#stillhoping

[astralblue24]

Depression

Walang permanente sa mundo. Ang tanging permanente lamang ay ang pagbabago. Lagi mong isipin na balang araw ay mababago ang iyong sitwasyon at aayon ulit sayo ang mundo kaya kapit lang. 

[stillhopeful]

You see, I can face unfairness that is forced on me. I can be submissive if you want me to be, but how can I see the pity on your face directed towards me? How can you see the tears which are yet to be surfaced?

How do I stand when people around can see that I am treated unfairly and fight for me? In my mind, I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve to be fought for. I have to play the cards I've been given. No matter how shitty they are. It's your life, you've got to deal with it.

I am not weak and I can fight for anyone else just not me. You see, that's the thing, my mind is whole different person, at a certain moment I am the boss lady who can get whatever she wants and the next the porcelain doll which will break when treated inappropriately. And I am the fragile thing that endures everything and is constantly breaking inside without a trace of it outside.

Is it normal? Or appropriate? Am I mentally unstable? Tell me, oh, someone tell me. So that I can attach my one more fault in the list of flaws I own. It is a long list already. *sigh* and I am still figuring it out. The life, the people and most importantly myself.

[malcolmrei]

#GreatRead 🤓📚💡🤎 #APromisedLand #StillHoping @barackobama 🇺🇸 The book is so long I had to buy the audio book too! #highlyrecommended 🖤 #Invictusgrouprei #DivineNine #AlphaPhiAlphaFraternity #AlphaKappaAlphaSorority #KappaAlphaPsiFraternity #καψ #φνπ #OmegaPsiPhiFraternity #DeltaSigmaThetaSorority #PhiBetaSigmaFraternity #ZetaPhiBetaSorority #SigmaGammaRhoSorority #IotaPhiThetaFraternity #achievement #BrooklyNupe #PhiNuPi #RealEstate #breuckelen #breuckelenrei #breuckelenborn #USMCveteran @usmarinecorps #PrattGrad1990 @prattinstitute #malcolmrei Τελειωοις (at Bedford-Stuyvesant) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNz8gIKDR79/?igshid=uumpf3cxa3qn

[fables-of-the]

[renielismo]

Thank you very much for the free lunch, and for showing me your wondetful collection of CNS (and sana for giving them too lol)... I learned a lot specially simple magic tricks like making some plants disappear.Joke hahahaha It's really great to see you guys. :) #FeelingBlessed #stillhoping #ayawkongmagkolekta #mabilisakongmaadik https://www.instagram.com/p/CFmEmg_Dij7/?igshid=1jhrcdwnxcvzy

[stillhopeful]

Is that the essence of our folly, our fate as humans: to not understand why we do things, or whom we love? Is that why so much of it ends up rubbish—and if it doesn’t, it’s just dumb luck?”

~jane austen society

[stillhopeful]

WALLFLOWER

observe, when everyone else is talking. How their hand moves when they are sure of what they are speaking. See the smile when they see their much-favoured person after a long tiring day. See the twinkle in their eyes when they see a baby. Listen to what they have to say. The world where we live in; everyone has something to say, everyone wants to raise their opinion. but actually, what they want is- validity. Validation for their thoughts. they want to know that their opinions are correct and they are accepted by their peers.

When sitting with the group of friends, notice there is always the one who is smart and always making conversations and always trying to seek validation. They may seem that they know what they are saying but actually they just want acceptance. There is one person who is waiting for his turn to speak. You can see them fidgeting and looking elsewhere, forming the sentences to speak for when his turn arrives. There is another person who knows all this and is here just to see how things will turn out eventually and if it got out of hand, they’ll control it.

But don’t just notice because it is new cool and portray sophistication but the art of a human being is visible when you just sit back and observe. I have done it so many times. They colour they prefers, the way they sit and listen. The restlessness to speak, to hide, to go away from conversation. It’s the silent drama that fills my day. Even the way they speak or talk to other human beside them. And honestly, I don’t know what all of it means but it still fascinates me and everyone who seems perfect on the outside will have a flaw because even if perfection is what we all crave, imperfection is imprinted in our DNA and it is impossible to deny its existence.

Observation, like every other thing is a art. We seldom forget that the random person walking beside us has a life which is as vivid and different and they have their own world in which they live. The word you are looking for is SONDER. It is fascination that I seek and whatever does not interest me, I can’t hold onto it.

I have been observing all this time and when the time comes, ill wield my weapon and use it to tear the hardest shell which was deemed impossible by the validation seeking bastards. So be a wallflower in the world where everyone wants to be sun to the many sunflowers.

[stillhopeful]

Sometimes you just need to stop the inner chaos and find yourself .