How Anansi Became a Spider (a.k.a. Don't Scam the Witch, Bro)
Once upon a slightly suspicious Tuesday, Anansi was not a spider. Nope. He was a man. Two-legged, sweaty, hardworking. The kind of man who climbed mango trees like they owed him rent and sold the fruit to an old lady with more wrinkles than patience.
But alas, as with most origin stories, things took a turn. Anansi woke up one day and decided, “You know what? Being honest is exhausting.” So instead of mangoes, he filled his bag with rocks—you know, the famously juicy, tropical delicacy known as granite—and handed it to the old lady like she was just dying for some mineral crunch.
Spoiler: She wasn’t.
Turns out, the old lady was a witch (because of course she was), and she did not appreciate being duped by a mango con man. With the flair of someone who has definitely cursed before breakfast, she hissed, “You’re no better than the spiders crawling in the jungle!”
And poof, just like that, legs multiplied, hands disappeared, and Anansi found himself mid-air with a spider’s body and a rapidly declining sense of dignity.
But here’s the thing: did that stop him? Oh no. It liberated him. Eight legs meant more reach. More scheming. Less manual labor. Why break your back when you can convince a goat to do it for you?