(A story written for @cutlerfan for the annual story exchange)
Marcus never felt like he belonged in his body. He always hoped that one day it would grow to match the vision in his head. But, when puberty did little to change him, he gave up hope. He didn't know what he was thinking. It wasn’t like the men of his family were genetically gifted. Now, at 30 years old, he still looked like he was barely gonna turn 21. He wanted to be big, hairy, tall, muscular, masculine. He wanted to be a handsome beefy bear. But, he wasn’t. He was average in every way. Just a shadow on a wall ignored by anyone that he would be interested in.
He sighed, as he parked his car. He didn’t know why he always did this to himself, putting himself in situations that were just gonna make him feel worse. He read the sign: "The Grizzly Den." It was a bar he had pasted a number of times. And, every time he'd see all varieties of bears and cubs. Men with big bellies out on display. Guys with muscular beefy chest. Muscle bear daddies wearing leather. It was his heaven. And, tonight he worked up the courage to go.
Entering the doors of the bar his heart raced. He saw a man straight out of one of his lumberjack fantasies. A few cubs all over him. Another bear of a man walking around shirtless with a proud beer belly. Big strong men with all patterns of hair filled the bar. Men with more fat. Others with more muscle. But, all of them were a form of bear. Men lusting after each other. But, it was the lack of stares towards him that made it clear he didn’t belong. He did even try to push his way deeper into the building. Instead he hid himself at the corner seat of the bar. He watched the bartender work the other side of the table. He was cute. Probably younger than him with a small starter belly. A cub. He felt a bit jealous knowing one day that cub would soon become the type of man he wished he could be.
"First time here?" He heard a booming voice ask to his side. He quickly turned his attention to his side of the bar. He choked on his words as he saw the man talking to him. The man was the perfect image of what Marcus imagined when he thought of the word "bear" ... broad shoulders, a thick beard frosted with silver, arms like tree trunks covered in dark hair. His flannel stretched across a strong belly that presented a sense confidence and the enjoyment of life.
"Is it that obvious?" Marcus managed to finally say with a nervous smile.
"Well, only because I know all my regulars. The name is Nick, by the way." The bartender's eyes crinkled warmly. "So, what can I get you."
"Whatever you recommend." Marcus couldn't think, as his mind raced with a number of thoughts.
"Well, I guess it depends. Why are you here" Nick studied him for a moment but kept his warm inviting smile.
Marcus was thrown by the questions. But, there was something about the bartender. Something that made him feel safe and that one person would listen to him without criticism. "Well, because ... I want to belong here. I want to be like all of them." He looks over at a few guys he noticed walking in. "I feel like I should be like them. Like a mistake happened and I was put into this body instead. And, it is not from the lack of trying. And, in some crazy way I wished coming in here would make me feel like I was one of them. But, now ... I think it's clear I'm not. I just want to look into a mirror and see my outside match what I see when I close my eyes and see the true me." With each word he spoke more of the pain. It felt like he was vomiting all the emotions he's never felt comfortable telling anyone.
Nick reached his rough hand towards Marcus' hand and gave it a squeeze. "It’s okay. Just take a breath. I understand and I know just what you need." Nick reached for a few bottles. One of them glowed with a deep amber. "A special holiday drink. A family recipe. But, the most important ingredient is a wish."
"A wish?" Marcus chuckled, starting to feel a bit ashamed at all the feelings he vomited out.
"I know it's just December 12th but don't tell me you don't believe in Christmas Magic" Nick passed the glass right in front of Marcus.
Marcus wrapped his fingers around it. "Sure, I guess." He felt foolish but played along. He closed his eyes. "I wish I could be more like them. More bearish. More strong. Finally happy with myself." The drink tasted like cinnamon, pine, honey and something familiar he couldn't name. It warmed his body and felt like a hug to his soul.
The two men continued to talk throughout the night. Marcus asks Nick about his life as a daddy bear. Nick asks about Marcus' interest in bears. They talked about life in general. But, the time seemed to go by in a blur. Marcus saw the time and realized he stayed way later than he planned. He thanked Nick and began to leave.
"Happy Holidays, Marcus." Nick called out.
"You too." He replied forgetting that he never actually gave Nick his name.
On the first day of Christmas Marcus woke up starving. His stomach growled with a hunger that he had never experienced. He poured himself a bowl of cereal and the next thing he knew he went through the whole box. He found some cookies and chugged them down with the rest of the milk. He made eggs and pancakes. Throughout the day he kept snacking. For dinner he ate a family sized fried chicken meal. By the end of the day he was so full the food coma kicked in and he fell asleep on the couch.
He woke up on the second day of Christmas just as hungry. But, his kitchen was already empty from yesterday. He remembered his work's breakfast buffet and hurried to get ready. However his stomach was hard and bloated. His fitted work shirt didn't hide it. And, he was barely able to button his slacks. As he drove he couldn’t help but rub his stomach. It felt sore, like it was being stretched. But it felt empty at the same time. The buffet at work held him over. Then lunch was ordered for the office. Some people ate other food instead leaving spare food for Marcus to devour. Dinner was two extra large pizzas and a 2 liter bottle of soda.
Marcus felt like crap on the third day of Christmas. He walked to the restroom. Feeling a mix of stuffed yet hungry. But, that's when he noticed that with every step he felt a jiggle. He rubbed his stomach as he got closer to the restroom to get ready for the day. But instead of a hard bloated stomach, he felt softer squishier fat. He panicked because it didn't make sense. He kept playing with the fat. Poking and lifting his own starter belly hoping it was a hallucination. But, it didn't go away. His alarm went off showing he was already running late for work. He hurried to get dressed. The shirt was more strained than yesterday. The only way he could get the pants to button was to wear them lower than he was used to. Just below the curve of his new belly. The rest of the day passed. He couldn’t stop snacking at work. With the holidays around it seemed like there would be food everyday. Other people made no comments about his weight gain. But, he could feel himself getting fatter. On his way home his pants popped open as he went to sit in his car. His shirt buttons were more strained. But, his stomach cried for more. So he stopped for a couple burgers, shakes, and fries.
On the fourth day of Christmas, Marcus screamed as he woke up. "No! This can't be ... me!" He looked down at his body. He didn't just have a belly ... he had a gut. He had fatty breast. He struggled to get up but eventually was able to waddle to the restroom to look at himself. He was definitely fat. But, not in a way he wanted to be. His short hairless body teased him. "I wanted to be bigger but not like this." He called out sick and went to the doctors. But, his doctor treated him no differently. "Hmm ... seems like you just gained 5 lbs since the last time I saw you. So, there isn't anything to be concerned with." The doctor stated. Defeated, Marcus went back home. The only positive thing was it seemed like his hunger returned to normal.
Marcus made a plan to lose weight on the fifth day of Christmas. He decided to tell his job he couldn’t come back to work until after the holidays. He thought that should be enough time to undo some of the damage the past days brought. He wore the only things that fit him. A grey sweat shirt and matching sweat pants. He ordered a couple new items of clothing before he left to visit a local gym to sign up for the gym. He had never needed to join a gym before. He wasn’t ever fit but his body always stayed a bit thin. So walking in as a fat guy added to the intimidation. He picked up some weight and started doing some exercise. But, every machine he used he was surprised by how much weight he could do. "I guess ... I'm stronger than I thought." He smiled. He went home exhausted and sore, eventually crashing hard to sleep.
On the sixth day of Christmas, Marcus woke up with the pain of the previous day's gym session. He got himself out of bed and walked to the restroom expecting nothing different. But, looking at his reflection he was proven wrong. His fatty chest looked strong. He pressed on it and felt the muscle underneath. Even his arms showed some improvement. He wasn’t just pure fat ... there was already muscle where there wasn't before. Now, he didn’t care if it made sense or not. Feeling the firmness below the squishy fat made him happy. This body still wasn't ideal but it was getting better. He went back to the gym to work out hoping whatever magic this was continued to work.
Marcus woke up groggy on the seventh day of Christmas. His body seemed to sway more. He took a moment to feel right using his legs. He chalked it up to over doing it the past 2 days at the gym. But, the more he woke up the more he realized everything seemed off. His belly wasn't jiggling as much. And, everything seemed to have slightly shrunk. Again it didn't make sense until he saw his reflection. He grew. He was taller. No longer was he 5'7" he was easily over his old height standing at 6'4". The fat on his body seemed to shift and stretch. He wasn’t pure fat anymore. Now he was beefy. His chest more defined sat on a smaller but hard belly. His arms looked more powerful. He felt his cock get hard as he explored his new body. But, he still felt incomplete. He still hated his baby face. He still felt off. The day would pass and end. But, now Marcus was excited. He couldn’t wait to see the changes that he hoped tomorrow would bring.
And, the eighth day of Christmas did bring more changes. Marcus woke up uncomfortable. His body itched beyond belief. He feared he had a rash. But, as he lifted his blanket he saw his body full of tiny dark spots. Hair follicles that appear overnight. He ran to the restroom to get a better look. His thicker thighs and juicy ass thudding with power. The reflection was memorizing as he studied his body. The stubble that covered his body gave way to his own hair pattern that would develop throughout his body. He looked at his face and paid attention to the outline shape a beard would take. He ran fingers down his body feeling the stubble fantasizing how the pattern would fill in as it grew out. He was a bear ... or he would be one and soon. And, at that thought his mind jumped to Nick, the bar, and the drink. "Christmas Magic." He chuckled. He realized it was real. That night ... the drink. His wish was coming true. All these transformations were leading to ... the way he always envisioned himself. He needed to go find Nick and thank him. But, he smiled with an idea. He would wait until he was fully transformed and surprised Nick with his new look. Maybe even ask him to have some fun with his new body.
Marcus woke up with quick excitement on the 9th day of Christmas. He ripped the blankets off him. Partly to see the any new changes and partly because he felt hot and sweaty. And, he learned why. His body was covered in a forest of hair. He brought his hand to his face and felt a full beard. His arms looked stronger and manlier with the new amount of hair that filled them. A new musk hit his nose ... the sweat from overheating at night stuck to the hair of his body. It wasn’t unpleasant but it gave him a reason to take a shower and explore his body. He felt the water get trapped in his hairy body. He moaned as he felt his muscular chest. He got harder as he scrubbed his strong arms. Feeling the biceps swell with each movement. He loved the way his gut felt. Letting the warm soapy water run down his hairy juicy ass, thick thighs, and powerful legs. He grabbed his cock and began to jack off. A bit disappointed by how his size now seemed to small for his body at 5 inches. But, he didn't let that stop him from enjoying the moment. Stepping out of the shower though ... he realized something that still made him frustrated. His face. Even with the beard it was soft and boyish. It looked like his head was just plopped onto a bear's body. He let the day pass trying to forget that. Trying to just enjoy his new body.
Marcus' morning wood was intense on the 10th day of Christmas. The tent his cock was making was bigger than it ever had been. He reached his hand under the blanket already expecting what had happened. His cock was thicker and longer at 8 inches. He lowered the blanket to reveal a cock that actually loomed like it belonged on his body. He couldn’t even make it to the bathroom mirror with how horny he felt. He stayed in bed jacking off. His arms flexing with each pump. His chest was bouncing with muscle. His firm belly shaking. He stayed in bed for hours having fun with himself. Eventually going to take a shower and exploring his body even more.
The eleventh day was Christmas Eve. Marcus woke up and started his day. He looked at his body and nothing seemed different. His body was still bearish. But, his face showed a softness he didn't like. He wondered if this was it. Would he just have to wait to get older for his face to match his body. He walked downstairs to get something to eat. But, his table was filled with packages. Confused, he went to open them. They were full of clothes. Flannel shirts, a collection of pants, leather vest and straps, and everything he wished he could pull off just days ago. Clothes he thought would have looked silly on his original body. He spent the day trying everything on. Seeing what looked good together. In the mess he found a card. "I know it's a little early. But, I think you'll need a good outfit for tomorrow night." Signed Nick. Marcus smiled. The older man knew exactly what was going to happen to him that night. And, now tomorrow he will see him again. And, they'll talk and if he was lucky maybe even more. He spent the day getting ready for tomorrow. Learning to style his hair for his new body. Trimming his beard to look fresh. Deciding on his outfit.
Marcus' woke up on the 12th day of Christmas wishing it was already night so he could meet Nick at the bar. He got up to start the day. He jumped at his reflection. His face was different. It was aged. His body was tanned with age. And grey hair was sprinkled onto his body. He felt confused and unsure. "I'm older ..." he thought out loud. He worried what this might mean. Did he lose years of his life? But the more he stared. The more he felt right at home. The reflection finally matched the vision in his head. If age was a price he had to pay to finally be happy, he was happy to pay it.
As the sun began to set, Marcus took in his body as he began to get dressed. He put on a tight 2xl white shirt that highlighted his gut and strong chest. Followed by a better fitting 3xl red checkered flannel in case he got self conscious and wanted to button up. His pants showed off his thighs and ass. And, his bigger cock made a noticeable bulge. Finally with a breath to calm his nerves he slid on his size 13 shoes.
He drove to the only place we wanted to be. "The Grizzly Den." The bar was packed, but Marcus moved through the crowd like he'd always belonged. Men's eyes followed him, taking in his size, his presence, noticing the way his belly pushed against his shirt, the thickness of his arms through his rolled up sleeves, the beard that made him look mature and powerful. Several smiled. Some reached out to touch his arm as he passed, fingers brushing over the flannel covered mass of muscle and fat beneath. Marcus approached the bar, searching for Nick's familiar face. Instead, he only saw the same cub he noticed his first time here.
"What can I get you, daddy?" The young bear said with a flirtatious smile.
"Actually, I'm looking for Nick. The bartender who was working here a couple weeks ago? Silver beard, big guy?" Marcus blushed, not used to the straight forward interest the cub was showing in him.
The bartender's smile turned puzzled. "Nick? I'm sorry, man, but I've been the only bartender here for the past six months. Owner is cheap and doesn't like hiring extra help even during the holidays "
Marcus felt his stomach drop. "No, that's not possible. I was here on December 12th. There was definitely a bartender named Nick. Older guy, made me this special drink"
"I was definitely the only one here." The bartender shook his head. "And I'm certain there's never been anyone named Nick on staff. Not since I started here, anyways."
Marcus opened his mouth to argue, then closed it. The bartender's expression was genuinely confused, not defensive or secretive. He really didn't know what Marcus was talking about. "That's... weird," Marcus said slowly. Wondering what was going on.
The bartender shrugged sympathetically. "Maybe you're thinking of a different bar?" His eyes traveled over Marcus's substantial frame with some lust. "But, like I said ... I'm willing to give you whatever you need."
Before Marcus could respond, he felt a hand on his lower back. He turned to find a man standing close enough that Marcus could smell his woodsy masculine scent.
The man was exactly Marcus' height, built like a tank with a chest that strained against a tight white muscle shirt. He was a muscle bear. His arms were massive, and covered in tattoos. A scruffy beard framed a handsome face. Dark brown hair that took in the color of the Christmas light above. But it was his warm brown eyes that caught Marcus' attention, crinkled at the corners with a smile. The man looked a few years younger than his own new age.
"Hey," the man said with a deep and smooth voice. "I'm Derek. And I've been watching you since you walked in."
Marcus felt heat flood his face. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Derek's hand was still on his back. His thumb rubbed small circles that sent electricity through Marcus's spine. "You're new to the scene, aren't you? I can always tell. There's this... I don't know, this energy. Like you're still figuring out how good you look."
"I'm..." Marcus blushed. "I guess you can say that." He was here. He fit in. He was being hit on. But, still he felt like an actor playing a role. "I guess I'm still just getting used to this body.
"Let me guess. Ex jock? Pretty boy in your 2Os? Was off the dating scene for a decade? And now you're jumping back in. But, now with this body that aged into a fine ass man. It's okay to show off more." He opened up Marcus' flannel a bit more. "You aren't a young boy anymore. It's expected to have some meat on your body. Besides you wear it well." Derek's eyes traveled appreciatively over Marcus's body, lingering on his belly, his chest, and his strong shoulders. "Really well, actually. Can I buy you a drink?"
Marcus wanted to correct Derek's assumptions. But, Derek's words still held some truth. He had always wanted this body. But, now with all the attention, he did feel a little self conscious. Besides, the truth would be even more crazy. He paused at the offer. He thought about Nick, about the impossible bartender who apparently didn't exist. But, he looked at Derek. Solid, real and looking at him like he was the only person in the bar worth seeing. "Yeah," Marcus said. "I'd like that."
They found a corner booth, Derek's thick thigh pressing against Marcus's under the table. The two talked for hours, about everything and nothing. Derek was a contractor, built houses with his hands, loved hiking, cooking, and old movies. He was thirty 38 compared to Marcus' 44. Derek been out since college, and had the kind of confidence that came from knowing exactly who he was. Which added to Marcus' feeling odd being the older man of the two of them.
Marcus started sharing his life. Unsure how to say it without making it sound like he was a decade younger just a little more than a week ago. But, before he could speak, memories flooded his mind. Memories of a life different from his own. He was a jock in high-school and college. He married a woman in his late 20's. And, just accepted he was gay a few years ago. Told his wife last year and they divorced so he could live his truth. And, he remembered feeling a little scared to jump into dating again.
"I've never seen someone so comfortable in their own skin," Marcus admitted, three drinks in and feeling warm.
Derek laughed rich and genuine. "It took me years to get here, trust me. You're starting later, sure. But, there is really no need to worry. You fit in perfectly just by being yourself."
A drunken cub walks by. "Oh fuck me daddy, I love your big belly." He grabs Marcus' belly and giggles as he stumbles away. Marcus ran his hand over his belly now blushing with embarrassment. He began to suck in his gut a little.
Derek caught his wrist. "Don't," Derek said firmly. "Don't hide yourself. You're gorgeous. Every inch of you. It was a bit much but he was giving you a compliment. I like your belly too" He got up to sit next to him. His strong hands rubbing Marcus' belly.
Marcus relaxed, closing his eyes and letting his belly take up space again. They continued talking, as more thirsty cubs floated to and from their table. A few stopped by, complimenting Marcus's beard, his size, asking if they could buy him drinks. Marcus became more confident with each thirsty comment. Giving his own flirty comebacks. Though he knew Derek was the only guy here he actually wanted. After the 10th time it became a bit annoying, as their conversation was being interrupted.
Derek picked up on it. So, he slid his arm around Marcus' shoulders, possessive and proud, and the cubs would smile knowingly and drift away.
"Popular tonight," Derek murmured in his ear with amusement.
"It's weird," Marcus admitted. "Two weeks ago, nobody looked at me twice."
"Their loss." Derek's hand splayed across Marcus's belly through his flannel, and Marcus felt his breath catch. "My gain, though." Derek said, turning Marcus' face in for a kiss.
When the bar started closing down, Derek walked Marcus to his car. The snow was falling thick and soft, dusting Derek's hair. "I know you are new to this. But, I do really like you. I'd understand if you said no. But, do you want to come to my place tonight. " Derek said, standing close enough that Marcus could feel his warmth. "If you're interested."
Marcus felt himself get hard. The man of his dreams ... the moment of his dreams playing in real time. "Very interested," Marcus managed.
Derek smiled and pulled him into a kiss that tasted like whiskey and promise. When they broke apart, Derek pressed his forehead against Marcus' "Merry Christmas, handsome."
"Merry Christmas." Marcus gulped in the memory of the kiss.
"Give me your number. I'll text you the address. But, also just follow my car." He looks into Marcus eyes and smiles before walking away.
Marcus drove in a daze, Derek's number in his phone and the taste of him still on his lips. He arrived at Derek's home. Following him to his door. Derek walks in and before he can follow he hears the sound of bells. And, in the distance a hearty familiar voice. "Ho, Ho, ho!"
"Nick!" He looked up to the sky in that moment realizing everything and connecting the pieces. He couldn't spot anything in the sky. But, he smiled and walked through Derek's door ready for the things to come. Ready for his time with Derek. Whether it's just for tonight but but hoping for more.
