I wish thing's could just be good, and stay good. I hate feeling so helpless.

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I wish thing's could just be good, and stay good. I hate feeling so helpless.
Don't leave me, please.
I think the reason why I hate letting people in is because I know that in the end they are only temporary and they're just going to leave soon.
And I think I might just love you a little.
Once again, I was stupid enough to think that there was something good about you and there was gonna be something good with you.
I honestly just wish people would just respect your decisions instead of question your decisions.
I told you I remember everything you say to me. I use to like that feeling, - remembering all of what you said. - Now, I don't. All those things that you said to me months ago, taunt me and I lost you but I am still so crazy for you.
You taught me a lot. You taught me to become use to being an option and not a priorty. You taught me to expect nothing from the people I should expect the most from. You taught me that not even love can kill an addiction. You taught me that strangers can be put before your on flesh and blood. Most of all, you taught me how to ruin myself. How to destroy every relationship I encounter with a person I want to care for. You taught me that I should keep my guard up, for that lesson I thank but I also despise you for. I want to be dumb and reckless with my feelings, I want to be able to feel and learn from new emotions. I don't to always feel stupid, angry and sad! I want to feel happy... Just for once!
I've been chosen over many things in my life, this wouldn't be the first time someone preferred someone or something over me.