Side point, but until I revisited wikipedia to look up the date of the 2004 adaptation, I hadn’t remembered that one of the men controls his gay husband. Considering modern politics, I feel that’s pretty clever, actually. I feel like I could write a whole essay about queer assimilation and conservative politics using that plot point as a jumping off point.
[Starting a new post because off-topic] You are so SO correct that that detail might be the most horrifying part of 2004 Stepford Wives. It viscerally illustrates the cost of blending in to get ahead — the husbands can be just! like! other! couples! but in order to do that properly, they must replicate the dynamic where one of them has power and privilege while the other is treated as a semi-dependent semi-child for life. They have to make their coupling fit "which one's the husband, and which the wife?" by having one of them become a vapid pink-wearing sillyhead, and one a domineering breadwinner.
Which of course reminds me of Sinners, because one of the big theses of that movie is How Irish-Americans Became White — AKA by learning to trail behind the bullies (the Anglos) and beat even harder on the bullied (BIPOC) so that they'd get let into the white privilege club by ceasing to threaten it. Like, my Irish and Italian grandparents talked about how "Catholic" used to be a race in the U.S., and how it's not that Catholics became white, it's that White Anglo-Saxon Protestants redrew the lines of whiteness to include light-skinned Catholics so that they could keep their majority power over everyone with brown skin.
The people on the margins (white cis gay men, European-Americans from the wrong parts of Europe) can join the privilege club, but to do so they must give up all solidarity with their trans and Black siblings in favor of stomping on those groups with all their might in order to get a leg up. And there are some excellent horror movies that play that out in extremely literal fashion.