Feb 15, 2020
Still figuring things out, but therapy has helped a lot. I've come out to my close friends with my gender identity. It's good.
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Still figuring things out, but therapy has helped a lot. I've come out to my close friends with my gender identity. It's good.
Now that I'm 24, I feel like there are several things I should have in order...plus the clock is ticking. So many components in my life still not in place...
Today in my one yoga class a year...
So I'm doing the Artist's Way, and its going pretty well. You journal every morning and take yourself on a date each week, and find your Artist again. It sounds like I'm mocking it but I'm actually not. I'm noticing things happening already, changes I'm making for myself. Like this for example. Whatever this is. I haven't gotten to the part where you stop feeling self-conscious and stupid for creating something yet.
So I'm doing the Artist's Way and this week as my "date" I went to a yoga class. The weird kind that opens up your mind grapes, reconnects you to your third nipple, that kind of shit. So I went and did the deep breathing and legitimately tried to be open and release all the mind baggage I hold onto. I let myself be vulnerable. I let it flow. And then the awkwardness happened.
Apparently you can't yoga all the way if you are..."flowing". So in a class of only four people where everyone could see everyone, the teacher stopped us to make it clear that if you were on your cycle you had to sit the next move out. No plow for me. So I had to sit there with a big Scarlet letter P on my chest. While everyone else went into plow and thought about how I'm on my period and laughed and threw stones. Mind stones.
Why cant I yoga all the way whilst on my lady times? Does the blood run into my brain? Am I a dumb dumb for being embarrassed that people knew I was on my period there, but I'm fine putting it on the internet? And lastly, how do I end my blog post about it? No seriously, how does one end these things when the story they were writing turns out to not really go anywhere? Just like this?