuha at the end, because it feel like it undermines the ONE heroic moment of agency that they gave Mayuri, to still makes it all about goddamn Okabe in the end. Mayuri and Suzuha DIDN’T need to be saved, because regardless of what they do they’ll get to Steins;Gate afterwards either way so? Did we really need to STILL relegate Mayuri to a damsel in distress status AFTER her big moment?? CAN’T MAYURI HAVE ANYTHING IN THIS GODDAMN SERIES
Related to this, Kagari was… god, she’s such a mess of a character lmao. Okay, so, the thing is that for some reason I can’t really explain I’m actually kind of fond of her. Maybe blame it on Megumi Han’s voice acting that manages to makes her super endearing, but yeah I do actually like her and I genuinely think there could’ve been… so much they could’ve done with her. She’s just a pile of wasted potential. Her story with Mayuri was very touching, and one of my favorite part of the game actually, but they could’ve done MORE. Because in the end, she only really feel… either very bland or annoying. And it’s like, I’ve seen some people who called her… ‘cringy’? Which is a bit of a weird term because, what does that even mean concretely, but it kind of bugs me a little bit because I don’t think there’s something inherently wrong with the way she’s portrayed. She’s a war orphan who was then forcefully separated from her mother and family and was tortured and groomed most of her life, to the point that even as a 22 years old she still has the mind of a child. She’s heavily traumatized. To me her behaviour about being so clingy to Mayuri and throwing tantrums about not wanting to change world lines makes sense, because Mayuri is quite literally her whole world and there’s nothing else that matters to her. Like… it’s wild to me how dismissed her concern that she wouldn’t get to be with her mother again if they go to the S;G world line is, because she’s right? Suzuha seems to have at least some guarantee she’ll still be born (and even then, it’s weird that it’s not something really questionned either), but Kagari has no such thing. Her very existence and only happiness was threatened. So calling her ‘cringy’ annoys me because she’s literally a mentally ill child with such heavy baggages, like what else would you expect from her?
However, I do agree that her writing and characterization is way too over-the-top and super clumsy at times, which makes the character feel very off (…and, also, there’s this fucking stupid twist with Yuki BUT it is one of the worst twists I’ve ever seen in any fiction so let’s just pretend it doesn’t exist lmao). The thing with Kagari, is that I’m very invested in the idea of what she could’ve been; of her being this traumatized girl who has this idealized version of her mother as this perfect, kind person, but who still felt horribly hurt by her when she had to abandon her, and then when she goes to the past she actually has to reconcile those two things all while actually meeting her mom’s younger self and realizing she is her own, flawed person as well. At the same time, I think I did like the arc they tried to give her in her ending of her deciding she couldn’t just cling to Mayuri forever and actually take the active decision to time travel with Suzuha (even if honestly it doens’t make much sense… like what would Kagari do once she gets to the past??), but it didn’t really feel… well build up or earned. I also dislike that the abuse and grooming she went through is like, heavily brushed aside; and her relationship with Okabe was… interesting but also really messed up, and it’s never properly addressed. Because like, Okabe heavily project Kurisu on her, at times even struggle to see Kagari as her own person, but this and the whole plotline where she gets Kurisu’s memories implemented in her just… never really leads to anything…
And honestly, same thing with her having Kurisu’s appearance, like what was up with that? I DID thought it was interesting, and I was so sure they were going to reveal something about how she was a baby created with Kurisu’s DNA for X reason or something, but no?? Apparently she just looks like Kurisu for no reason. Like man. Why. It’s just… I think the idea of her being both Mayuri and Kurisu’s daughter in SOME way was a pretty cool concept, and it especially would’ve been nice to explore this with Okabe’s projection of Kurisu on her and the memories implant where you could’ve had an arc with Kagari ultimately asserting herself as her own person.
And also… I kept thinking that honestly, I think that she could’ve been a very cool final antagonist in a way. Because again, I do believe Kagari’s motive to not go to Steins;Gate are very emotionally resonnant and valid, because from her point of view that’d mean losing her mother and her entire life altogether. This plus with her being abused and groomed by Leskinen, it would make sense she would try to stop the group from saving Kurisu (which would be darkly ironic if Kurisu had been her kind-of bio mother), and actually give her some agency in that story where she’s not just a victim who, in the end, doesn’t really do much of anything in the storyline. And you know, I kept thinking that, I hate what they did with Moeka and her relationship with Kagari in the Vega & Altair route, but I genuinely think that Kagari and Moeka’s relationship could have been very interesting because of how similar they are (both are heavily traumatized and orphaned young women who are desperate for love/parental approval and get used/manipulated into doing terrible things because of this). Imagine if we had a proper redemption arc for Moeka that would have paralleled Kagari’s descent into villainy, and how in the end Moeka could have fought to save her because she knows what it’s like to be in her place?? And how they could’ve done something with Moeka and Mayuri’s relationship through this as well??? (Yes I’m just writing fix-it fanfics at this point but!! Idk it would’ve been cool.) Kagari’s ending in the true end also feel… kind of off but whatever.
Also it’s a detail, but man, I think it’s really ridiculous they gave her some Upa as Mayuri’s memento instead of Mayuri’s grandma’s watch. Like what the hell, the watch would make a lot more sense thematically and emotionally than some random Upa. …Actually, it made me realize that Mayuri never ever bring up her watch at any point in S;G0 which, honestly, is super fucking weird. Did the writers just forget about it???
But anyway. Suzuha is also a character that I really like, and I specifically really love Beta Suzu, and during the first part of the game they actually… do some pretty interesting things with her. At least in Mayuri’s route. For the first part of this route, I love the way they characterize her as being this traumatized, no-nonsense young woman who is struggling between her responsability towards her missions and just spending time with her family that she never gets to have while growing up. I think they do a good job at portraying her complicated feelings towards her parents, and especially towards her mom, and the way at first she keeps exhausting herself until she has a breakdown and threaten Okabe on the roof. That’s one of the rare arc that was actually build up and earned properly in the whole story. However… well, the thing is that after her breakdown they really drop the ball hard with her? There’s no actual proper conclusion to her arc, not with her mother, not with Okabe (they have a little something in Kurisu’s route but not by much), not with trauma. They seemed to put forth an arc where she learns how to be, like, a normal girl her age again in the present era,bu they just… never deliver in the end. I was also surprisingly invested in her relationship with Kagari; the responsability she felt towards her as a big sister and how she failed her and is struggling about the perspective of having to fight her (and the guilt she felt towards Mayuri because of this too!), but here too it’s just… never lead to anything, except for a little bit in Kagari’s ending, but barely so.
And then in Kurisu’s route she doesn’t even get an arc at all. No like seriously, she’s only there to occasionally be a badass and say stuff sometimes, but that’s it. Like?? That’s so disappointing. I’m very sad they didn’t do anything, with, like the resentment and anger she’s implied to have towards her parents and Okabe at times. I swear, Beta Suzuha has so many interesting aspects but in the end they all feel glossed over. (And also, unlike Okabe they do a pretty poor job at handling her trauma… Like guys she was a literal child soldier, you’re not going to tell me she doesn’t have a minimum of PTSD.)
Special kudos too to that one Kagari/Suzuha fight scene where she’s completely naked, and she doesn’t have any scars or muscles or anything. Like okay, man. I think S;G0 in general had a lot of inappropriate fanservice that actually deviated from the story too; like obviously the original game had these too, but they didn’t feel as overwhelming as those and they didn’t pop up in serious moments at least. Seriously, why was S;G0 so horny with no reason sometimes, wtf.
I do really appreciate that they actually took the time to develop her relationship with Daru this time. Daru is also a character that is greatly improved in SG0 because this time around he actually feel… well, you know, like a character, instead of a plot device. He’s still not Good and I hate that they won’t let got of his gross jokes but at least he feel more like a person than just a walking stereotype who’s here to facilitate the plot (that scene in Mayuri’s route where he punches Okabe?? That was very cool. And there’s even one scene where he comforts Okabe after he’s had a panic attack which is… surprisingly sweet?? Like, wow, some genuine feelings between thos bros that let you know they do actually like each other, amazing.) I love how somehow the writers suddenly woke up and where like ‘Hey what if we Tried to write this guy as an Actual Character who's allowed to show varying emotions instead of as a joke?’ But anyway, yeah, it was nice and it really reflected in his relationship with Suzuha; which, again, had its issues but at least it was a lot better than what they did in the original game. Here I could buy at least that he genuinely come to care for Suzuha even while being a bit awkward with having this grown traumatized daughter thrown at him out of nowhere, and even despite some bullshit moments they still had a few nice scenes
Yuki’s character on the other hand was just… fucking bullshit lmao, like god. You know, initially I was pretty excited to learn that Suzuha’s mom would be introduced and play a major role in that story, because I always disliked the way she was completely non-existent in the og story, just as a joke “lol Daru will end up marrying a hot wife.” (Seriously, Suzuha herself barely talk about her when she’s the person who RAISED HER?? ALL ALONE? She should be a lot more importnat to her than her dad!) But in the end... well, there was one of the stupid twist I’ve ever seen in a story with the whole ‘well she was actually Kagari all along!’ in the Vega & Alair route and it’s just!! WHAT was this twist! It’s so ridiculous and in the end serves absolutely zero purpose I’m just… why! Why what the point of showing us those scenes of Daru & Suzuha bonding with Yuki if it was to undermine all of this for that….. And then in Kurisu’s route idk. She’s just there I guess. Being almost as useless as Kaede and Fubuki. Man, would it have really killed the writers to give her some personality and an actual arc and role in the overall story??? Even just a SMALL one? PLEASE? Even her romance with Daru was subpar and like I said her relationship with Suzuha lead to nowhere, so EVEN at just being A Wife and A Mom she fails at it!! (And again, that sucks because imo, her relationship with Suzuha could have been very interesting and nice, and HELL even her romance with Daru could’ve been cute (as long as they portray him as an awkward smitten nerd and not a gross perv)). I hate you, S;G writers. I hate you.
The rest of the characters though were just… kind of there. I’ve already rambled about how useless Fubuki and Kaede were, and how Faris and Luka really SHOULD’VE had their screentime as well as a bigger rôle; but honestly I could say the same with say, the Tennoujis. They also had no purpose in this story, just popping up to reminds you they still exist I guess. Moeka was lucky enough to get a pretty nice short development in Maho’s ending, but it WAS very short and ONLY in Maho’s ending ; the rest of the story she’s either pretty sidelined or treated pretty shittily (like seriously… the way they handle her character in Vega & Altair makes me want to punch someone. She deserves better than this!!) It sucks because her friendship with Maho and the development she gets in her ending is the best thing that happened to her character! I don’t understand why we couldn’t have gotten something like this throughout the entire game? Have her (and Tennouji too!) get a proper, actually ‘redemption,’ this time around (even if they don’t remember what they did wrong) ; let Moeka have a more solid character arc where she learns how to value herself properly thanks to Maho and have her actually interact witn Tennouji so that they resolve their issues too? Idk. I DID like they were allies to Okabe this time, but like… they could’ve done so much more with them it’s disappointing.
And then there were the bad guys, which…. Ugh, okay, not gonna lie but Leskinen and Reyes were very weak antagonists. See, one thing I actually really like in the original S;G is that there is not really a ‘proper’ villain. Moeka and Tennouji all play the part of antagonist throughout the story, but in the end they’re mostly like, victims of circumstances (well, there’s Kurisu’s dad too but he’s something else entirely). The ‘true’ big bad are either : SERN, which for the entirety of its story is just some formless entity that we never concretely ‘meet’ or really understand what it’s about, or it’s just… ‘fate’ or the ‘universe’ itself, as the the thing keep killing Mayuri over again (or Kurisu at the end). And I think that’s one of the coolest aspects of S;G that works very well as its overall theme of coming-of-age story for Okabe. So it was pretty disappointing that they decided to have a pretty classic ‘bad guy’ in Leskinen. Like he and Reyes feel very flat and corny, the story never tries to give them any depth and deeper goals beyond being Evil Mad Scientists,’ and yeah it makes sense as they’re mirroring Okabe what with them being Actual Mad Scientists and all but they still… could’ve had more? There are some instances with Leski & Okabe and Maho & Leski where I thought they had the opportunity to make them interesting, what with him feeling a bit like a father figure for them at times — and the story was very centred around parenthood — but they just never do it, so their ‘betrayal’ are incredibly predictable, and end up feeling ridiculous when Okabe seems so hurt over it too, so in the end they mostly made me cringe. (They could’ve very compelling stuff with Leskinen’s relationship with Kurisu compared to his relationship with Kagari, but noooope... Like I said, it would’ve been SO much more interesting to get Kagari as the final antagonist but ohhh well!)
Anyway, yeah, that’s pretty much it. So I complained a lot, but I do think S;G0 was an interesting ride in the end. I’m glad I got to finally play it because I’ve been wanting to try it since, like… 2015 lol. I feel like there’s some very mitiged receptions on it; I’ve seen some who says it’s better than the og game, and others that it’s worse. Personally I’m somewhere in the middle, but in general I dont think both stories are comparable, they feel more… complementing?
There’s a lot I liked about it, sometimes more than in the og VN (again, stories that dealt with messy grief are always my jam), but also I’m just very disappointed about cause so many cool concepts that could’ve been so much better. I’ve also seen some complaints that the time travel stuff was less well-written than in the original, like with things like Mayuri and Kagari’s song being a bootstrap paradox, but... I dunno, I think there are problems that can be easily found in the original story too. Like, yes, I do think the worldbuilding and time travel science is generally well put togeter in the original story, but at the same time it was never mean to be very grounded or realistic, so those type of details don’t bother me. Same with the ridiculous bigger plot points and all, where it’s like... obviously the whole thing about World War III and the two secret organizations and all are kind of silly, but that’s a type of silliness and over-the-top-ness that’s expected from S;G and that works within its universe. I’ve sait it before I think, but to me Steins;Gate have always been more of a coming-of-age story for Okabe than a time travel stotry, really, and that’s how it works the best.
Now an odd criticism from me maybe but I... didn’t like huke’s art in this? Like, it is a lot more... polished and ‘standardized’ than the art in the first game, and as a result didn’t feel much like S;G. I don’t know, I’m aware some people don’t like it, but to me huke’s arstyle is definitely one of the most charming and defining aspect of the VN (and why the Elite version sucks ass, just like the anime’s artstyle), so I didn’t like seeing it being made more... ‘normal anime,’ I guess. I was pretty disappointed with the music as well too? Like most of the tracks were either the same than the original game, or utterly forgettable...
But yeah! The only thing I really take from it is Maho (she’s now officially my second fave S;G character <3) and everything related to her; her ending is just the best, as well as Maho/Kurisu and Maho/Moeka, truly the best parts of the story, the Okakuri angst, and a liiiittle bit what they tried to do with Mayuri and Kagari. A little. The rest is kind of *shrugs* to me.
I did one of these for Netflix, and people seemed to like it, so here’s the Hulu version! Hulu has a pretty decent selection of anime so there are much more than what I’m shouting out here.
**these shows/movies were on Hulu as of 2/1/20**
My Hero Academia
Steins;Gate
Cowboy Bebop
Demon Slayer
Mushishi
Samurai Champloo
Erased
As I said there are many others, but I also want to shout out Attack on Titan, One Punch Man, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, and Haikyuu! Happy watching!
So…does 0 follow the world where Okabe isn’t able to change “fate” and Kurisu ends up being killed by him? Or he’s just so exhausted that he can’t find it within himself the strength to try and change “fate” anymore when he tried so many times with Mayuri and failed? Hmm so Okabe basically has a year to get himself together, huh? Although I obviously don’t want him to give up, Mayushii’s words telling him that he didn’t need to push himself anymore really punched me in the gut. It’s been a while since I played the original game, but I can still remember Okabe’s pain so well…enough that I couldn’t help but agree with Mayushii.
Lmao at him thinking Maho was a middle school student and was still in disbelief even when she showed him proof that she wasn’t lol. Honestly though, her sprite makes her look like she’s in her 20s with that haggard look. Aaand yep, she’s 21 lol. Moeka looks…all right with her new look, I feel so sorry for Okabe, her appearance flustered him so much that he had to take some anxiety medication to calm himself down… The idea of having your memories as digital data easily accessible on your computer any time, and also downloadable back to your brain kinda concept to help with loss of memories and stuff like Alzheimer’s was pretty cool. Everything basically relies on Kurisu’s research being true, but I guess Okabe knows how well it works. It’s kinda cute that in the original game, Okabe said “objection!” to Kurisu’s belief that time travel was impossible, basically against her, and yet now in this game, he’s saying it to protect her and her research. I guess this is the way for you to attract the attention of scientist girls? Lol. Gotta say though, something about the art in this game doesn’t feel the same or have the same feel and magic in the original… Anyway, Amadeus Maho (culmination of her memories 70 hours ago) is cute, but the idea of this 3D imagery talking with her personality and doing whatever she wants is amusing I guess. And yeah, I’m glad that although Maho got angry with all those sceptics in the audience, she does acknowledge that their research does have many issues they need to still solve. It’s kinda saddening to not see Okabe’s chuunibyou personality anymore but I guess seeing a dejected him is interesting in its own way. Since Maho was a researcher alongside Kurisu, I guess they can bond over her lol, it’s kinda cute how Okabe can talk about Kurisu and I’m happy he chose to open up about it to Maho. I think they both need each other, since it seems that Kurisu really takes up a special place in their hearts. Ooh, Amadeus Kurisu huh? Guess this “fake” Kurisu will make Okabe motivate himself again to save the real her. Being a beta tester for their research is nice~ But yeah, she won’t be the same though since this eight months ago Kurisu doesn’t know Okabe and didn’t come to Japan yet. I guess the explanation of Salieri (apparently someone who was jealous of Mozart yet also deeply respected him) being Maho’s username to login means she felt the same towards Kurisu. Seeing Kurisu on the monitor felt quite weird haha…
Omggg everyone looks so…weird! Especially their clothes! Not a faaan. Luka probably looks the most normal but even then, he doesn’t look really good at all, his hair or face just looks a bit awkward lol. They really don’t have the feel of the original… Anyway, hearing Okabe try and live a normal university life was..weird but understandable haha. It’s saddening to see those flashbacks of Kurisu and how much it’s affecting Okabe that he’s even tried visiting a psychologist… Although it must be difficult for Okabe to distinguish Kurisu and the Amadeus one, it’s not hard for the reader/me since they’re pretty different with the lack of memories and her reactions are sorta different, since she’s more…bland? But I guess the real Kurisu had so many expressions and feelings to express because Okabe grated her nerves all the time lmao. Nice to see Mayushii’s cosplaying friends! I guess Yuki is Suzuha’s mum then? She does seem to like Daru from their conversation. It’s saddening to hear Mayuri herself tell them that Okabe has someone else he likes that’s not her, but considering the person that she is, Mayuri prioritises his happiness above all else. I’m excited for this Christmas party though, sounds like the best time for romance to blossom for everyone as like a happy ending? XD
Lmaooo at Daru being the pervert he is, and then using galge lines on his own daughter hahahah. Ohh yeah lol, you could have known who the mum is just with the last name lol! And yeeep it’s Yuki~ Yuki sounds so similar to Suzuha though, is it the same VA? (Yep, it is) Lol. Hmmm so Mayuri’s future adopted kid time travelled with Suzuha…so where is Kagari now then? Did she age and turn into Fubuki? Ahahaha. I’m happy that Okabe has finally stepped into the lab again…but yeah, will he be able to handle talking to Suzuha? Btw I really like Suzuha’s hair, I think her look is the best compared to the others~ It must be pretty disheartening for Suzuha, she’s risked everything hoping to change the future and yet the person that is most capable of doing it right now is consumed by his depression and thinks that changing fate is something that shouldn’t be changed by people like themselves. I guess I’m kinda shocked in a sense because I thought he’d feel the same desperation he had for saving Mayuri for saving Kurisu this time around, especially since he actually loves the latter. I think it’s very understanding of Suzuha to not push Okabe though, especially since she’s the one that experienced all that pain and that responsibility, I’m sure seeing her mother die protecting her, seeing all her comrades die and having to leave Daru and Mayuri to use the time machine etc must have been very painful for her as well, so for her sake, I’d hope for Okabe to pick himself up soon. Kagari looks like a small version of Kurisu lol, and she looks the most similar to the old art in the original game hmm~ So…does that mean when they split up to search for the IBN 5100 in 1975, Suzuha lost Kagari? And now Kagari is probably like 30 something years old but she’s still looking for her?
It’s kinda cute how [Kurisu] is similar to the original but still herself, she’s sweet. Too bad every time Okabe realises he’s trying to escape from reality, he’s unable to communicate with her and is instead consumed with guilt that he was the one who killed her and isn’t bringing her back. Hmmmm did the world line just change?? Why? Does not taking the call from Amadeus Kurisu make such a big difference? Anyway, first part doneee? Nothing in particular to feel towards the game right now since nothing has really happened, so let’s see how it continues~ But, yeah, I’d say the story isn’t very gripping right now and the slice of life moments aren’t the most appealing either.
published on: february 10, 2023
pairing: okabe rintarou & reader
summary: as luck may have it, you are able to return the mistaken manual to its rightful owner.
word count: 1.8k+
entries: i. | ii. | iii.
note: this is be a multiple-chapters fanfic, and each entry will be numbered accordingly on the top of the story. if you are reading this from a reblog, don’t forget to check the original at my blog, due to broken or missing links!
second note: slight changes, including a pov change from 3rd person to 2nd person!
You have never been one to mingle with the big crowds. They often feel caging, as if you have been locked up with no possible exit in sight or at least an exit that wouldn’t invoke a hundred and then some gazes upon your fleeing figure. Moreover, you always feel claustrophobic when you are surrounded by people, after all. However, if there is free food involved, it is a worthy sacrifice.
It has been based on that reasoning that you decide to attend a seminar at Akihabara Techno Forum, accompanied by a new friend you made at the beginning of the week at University. Perhaps, the reason you two clicked so easily — and so quickly — is because of Naoko’s warm personality, despite her playful nature. Then again, unlike many, Naoko has never once glanced at you as if you were some sort of freak.
However, something had come up at the last minute, and Naoko had been requested by her aunt to come over and watch over her little cousins while she was away for a business meeting. Although the news have slightly upsetted you, you think against going home; after all, you have made your best to draw out time. Spending most of the afternoon in the library, writing down notes and finishing up some homework, you have also wasted some of your time on public transport, not to mention the time you sat outside the building, waiting for Naoko. Life’s too short, you have reasoned with yourself. As well as my wallet.
And that leads to where you now stand — by an exit door as you watch in mild boredom, the ice in your glass twirling along the movements of your wrist as you twitch it to an imaginary tempo. It was an interesting seminar, you wouldn’t deny that, but, because the subject is not really part of your own expertise and you were often lost in context, you had guiltily found yourself drifting into sleep multiple times. Well, if anything, you can just blame it on your unhealthy sleeping schedule and the stress.
With a sigh, you open your purse to pull out your phone, unlocking the screen to find an unread message by Naoko. Unable to fight off the smile that has bloomed on your face, you swipe up.
Naoko
* please, save me orz
* they’re too hyperactive for
an old woman like me
You
* come on, don’t tell me
you’ll give up that easily.
plus, aren’t i the older
one here?
Naoko
* my apologies, obaa-chan
* how was the seminar?
You
* it was interesting, it was
about some sort of AI that
they are developing. it seems
to behave the same as the
original person, while also
having their memories.
Naoko
* oh, that seems cool!
* wonder if they take volunteers?
You
* isn’t one naoko enough?
Naoko
* harsh
* i actually regret not attending,
but it seems to have lasted long
enough for me to have napped at
least through the entire thing
You
* don’t remind me
* i almost fell asleep, but hey,
let’s talk about this more later.
i’m sure the newspaper and the
media will be talking about
this amadeus project soon enough.
In the corner of your eye, amongst the sea of bright colors, there is a sudden spot of black. The bold color immediately draws your attention, and you raise your head to stare. The person has their back turned to you, their shoulders dropped in what appears to be a mix of exhaustion and disappointment. Yet, the more you stare, a confusing sense of familiarity slowly begins to settle in, finally culminating into realization the moment the person turns their head ever so slightly. Your brain immediately replays the events of the previous day — your very first day at Tokyo Denki — but the scenario that you have caused by bumping into another student and stranger makes your cheeks burn in embarrassment.
Suddenly, the weight of your bag seems to increase, as you recall the existence of a red book.
You put your phone away, observing the young man for another quiet moment, and take a deep breath as you clenches a hand around the strap of your shoulder bag. Each step you take, as you near the man who remains oblivious to your approach, makes your heart thump a little bit quicker, and the sound reverbs in your ears. Your lungs fill up with air, one more time, before the anxiety can overtake you.
The man is just within your reach, and you notice how his eyes are ever so slightly narrowed. Before you can distract yourself any further — because you cannot avoid the inevitable —, you reach for him, moving to tap his arm. However, you quickly decide against it and, instead, clear your throat. The man jumps, being abruptly brought back to reality, and he turns around.
His reaction is immediate, and, just as before, his eyes widen and his body goes stiff.
‘Good evening,’ you begin, your heart racing as you fight the urge to look away from that intense and disconcerting gaze. Whatever it holds, it beckons a weird sense of fight or flight within you. You blame it on your anxiety, which is certainly increasing the more the silence grows.
The stranger — or, Okabe, as the name that was written on the manual suggests — opens his mouth, but no sound comes out.
You continue, ‘I wanted to apologize. For bumping into you yesterday, that is.’ You internally debate whether or not you should bow deeply, whilst taking into consideration that he seems to be around the same age as you. Either way, you do a quick bow, ‘Please, forgive me.’
He closes his mouth, his jaw nearly clicking, and clears his throat. ‘No, it’s alright. I should’ve been more careful.’ He chuckles quietly, ‘I admit I wasn’t paying that much attention to where I was going.’
Yet, despite the attempt to brush the incident under the rug, you can still see how he remains tense.
Maybe, he’s just shy and awkward, just as you are.
But, upon seeing how his face appears a bit whiter than it should be?
‘Are you alright?’ you ask, frowning. ‘You don’t look so good.’ You glance around the room and lean slightly forward, lowering your voice. ‘Do you want me to get someone?’
‘Huh?’ He blinks. Then, he waves a hand, whilst giving you a reassuring smile. ‘No, no, I’m alright.’ When you don’t look convinced, he adds, ‘I’m just tired. It’s just been a long day.’ His eyes wander to the side, for a moment, as he takes a deep breath. It almost looks like he is purposefully avoiding your gaze, just as you had tried not to do moments ago. But, you don’t press. Instead, you watch as he exhales slowly. It reminds you of what you often do when you are burdened by your inner storms.
And, just like that, the conversation seems to come to a halt.
Well, you bite your lip, this is awkward.
You begin to reach inside your bag, which draws the student’s attention back to you. ‘Before I forget,’ you say as you pull out the engineering manual. ‘I know this isn’t exactly the best spot to return something, but better now than ever.’ You hand it out to him. ‘It seems like, while I rushed to the classroom, I accidentally took your book, instead of mine.’
He stares at the manual for a moment, before exclaiming in recognition. He carefully grabs the book from your hand — and you try to ignore the sensation left behind by the tips of his fingers against your skin — and opens the cover, nodding upon seeing his name on the very first page. He meets your eyes with another chuckle, although, this time, it doesn’t appear as forced or nervous. ‘So, this is where it was. And here I was, thinking I had lost it.’
‘I’m sorry. I’m too clumsy,’ you give him an embarrassing smile. But, he shakes his head.
‘That’s alright,’ he soothes her. ‘You were in a hurry, from what I can remember. Plus, mistakes happen.’ His eyes widen for a split second, as if he has realized something, and his lips quirk timidly. ‘Then, I’m guessing that the book I took is yours.’
You nod, ‘Most likely. But, no worries. You can just give it back to me tomorrow or whenever it’s possible. It’s okay.’ you suddenly extend her arm, feeling slightly more comfortable as time passes, ‘Oh, where are my manners?’ You give him your name, smiling warmly.
After putting the book under the wing of his arm, the black-haired man gently grabs your hand, a soft smile on his face, ‘Okabe Rintarou. It’s a pleasure to meet you.’
‘The pleasure is all mine.’
Okabe tilts his head slightly, raising an eyebrow. ‘Are you a new student at Tokyo Denki University?’
‘I guess you could say so. I’m doing an internship.’ You look to the side, staring out the distant window as you watch the city lights flicker. ‘I’ve always wanted to visit Japan, anyway. So, two birds with one stone.’
Something shifts in his eyes, but you can’t decipher it fast enough.
‘So, you’ve never been to Japan before,’ he muses, although it puzzles you how it sounds much more like a statement, rather than a question. ‘Which major are you in?’
‘Same as you, engineering.’
‘We may be sharing some classes in the future, then,’ Okabe nods, his smile growing as a joyful glint appears in his eye. ‘If you need help with anything, don’t hesitate to ask.’
You beam up at him. Somehow, you feel at ease when talking to Okabe, despite the fact that you two have just met — well, officially, anyway. Even though you also clicked just as quickly with Naoko, there is something different about this student that makes you feel so comfortable. ‘Thank you! That’s actually very kind of you.’ You will certainly need all the help you can get.
Suddenly, something comes to mind.
‘Wait, hold up,’ you raise her hand, frowning. Okabe blinks. ‘Weren’t you the one, just now, who argued with the audience?’ His back straightens. ‘Something about how skepticism would “stop the progress”?’
The young man grimaces, rubbing the back of his neck. You swear you see a touch of pink beginning to bloom across his cheeks, and you smirk. The amused expression causes him to look away. ‘Don’t laugh,’ he murmurs. ‘It’s embarrassing.’
You cover your mouth, attempting to muffle your giggle. Not that it stops Okabe from hearing it.
As impossible as it would be to believe, his face gets redder by the second. ‘I just—’
‘It’s alright, Okabe,’ you say. ‘You don’t have to explain yourself, especially to me of all people.’ You straighten your back, giving him an approving nod. ‘I actually think you did well to speak your mind. It was brave, and I personally didn’t enjoy the man’s tone, either.’ Okabe pauses, staring at your faraway expression before it quickly morphs into another teasing smirk. ‘For someone who looks so shy, you actually have a lot of guts, huh?’
‘Give me a break,’ his shoulders drop with an exasperated sigh, and his reaction only makes you giggle, once again. Yet, his lips curl into a smile.
