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Mr. WPNZ being a stereotypical dad core (ft. Mr. Puzzles)
That Suburban Dad Life
Nicholas Fletcher was young, but he was well on his way. A young ad exeuctive who lived in downtown Chicago. A stunning new condo at Wolf Point that looked directly down the south branch of the Chicago river. Not everyone was so lucky. And did he care? Not at all. Selfish. Unlikeable. Cutthroat. Just some words that described Nicholas Fletcher. At least he had the heart of Ms. Annabelle Davis. She came from a wealthy family and Nicholas saw it as a way to get ahead in his career. Today was the day he was going to propose to the “love” of his life. Unfortunately he was running late.
“God dammit. Stupid traffic. Why won’t these pedestrians move out of the way”, he said.
In his impatience, he accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the brake and hit an old woman walking in front of his car.
“Oh fuck” he said.
He got out of the car and walked to the old lady who had fallen. He tried to help her up but she swatted his hand away.
“I don’t need help. Could you not see I was walking” she screamed at him.
“Look lady, I am on my way to propose to my girlfriend. I don’t have time to wait for some old lady from the suburbs to cross the road. I’m sorry.
“Young man, you are impatient and unkind.”
“And you are kind of a dramatic bitch. Get up off the street so I can go.”
“All you young men are so rude. You call me suburban. I bet if you were suburban, you’d have some patience and manners.”
As she stood up, she whispered in his ear “I curse you. The next time you meet a woman from the suburbs, you are slowly going to turn into her ideal companion. It’ll teach you some manners and respect.”
Nicholas laughed as she slowly walked away. He got back into his car and sped away to Alinea.
He parked his car and was walking inside just as a young woman was walking out, crying. He tried to avoid her, but they accidentally bumped into each other.
“Oh I am so sorry. My boyfriend just dumped me. I came in all the way from Elgin and I thought he was going to propose, but he dumped me!” She started cring again.
Nicholas didn’t know how to respond, so he just muttered sorry and kept walking into the restaurant.
He greeted Annabelle and sat down. He had arranged to have the ring be presented as part of dessert. As they talked all through dinner, Nicholas felt off. He couldn’t get comfortable. Everything Annabelle kept talking about bored him. He just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him and decided he wasn’t going to propose. He called the waiter over while she was in the bathroom and got him the stop the proposal. After finishing dinner, he parted ways with her and went home.
As he sat in his living room, he felt this weird urge to drive out to Elgin. He couldn’t shake the feeling so he decided to do it, and went into his room to change. He grabbed his cubs jersey and jeans, but for some reason he tucked his jersey into his jeans. He had to admit it looked dorky, but didn’t untuck it.
He got into his car and drove out to the Elgin. He didn’t know where he was going so after driving around passing house after house, he went downtown and ended up at a bar. He sat down at the bar and ordered a beer, even though he normally got a martini. The game was on and he was enjoying it even though he rarely watched sports because he was always working.
After a while a young woman sat down next to him. They started talking and they had a really good time. He knew he should go home and call Annabelle, but he was having a good time. Hours passed and suddenly it was time for the bar to close. He paid for her drinks and they walked out. They ended up kissing goodnight and he got back into his car. Only when he got in, did he realize the woman was the woman he had run into hours earlier in the city. He couldn’t believe it. He drove back into the city and went to bed.
Weeks passed and Nicholas changed. Annabelle kept calling him but he dodged all of her calls. His performance at work went downhill. For some reasons, nothing was making sense. He stopped going to the gym and he started gaining weight. He even let his facial hair grow in more. Every time he looked in the mirror, he thought he was starting to look more like his father. Finally his boss came into his office and told Nicholas he had to take some time off of work. He needed rest. Nicholas realized he was right and went home.
A week passed and Nicholas didn’t leave his apartment at all. Finally he felt the urge to go out and went to put on some suitable clothes. However nothing fit. He had gained so much weight that he was no longer a 32 waist. He found some sweatpants and decided to go shopping to get some clothes that would fit. On instinct, he drove out to the suburbs and went shopping at Kohls. It seemed to go by in a whirlwind and he found himself back home with bags and bags of clothes. As he looked through the bags, he realized everything he bought was not fashionable. It was all dad attire. He pulled out a a polo shirt and some cargo shorts. He laid them on the bed and started laughing. This was not him at all. It was something he thought some dad out in the suburbs would wear.
Then something came over him. Some insane urge to put on the clothes. So he stipped down. First he put on a white undershirt. Then he slipped on the polo shirt and buttonened one button. Then he put on the cargo shirts and tucked in his polo shirt. He grabbed a brown belt and cinched it around his waist. Then he grabbed a pair of white socks that he bought and put them on and pulled them all the way up. Then he slipped on a pair of sneakers and grabbed a baseball hat. He stood in front of the mirror and laughed. With his weight gain, and with his beard grown out, and with these clothes on, he could have passed for some suburban dad. He started laughing and then his body seized up.
Suddenly, Nicholas felt everything in his brain shifting. Thoughts of ads and revenue were replaced with electrical knowledge and wiring. Late nights at the office were replaced with thoughts of relaxing in a recliner with a beer watching sports. Weekends spent at the club were replaced with thoughts of grilling for the neighbors and mowing his lawn. Finally thoughts of Annabelle were replaced with thoughts of the woman he met at the bar, Natalie Richards. Nicholas suddenly snapped out of it. He looked around his trendy highrise apartment and knew that it was all wrong. He didn’t belong here. He belonged in the suburbs. He grabbed his keys, got in his car, and drove back to Elgin. For some reason he knew exactly where Natalie Richards lived. He got out the car, took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell. She answered the door.
“Hi Natalie, it’s Nick Fletcher. You may remember we met at the bar a few weeks ago. While I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, and was just wondering if you would like to go on a date?”
“Oh Nick, that’s so unexpected. Yes, I would love to. Just give me a few minutes to get ready! And don’t you look cute!”
Nick stood outside and waited for Natalie. He struck up a conversation with some neighbors about the cubs performance. Time flew by and Nick and Natalie went on there date. Everything was perfect.
15 Years Later
Nick couldn’t believe how the years had flown by! The very next day after his first date with Natalie, he put his condo on the market and quit his ad job. He broke up with Annabelle and found a place out in Elgin. He also started his own electrician business with all the knowledge he had somehow gained out of nowhere. After six months of dating, Natalie and Nick got engaged, and six months later, they got married. Every part of Nick’s old life was gone. He no longer dressed in trendy clothes. He didn’t keep up with everything going on in the world. He wasn’t concerned about being at the top of his game. He just wanted a good stable homelife for himself, his wife, and his future family.
Nick and Natalie quickly got to business and had four wonderful kids, Michael, Jacob, Elizabeth, and little Nick Jr. They had to buy a bigger house in the suburbs and that was okay by them. There was now room for a pool out back and a ping pong table in the basement. Sure it was more expensive, but the business was doing well, and he could always save money other places. Anything to make his family happy was worth it. Yes he had gained more weight, and yes his hairline was receding, but he was happy. He had a good, steady middle class job, a good house in the suburbs, and a family who loved him. What could be better?!
cockadoodle- DADDYWISE aka PENNYWISE 🤭😍
This one’s a lil late but you’re welcome!
Welcome to the world Daddywise <3 there is definitely no other way to interpret this prompt :v
Weirdly enough I love these clown babies so please name them!
Keep the suggestions coming! Cock-a-doodles are every other day~ this one was late so the next one is tomorrow~
Mr. WPNZ being a stereotypical dad core (ft. Mr. Puzzles) PART 2!
Featuring prompts from the one and only @emo-gremlin!
I could lie and say I’ve been busy for not posting more stereotypical Mr. WPNZ dad stuff, but in reality I’ve been binge playing VRChat trolling as ENA, Mr. Puzzles, and Grug from The Croods on Murder 4 and Audience Anarchy plus just socializing with a few friends on there. I should be searching for more ideas for videos as well, but I’ve been focusing on playing the game for some reason. It’ll probably pass because I’m getting closer to final exams. Just hang in there!
Also I have a video scheduled for tomorrow at 4 PM EST and boy oh boy you guys are not ready for it
Thanksgiving Transformation Nightmare - Part One
BlueLite on main was the hottest gay bar in town. Next week is Thanksgiving so they are hosting a special Thanksgiving theme party. “Dress as your Parents” since so many people go home for thanksgiving. However, BlueLite has special powers. Let’s follow some of our friends on their life changing adventure.
Eric and Steve were hanging out at Bluelite just like every Saturday night. They had both grown up in the Midwest with stereotypical parents, so they dressed like their suburban dads. White t-shirts tucked into sexy jean shorts, white tube socks and sneakers, with phone clips and baseball hats. Eric even grabbed a pair of fake glasses to wear.
“Eric, we look ridiculous. Let’s pray to Madonna herself that we never turn into our fathers.”
“Steve, hon, absolutely not. We are two hot, stylish gay men. No way would we ever dress like this.”
“Get us two more of these lime life twisters. I can’t believe they have never served these before. So good!”
Eric went to the bar to order two more. They kissed each other, cheered their drinks, and drowned them. After they finished, they realized everybody had stopped dancing.
“What the hell” Eric said.
Suddenly, a wind whipped around them and they started changing. First, the weight packed on everywhere on their body. Their faces sagged and they gained second chins. Their stomachs bulged and sagged over their belts. Their jean shorts repaired themselves and lengthened to their knee caps. Their bodies aged 35 years so that they were 63 years old. Bushy gray moustaches grew on their upper lips. Their baseball caps became generic and flipped around to face the right away. Eric’s fake glasses blew over to Steve’s face and turned into real glasses. Finally, every memory of their old lives disappeared, and were replaced with new memories of marrying the women of their dreams, settling down in the suburbs, and raising multiple kids. The winds disappeared and everyone was dancing again.
“Eric, are we in one of them gay bars?”
“I think so Steve. How’d we end up in here. I thought we were going to Richie’s down the street for some beer.”
“Well, it’s too late now. I have to get home and help Carol get the house ready for Thanksgiving.”
“Sounds good buddy. See you soon. Tell Carol and the kids happy Thanksgiving from Susan, the kids, and I.”
“Will do, Eric.”
Both the men got into their Ford F150’s and drove home to their loving wives.
They were the first of only many victims of the Thanksgiving Theme Party at Bluelite. Better watch out, I hear those lime life twisters are vicious.
