#steroline talk

[blyedeeks]

@ohmypreciousgirl

I JUST WATCHED THE VIDEO AND IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST SCENES OF TVD AND DEFINITELY ONE OF THE BEST PROPOSALS!!!! IM PROUD OF THEM!!! I TEARED UP AND EVERYTHING!!!! THEY ARE GONNA GET MARRIED!!!

“you’re my Family now”

THEY ARE RIDICULOUS

HE SURPRISED HER, THE RING IS GORGEOUS

“Like a friendship ring or-”

Carolins is still the best i’m crying

“As a token of my love” - STEFAN IS BEING FUNNY HE ONLY DOES THIS WITH CAROLINE HELP ME

THIS SCENE WAS TOO MUCH NATY

[fallingslowly8718]

The Irony of Damon, Katherine and Steroline

I was actually discussing this with eternal-steroline- flame about how I found it ironic that Damon and Katherine both had a hand in Stefan's state of mind when we are introduced to him, and some of the demons he faced within the series. Now to make it perfectly clear, I'm not saying they  are solely responsible. There is much at play in the inner workings of Stefan Salvatore's misery. In different ways, though, they each have their role to play. One of out of revenge, one out of what they believe to be love. Because we know Katherine loved Stefan, but the girl was also a survivor and she will always have my respect. The irony comes with Caroline. Damon and Katherine both had a hand in her becoming a vampire. Damon's blood was in her system, when Katherine killed her. Caroline, who had been a source of comfort and joy for Stefan. I dunno, I just found it kind of ironic that a source of darkness for Stefan helped create someone who would be a source of light for him? I dunno, I explained it better to eternal-steroline-flame.

[blyedeeks]

Can we talk about how, on 4x03, Stefan was dealing with Elena and her new vampire life, and he was just so freaking scared of losing control:

When I'm with her, every bone in my body tells me to join her, to enjoy it. But I know that if I do, even a little I risk becoming him. The ripper. I love her, and I don't want to hold her back.

But you don't know how to be around her and still resist that urge.

To which Caroline replied:

Come to me whenever you want, and I won't let you lose control

Now, let’s think about this for a moment.

Because what Stefan just implied there is that he’s in control when it comes to Elena. 

He was never afraid of this, specifically, before (at least he never expressed this concern. even if he did say he had to fight his blood urges around her - but again, to do that... he was in control most of the time).

And on this scene, he’s terrified of losing his control around Elena (do note that he hasn’t lost it, he’s just afraid of losing it), he’s terrified of letting go and having fun with her because he might become the ripper.

(again, he’s in control still. He was in control the whole time.

and he didn’t lose it later either)

What’s even more interesting is that Caroline is the one he went to. Because he trusts her - more than he trusts Damon  - and because he thinks she can help him with that.

What I find amazing here is not this imense trust he has on her at this point. Is the fact that he isn’t afraid to ask for her help. Because, when someone helps you, he or she are going to see you in your darkest place so they can pull you out of it.

Stefan wasn’t afraid of losing control around Caroline even here.

Now, let’s see 6x21:

That's because you're a control freak who's lost control. I feel the same way when I'm around you. That's what falling for somebody is. It's being vulnerable. It's Giving up control

Whoa, wait a minute, what a huge freaking change.

Unlike 4x03, Stefan is not afraid (AT ALL) to lose control. And he can say this with 100% honesty because he indeed HAD LOST CONTROL already.

The “worst thing” that could ever happen to Stefan on 4x03 - losing control, becoming the ripper, enjoying himself around Elena (which didn’t happen) - happened with Caroline on 6x17 and 6x18. 

Stefan watched Caroline have fun, he joined her, he lost control, he even became the ripper for awhile.

And you know what happened?

The first thing he did after getting his humanity back was going after Caroline.

He didn’t need a friend to help him out when he was around Caroline, he didn’t need someone else to talk about what they did and he wasn’t afraid of being around her even after all that happened. 

Instead, there he was, telling her that it is okay to lose control sometimes- because that’s what you do when you’re in love.

How come he didn’t have the same insight when he was with Elena?

How come he suddenly became so fearless??

I don’t know what makes me happier: the fact that Caroline was an extraordinary sober sponsor, that Stefan grew into himself too,  that he’s not afraid of his ghosts around her or that he finally understands what it means to be in love (only) now that he’s fallen for her.

[blyedeeks]

Isn’t it funny though how Caroline’s list was actually Caroline like (unlike what she said) and at some point, wrong?

And by funny I mean, there is something else driving her away from Stefan, something that isn't her list- but rather something else that made her create that list and see things from a biased perspective.

Okay, let’s go item by item of the list:

1) I started obsessing over where you were, wondering why you weren't returning my calls.

ok but... why is this wrong? when you best friend goes missing and doesn’t return your calls, you naturally worry. And, yes, you might get obsessed. You probably do get obsessed.

Is this un-Caroline like?

NOt AT ALL. In fact, we all predicted this would happen. Caroline knew there was something wrong with him, she knew he was running away and she needed him - as a friend. The fact that she kept wondering where he was is actually, part of her control freakiness. Part of who she is.

Because while everyone was ok with Stefan’s decisions and they just let him keep living as if he was starting over, Caroline wasn’t, not only because she had feelings for him but because everything was falling apart, because she needed him and because she knew he needed to face reality.

That’s Caroline. That was nothing out of character here.

Of course her feelings influenced her, which is why she's blaming them here, but they were not the only reason why she felt that way back at the beginning of season 6, nd te were not the only reason why she was after Stefan.

2)  I told you I hated you when I felt ignored

And, again, what is wrong about that?

Caroline is clearly undermining the events of early season 6 (this also happened on item 1).

The way Caroline says it, and the way she probably sees it now, is that she was this girl running after a boy and he ignored her and she, like a petulant child, said she hated him.

The reality of what happened is that Stefan was (and is) her best friend. He wasn’t some guy she barely knew and that ignored her. She was the person she needed and trusted the most, and he avoided her. He wouldn’t speak to her. He wouldn’t be there for her or let her be there for him - when your best friend does this, it hurts.

Stefan was wrong, not Caroline. Even if he did have his reasons (which i get), he could have handled things better. He could have called and talked to her at least a little. But he didn’t. He disappeared, he ignored he calls, then he acted like a jerk when she found him.

What kind of friend is that ?

When she told him she hated him, all of us approved her speech because we saw all that and we felt where she was coming from. It wasn’t about a crush or even romantic love. It was about Caroline being upset about all the things that could have ruined their solid and very important relationship, which include their feelings but also Stefan's mistakes

(and those mistakes were more important because I don't think Caroline would talk about her feelings at that point in their relationship if Stefan hadn't run away  andif Enzo hadn't exposed them).

3)  missed my mom's final moments because I was kissing you, - and then she died +  And all I needed was for you to tell me that you felt something for me, and you didn't, and it affected me so deeply that I did the worst possible thing a vampire can do. I turned off my humanity, and when I thought I couldn't do anything else, I got you to turn off yours

These items were downright wrong. Or at least debatable.

Caroline didn’t miss her mom’s final moments because of Stefan. Stefan happened to be there with her on 6x14 because he offered. As we all remember so well, Caroline told him to leave if he wanted to - and he said no. Caroline didn’t beg for him to stay, she wasn’t there because of him either. She was, again with her control freakiness, trying to make sure her mom’s last days were perfect. 

If Stefan weren’t there she would have missed her mom’s final moment all the same . Because she'd be at that damn cabin searching for books or aything else.

As for Caroline turning it off. We got a scene about it on 6x15, Elena asked Caroline if she would still turn it off if Stefan’s answer had been any different... Caroline’s answer was this :” Well, he didn't, so it doesn't really matter. My mom is dead, Elena. I it hurts so bad, I can't breathe, I can't I can't do worse, I can't, ok? I shouldn't have to “.

So ok, Stefan’s answer was part of the reason why she turned it off, but can we really blame it on her feelings? 

Watching 6x15,  and maybe episodes after, i get this impression that... Caroline just needed to hear something good that day. Because she was already surrounded by all that pain and all that hurt because of her mother’s death (and Damon's comment only made it worse).She just hoped she could get that emotional comfort from Stefan:

I want to talk to him about it, but if it's bad, I feel like he won't be honest, you know, not today. Then talk to him about it tomorrow.You already have a lot on your plate. No.I think I need to know today.

Well, then, brother, stop wasting your time sitting here with me. I think she could use a piece of news like that today.

(why? Why that day? Not to state the obvious here but, her feelings f Stefan were clearly not what was driving her emotional state - the looked more like a distraction from the feelings that were really bothering her)

And all I needed was for you to tell me that you felt something for me

The fact that she didn’t get that comfort, that good piece of news - or didn’t think she got it - was just another stab to the wound. But it wasn’t the true cause of her pain. She didn’t turn it off because Stefan didn’t tell her what he felt, no matter what Caroline or Stefan say, she turned it off because of her mom.

(just like she turned it on because of her mom, with Stefan’s help again)

As for Caroline making Stefan turn his humanity off - I consider this an odd thing to discuss, really. It’s hard to talk about having control when she was in a state of having no control by definition.

She made Stefan turn it off because of her feelings? Yeah, that was part of it. But the biggest issue was that she turned it off in the first place,which brings us to what I said above again.

--

In the end, what I wanted to say is ...Caroline basically blamed everything that happened on season 6 on her love for Stefan when there were many other things going on.

Many other heartaches and many other feelings.

Which leaves us with Stefan's line about Caroline losing control, which made a lot of sense.

Caroline is afraid and she' feeling guilty, and she's blaming herself for everything that happened (as we watched on 6x20) but the truth is that most of the things that happened were all out of her control and not even her fault. But it's hard for someone like her to accept that.

She can't lose anymore control so it's easier to just stay away from her feelings for Stefan and believe that doing that will get her control back as it was.

It doesn't mean she's right about what she said and about what her feelings made her do.

[blyedeeks]

BUT

I just saw a gifset of the parallel between Stefan and Caroline holding hands on 5x04 and 6x21

and it is so freaking deep

Because on both scenes Caroline is grieving about everything that she’s lost, everything that she doesn’t have:

6x21

But where I'm at right now in my life with the guilt and the grief, control is all I have, and I don't think that I can give that up

5x04

I'm never gonna see her again, and I have no idea where Tyler is, and I just got so used to them being there all the time, and now what? I'm supposed to just learn to move on without them.How do I do that when all I have is this sadness and this anger and -

Me.You have me.

And this is so incredible because, besides the fact that this was the pre-finale episode (which says a lot), this parallel only proves what Caroline is thinking and feelings is temporary and “wrong”. Not that what she’s feeling is wrong, but what she’s believing is wrong.

She’s not alone and control is definitely not all she has. Now we just have to wait until she sees it.

[blyedeeks]

So ... about Stefan letting Caroline walking away again...

the problem with Stefan is the same problem as always

He’s so freaking afraid and he feels very guilty

(let’s keep in mind here that Caroline has a lot of problems too but let me talk about Stefan and why I think he let her walk away, didn’t hug her and so on).

Stefan was always very afraid of whatever this thing is that he has with Caroline, that he feels for Caroline. We kept saying it for weeks, how Stefan didn’t know exactly what he was feeling or that he didn’t want to accept it, because of his past with Elena and because of his friendship with Caroline.

It became canon on 6x16 that he was indeed afraid. 

And that should be funny, shouldn’t it?

 It should be funny that he was admitting this to Caroline on 6x16 and that on 6x15 he couldn’t answer her what she wanted, when he told Liz before those moments that if he was going to start something with Caroline, he wanted it to be perfect.

I mean.... what the heck, Stefan?

That sounds a whole lot like someone who clearly has feelings, and deep ones, for someone. You don’t need things to be perfect with someone you don’t care deeply about.

But it does make sense. It makes sense because, at least to me, it seems like this is more proof that he was incredibly scared.

Because Liz was right, it’s crazy for him to wait for the grief and loss to end. It’s crazy for him to wait for the perfect moment in a town where that moment doesn’t really exist.

But Stefan cares for Caroline. And she just means too much for him. And she’s too special. His feelings were a mess and Caroline deserves more, she deserves better. And things CAN’T go wrong because then he’ll lose her, he’ll lose them, it will ruin things.

(it’s pretty perfect because that’s what happened to many steroline shippers. We had this perfect, untainted ship with all it’s sunshine and suddenly the angst came and then the darkness and we felt like Stefan... like we just wanted things to be perfect. We would wait forever if we had to)

The thing is, Stefan still is afraid. 

By the end of the episode, when all of her humanity is back, Caroline looks at him and says that she’s ruined everything over and over. It’s pretty clear which everything she’s talking about. Of course she’s talking about herself and her friends, but she’s also talking about them.

how can I be ok after everything that I ruined? Just don't worry about me.

I'm not gonna turn it off again, but you and us.... 

And it freaking HURTS cause this is EVERYTHING Stefan didn’t want. 

This is exactly what he’s afraid of and maybe the problem is that....... he agrees with her even if just for a second. 

Even if he’ll change his mind later... he just remembered how he told Liz he wanted everything to be perfect and now they are everything BUT. So maybe he thinks she’s right. Maybe he doesn’t know what to do anymore.

And he lets her go, because he’s afraid of what has become of them, of what happened, of what can still happen. 

Because he’s probably so freaking sad about what happened to them.

And to make things worse, he feels guilty. 

Right at the beginning of the episode, he said an interesting thing:

what happens if eventually you get your humanity back and you hate me for destroying the last thing your mom wanted to say to you?

The moment he said it, my heart broke. Because I knew that ,Stefan being Stefan, he’d feel so freaking guilty the moment that Caroline went back.

And she did, and she grabbed the ashes of the letter, and she begged for him to give her more of his mother

but he couldn’t do anything.

And as much as Caroline (wonderfully, lovingly, beautifully) didn’t blame him and only blamed herself, we’d be fooling ourselves if we didn’t think he didn’t blame himself (a lot).

Stefan, like Caroline, doesn’t blame her for the things that have happened (also,  wonderfully, lovingly, beautifully - i love this ship can you tell). He blames himself, as we watched on 6x16:

Damon, if she kills somebody, I - It's not your fault, Stefan.

Caroline is going to snap, and when it does, it's gonna be my fault because I am the reason that she did this( ...)Her mother died, her world was turning upside down. She asked me one simple question, all I had to do was tell her the truth, and I didn't. Now look me in the eye and tell me that I couldn't have stopped this.

So there is that and all the things Stefan didn’t say but we know that he feels guilty about. Like what he made Caroline do and what they did together, so on.

So maybe Stefan didn’t want to see her either when Alaric and Jo asked him why he was going away. Maybe he doesn’t think there’s anything he can do after all that damage.

Maybe he also knows she must feel as guilty as he does and facing each other will only make it hurt

(and it is a selfish thing to feel, but so so human)

And maybe, when he does go see her, he doesn’t run after Caroline because he still can’t face her after everything he’s done,  he can’t face her when all this guilt is crippling them, crippling them both. He doesn’t follow her because he wouldn’t even know what to say. He knows that whatever she is feeling right now won’t go away just as much as whatever he is feeling won’t either.

[blyedeeks]

Rewatching 2x03 and fangirling sO badly

GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH WHY MUST STEROLINE BE SO CUTE

THEY WERE EXTRA CUTE ON 2X03 I CAN’T HANDLE THIS

(which was the first episode that made me ship them for real and bad and a lot even when i thought it was hopeless

and dang it. knowing everything that is going to happen and watching this KILLS ME)

[blyedeeks]

dang it

i need a friend irl that ships steroline and can appreciate how much fun i’m having with this poll thing

my friend DOESN’T UNDERSTAND HOW HUGE THIS IS

Imma cry