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I'd actually kill to see Stephen Merrick get Benoit Blanc'd
you think I hated Merrick after seeing the movie? Well after reading the script I AM NOW DOWNRIGHT HOMICIDAL
This guy wears a hoodie and sneakers with Armani suits. I don’t care if he’s my age I take his fashion choices as a personal insult. GET OUT OF MY FACE.
That said, relevant Screencaps from the script with Personal Rants(TM) go under the cut:
Listen, I already hated Merrick because of his utter lack of morals, but seeing him wear a hooded sweatshirt under a suit jacket? I WANT TO RUN HIM OVER WITH A BUS.
NICKY AND JOE ARE SO DONE IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY AT THIS POINT
The Look they exchange when Merrick quotes King Lear at them be like
Nicolò: “Which one of us is going to tell him that you proofread that entire script for Bill, amore?”
Yusuf: “This imbecile isn’t worth the effort hayati, don’t lose your breath on him”
“Can we get the zipties off of them?”
Keane, having a War Flashback: “NO >:(”
Merrick introducing himself as the youngest CEO in pharma... BITCH - YOU’RE TALKING THE TWO OLDEST MEN ON EARTH, GET YOURSELF OFF THE PEDESTAL
HEADBUTT HEADBUTT HEADBUTT HEADBUTT
(Joe was totally taking aim I’m telling you)
FERAL NICKY FERAL NICKY FERAL NICKY FERAL NICKY
Dr Kozak going ‘I see the Nobel Prize’ when looking at Joe’s healing wounds... I’m pretty sure that an ARREST WARRANT FOR KIDNAPPING AND TORTURE are MUCH CLOSER to your future, ma’am.
LOVE IS STORED IN THE HEAD BONQUE
Merrick says that 250k lab rats died on his anti-cancer meds clinical trial... is that a Feasible number of rat losses for animal experimentation in medicine? Like... that’s One Hell of a Lot of animals. It’s not a question of Not Asking their ‘little permissions’, Merrick, it’s called animal abuse at some point. There’s a thing called Ethical Commission that checks for these things.
AND THESE GUYS ARE HUMANS, YOU LITTLE WEASELLY BASTARD. HUMAN RIGHTS DON’T LOSE THEIR VALUE JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE DOESN’T DIE, YOU FUCKING IDIOT. ‘Morally obligated’ MY ASS, YOU’RE A CRIMINAL.
Nice of Copley’s Lone Braincell to Join the Chat again, we’ve missed her.
“You shot Nicky. You shouldn’t have done that”
AAAAAAH, THE SWEET SWEET TASTE OF REVENGE
Super heart-warming vis-à-vis between Andy and Nile in front of that window
“I know how I want to spend the time I’m left with” “You’re gonna spend it with us, Andy”
because, you know, until someone shoots you in the head, you are going to survive this wound, ma’am.
Basically, Merrick sent the elevator down empty to drive Nicky, Joe and Booker away?
Merrick calling Andy a ‘selfish bitch’ be like POT, MEET KETTLE
the next thirty seconds are the visual expression of the word YEET
DEFENESTRAAAAAAAATIOOOOOOOOON
Faster than the elevator
kudos on the special effects department for Nile’s broken fingers re-aligning, holy fuck
Nile getting her own personal ‘hand on the back of the head’ from Andy like ‘ah yes she’s officially Family now’
my brother laughed so hard at seeing them getting into the car like normal people but with their clothes riddled with bullet holes
If you tell me that Nicky and Joe’s first thoughts when they saw Andy and Booker be carried in the lab weren’t ‘that’s a weird strategy to use to get in, but hey if it works’... I won’t believe you. Because I think that for them it’s simply INCONCEIVABLE that Andy wouldn’t just burn the place to ashes to get at them, so she Obviously Has a Plan, right?
Great, I just made myself sad.
Booker being a Little Dramatic Bitch with that ‘I killed her!1!’ Hate to burst your bubble, Seb, but people shot in the abdomen survive ALL THE TIME, it’s not like you shot her in the head, for fuck’s sake.
Nicky WENT HARD with the Words of Doom and Seraphic Face 2.0... “the only reason we haven’t died yet is because it’s not our time yet”
“Your time is coming”
“So is yours” *SHOTS FIRED*
my brother: “You are SO gonna die man, just you wait”
In the meantime, Nile Bursts Through every fucking existing limit of Badass by storming Copley’s house and looking Very Not Impressed with him
THE FACES SHE DOES WHEN HE’S BULLSHITTING HIMSELF WHAT A MASTERPIECE
honorable mentions to “well yes, I’m new” and “it wasn’t your gift to give” TELL HIM GIRL
“What pharmaceutical CEO has a personal army?!” “All of them”
Nile be like ‘we’re gonna eat the rich next’
And Copley wanting to go with her? Hilarious. “I’m the one who Will come out of this alive, so STAY HERE and Mind Your Business, you’ve done enough”
my brother: “You go girl, go kick some ass”
The other four, on the other hand? SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER
(I hope they made every single other person in that lab Exremely Uncomfortable for, like, witnessing a Family Argument)
“We can choose how to live this life and honestly, Booker, you and I have been doing a shit job at it” LOUDER FOR THE FRENCHMAN IN THE BACK
Still don’t know where Joe and Nicky found their shirts, but ok.
Yusuf: “protect Andy, guys”
my brother, sniggering: “Yeah, ‘protect Andy’. Sure, hon.”
My brother be like ‘we are Andy stans first, human beings the second’. I mean, it’s valid.
Who thought that watching six people shooting their way out of a skyscraper loaded with kevlar-covered, army-trained security guards could release so much serotonin? The flawlessness, I swear.
*Merrick found Andy’s labrys and is examining it*
my brother: “how about you lodge that into your skull and do everyone a favour?”
I’m starting to think that Nicky and Joe have bigger problems dealing with gas attacks than the others? I mean, two times people use gas on the group and they’re the ones getting into more trouble for it.
Also, Keane, you little bastard, in case you didn’t notice you are losing. Why do you keep trying to capture them? Even if you did, you think the other three won’t kill all of the guards, then you, then Merrick? STOP TRYING TO HURT MY BOYS YOU BUFFOON
None of us can Deal with Joe looking at Nicky like that. I’m not even trying to.
The Trio driving to Copley’s house going through the fields like ‘roads are a Suggestion you’re not obligated to follow’
Nile not wanting to become a War Machine like Andy and wanting to spend time with her family like Booker tried to do be like ‘rip to you two but I’m different’ (you can’t blame her)
“It’s just you and me Booker, now and forever” AM I HEARING AN ECHO OF YOUR PROMISE TO QUYNH, ANDY? AM I????
Copley and his board looks a lot like that meme of the Conspirancy Theory guy maniacally pointing to various articles on a wall connected by coloured strings, you Know Which One
“Booker?” “I’m here, Andy” AND THEN HE SHOT HER, THE FUCKING BASTARD!!!!!
Ok but when Nile is driving away from Copley’s house she sees some military Hummers driving in the opposite direction... ARE THOSE MERRICK’S THUGS GOING TO COLLECT ANDY??????
This is the day I discover that the thing where you keep a new set of bullets for automatic pistols is called a magazine in English... I have Questions for your language, people. I have Questions.
my brother: “wait, did that son of a bitch give her an empty pistol?!”
I’m as scandalized as you, bro.
Copley trying to explain to Andy that he basically sold her out because ‘her gift can save millions of people if she could just share it’... WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE’S BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST FIVE THOUSAND YEARS, YOU C R E T I N?!
No wonder she answers the world can go screw itself, I’d have done my hardest to spit in his fucking face.
Aaaand enter the Weaselly Bastard, stage left. Looking at Andy like she stopped healing just to spite him (you deserve it, bitch)
“How old are you?” “Come closer and I’ll tell you” BURN HIM TO HELL HON
Booker’s Braincell has Joined the Chat, too late tho her owner has screwed royally in her absence.
Copley being like ‘if Andy dies it’s murder this is wrong’ and Merrick answers ‘as if the CIA didn’t do secret experimentations and didn’t make people disappear’
HONEY JUST BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE DID IT BEFORE YOU IT DOESN’T MEAN IT’S FREE REAL ESTATE FOR YOU TOO
also Copley WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS MURDER EVEN BEFORE ANSWER THE PHONE WE GONNA HAVE W O R D S
Honestly, it seems like three quarters of the problem with their immortality is that they don’t scar, like - if they did, Nile could have easily laughed it off as ‘it looked worse than it was’ and bought herself some time, and also not have freaked out her friend so much.
(I’m probably very weird, but... the platoon’s reaction to Nile after the accident? Like?? How about you guys calm the fuck down, it’s not like she had a personality overhaul, jeez, nice friends you are)
Merrick: “the human lifespan has lengthened thanks to Big Pharma!”
me: Pennicillin wasn’t discovered by Big Pharma YOU BITCH, also it’s not like you single-handedly invented better hygiene conditions and better distribution of nutritious food, you absolute nincompoop!
(I would have Many Objections to even his nicer sounding Plans for the future of the world, if I ever met someone like him I’d Throw Hands so fast you have no idea)
Merrick, a Brat: “I want them All”
Copley, holding his Lone Braincell: “these people are Extremely Resistant to Capture, sir”
Merrick: “just consult with Keane and come up with something, I want them all”
my brother: “is this guy for real? Like, did he see what the heck happened there? He actually thinks these people are going to get caught just like that???”
Also, Merrick complaining that Copley didn’t bring them any good samples and Copley going ‘in case you didn’t notice, they slaughtered everybody in that room, collecting samples was the last thing in our minds’. *sniggers*
