1. Angry Asian Murder Hornets
Director: Dustin Ferguson
Cast: Clint Beaver, Jarad Allen, Elizabeth Barstow
Critic’s Notes: There have been many cheap COVID-exploitation movies that popped out last year. And this is perhaps the worst since its less-than-80-minutes running time is filled with disconnected old trailers and ads.
2. Artemis Fowl
Director: Kenneth Branagh
Cast: Ferdia Shaw, Lara McDonnell, Josh Gad, Tamara Smart, Nonso Anozie. Colin Farrell, Judi Dench
Critic’s Notes: Eion Colfer’s YA series is an intriguing antihero’s journey. So, of course, Disney butchered its adaptation with a hastily packaged fantasy that diluted Artemis’ menacing personality and failed capturing its “Die Hard with fairies” setup.
3. Bobbleheads The Movie
Director: Kirk Wise
Cast: Cher, Jennifer Coolidge, Hala Finley, Karen Fukuhara, Khary Payton, Julian Sands, Brenda Song, Luke Wilson
Critic’s Notes: From the producers of Foodfight. It is what you expect. But this is more painful to watch, as it contains the most nightmare-inducing final dance scene in an animated movie.
4. Dolittle
Director: Stephen Gaghan
Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Antonio Banderas, Michael Sheen, Emma Thompson, Rami Malek, John Cena, Kumail Nanjiani, Octavia Spencer, Tom Holland, Craig Robinson, Ralph Fiennes, Selena Gomez, Marion Cotillard, Jason Mantzoukas
Critic’s Notes: With cast and prestige like that, one can expect a true Oscar caliber. However, it is in a family adventure bomb with an embarrassed Downey Jr. phoning it in.
5. Fantasy Island
Director: Jeff Wadlow
Cast: Michael Peña, Maggie Q, Lucy Hale, Austin Stowell, Jimmy O. Yang, Ryan Hansen, Portia Doubleday, Michael Rooker
Critic’s Notes: Blumhouse’s take on the classic Ricardo Montalban TV series does not bear its charm or subtleties. Instead, expect a snore-worthy version of Truth Or Dare.
6. Force of Nature
Director: Michael Polish
Cast: Emile Hirsch, Kate Bosworth, Mel Gibson, David Zayas, Stephanie Cayo
Critic’s Notes: Force of Nature makes The Hurricane Heist look like The Impossible. And the presence of one Mel Gibson makes it a droning sit.
7. Homeward
Director: Michael Johnson
Cast: Joey Lawrence, James Cullen Bressack, Kim Little, D.C. Douglas, Dylan Vox, Jamey Rimawi, Tom Green
Critic’s Notes: Of course, The Asylum is active in bringing mockbusters. And out of their animated rip-offs, Homeward bears the most egregious resemblance to its superior source, Onward.
8. Songbird
Director: Adam Mason
Cast: KJ Apa, Sofia Carson, Craig Robinson, Bradley Whitford, Peter Stormare, Alexandra Daddario, Paul Walter Hauser, Demi Moore
Critic’s Notes: This is Michael Bay’s COVID-exploitation movie. So, it obviously contains numbing action scenes and tedious subplots in-between. Plus, given the situation, Songbird is tasteless.
9. The Last Days of American Crime
Director: Olivier Megaton
Cast: Édgar Ramírez, Michael Pitt, Anna Brewster, Patrick Bergin, Sharlto Copley
Critic’s Notes: There have been many movies last year that were released in bad timing. This actioner that glorifies its lawless violence is one of them. And it is best left rotting.
10. The Last Thing He Wanted
Director: Dee Rees
Cast: Anne Hathaway, Ben Affleck, Rosie Perez, Edi Gathegi, Mel Rodriguez. Toby Jones, Willem Dafoe
Critic’s Notes: A pure disappointment, given the huge talent on and behind the camera, The Last Thing He Wanted adapted an enriching source material about journalism and does nothing with it. Ironically, the title is enough a sign.
Dishonorable Mentions: Christmas in the Rockies, Come Away, A Fall From Grace, Hillbilly Elegy, Wild Mountain Thyme