#stone positivity

[sapphicmistlefoe]

[stonebutchstories]

It’s lesbian day of visibility, so I need you to look. I need you to look my stoneness in the eyes and love it. Not me. My stoneness. Don’t love me in spite of it. In spite of what I won’t give you. In spite of my limits. In spite of what some see as brokenness. Understand that it is not something to be forgiven. I don’t need forgiveness or mercy or pity or begrudging tolerance or your martyred resignation to a relationship half fulfilled. You’re not a hero for loving someone like me, and if you feel that way you never really did. I need you to look my stoneness square down the barrel and love it, knowing what it means. Not just what you want it to mean. Not how agressive and dominant you fantasize I am, or how damaged and tragic you speculate I might be. I won’t beg or say please- I’ll just give it to you plain. You have to see it, to love it, understand and joyfully accept it, because it is me. Not a part of me- it’s me. I am my stoneness and we cannot do this separately or in spite or ignorance of that reality. So on this day of lesbian visibility- I need you to see me. And then, my love, we can begin.

[movedto-breederbutch]

to stone femmes who are trans women, transfem, and/or tma: you are generous. you are worthy. you are perfect. if you don't have dysphoria around your natal genitalia being touched, you are still a perfect femme lesbian, a wonderful lover, and you will find someone who wants nothing more than to touch you there and everywhere else. if you do, you are still stone even if you don't want to be touched there and the right lover won't notice, or might even prefer it. if you don't want to have sex until after bottom surgery, you are still worthy of that wait and you will find someone who respects that and wants to be there no matter what. if you never want surgery or hormones, you're still feminine and beautiful and lovable. if you hate penetration whether pre/non-op or post-op, you are still a stone femme and still sexy, and you don't need to change. if you don't take off all your clothes during sex, you will still be stone and will never be unlovable— in fact, you will be hot and awe-inspiring. comptop and predatory people may tell you you need to "melt" your stone, but your love is mindblowing as is— it's just a matter of finding your wonderful someone who will appreciate it. and you will. you do not need to settle for pain. you will find someone who matches your desires so perfectly that sex becomes effortless pleasure, that it will feel like you've always known each other. and as a stone butch, you should know that, regardless of if you've found them yet, you make the world a better place to be in.

[gallant-kn1ght]

Do you think you’ll ever not be stone?

Truthfully no. Hypothetically though, it’s possible. And that’s on trauma 🤷‍♂️

[stonefemmepositivity]

whether your stone identity stems from trauma or not, your comfort + discomfort around sex and how you want to have it is valid. having those boundaries around receiving or giving sexual touch is absolutely totally 100% ok & there are ppl in the world who will love you in your wholeness

[stonefemmepositivity]

it’s okay for your identity to shift & for labels that originally gave you freedom to feel itchy + like they dont fit anymore. 

being stone isn't about conforming to a specific list of requirements because you want to fit in - the label is supposed to be freeing to you & your sense of self/the dynamics you want to inhabit, i.e. you would be or want to be stone whether or not you call yourself stone. 

[gallant-kn1ght]

she says she does it to help me get over being stone because it isn’t a healthy coping mechanism to sexual trauma, and she just wants to enjoy sex with me like a real couple so she touches me

Yeah, your girl needs to do some more self-reflecting. Imagine telling someone who has undergone sexual abuse that not wanting to be touched isn’t a healthy response.. like?? Some people don’t like to be touched in general and they haven’t undergone any trauma. It’s all about boundaries and being respectful of them. Your girlfriend is being selfish by making her pleasure more important than your boundaries, which is not okay. I’ve had issues with girls in the past who knew that I was stone, but overstepped my boundaries anyway. I didn’t hesitate to leave. A persons comfortability always comes before pleasure or enjoyment.

[gallant-kn1ght]

thank you it did help a lot. i appreciate your answer!!

Anytime, love ❤️