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Sex is BORING. Genitalia is GROSS. PIERCE MY SKIN with your TEETH and CONSUME ME UNTIL I AM NOTHING.
Need to hurt myself around a repressed sadist who is trying so, so hard to act repulsed. To watch the way their eyes lock onto each cut. They cant tear themselves away no matter how hard they try. The ‘oh fuck’s and whimpers when they watch the blood drip down my thighs and onto their waist when i’m on top.
They’re shaking and trying so, so hard to be ‘good’, to not want more, but they suck the blood off my fingers like they’re starving and look at me like i’m their god.
Someone grabbing you off the side of the road on your walk home one night, beating the shit out of you and absolutely destroying your body. Beating you to the brink of death and dumping you in some ditch in the middle of fuck-all-nowhere. They tell a bunch of people and now your barely living body is a secret punching bag/cum dump for passerbys to use however they want. Coming in and out of consciousness to the view of strangers fucking you, pissing on you, cutting you up however their hearts desire. Constantly kept too weak to leave but just strong enough to technically be alive. Eventually you’re just a corpse. Cold and covered in mud, still attracting the occasional visitor.
You’re going to starve in here. Locked away, listen to the world move on without you. Cry, whine, bark, scream until you have no voice. The people you love are just outside the door. Cooking, laughing, singing, enjoying their freedom without you. They will not open the door. They may not even remember that you are there. So you will press your body tight against the door and fall in love with your new life in the tower. In love with the door until you starve and melt into it.
Getting better may be a necessity but it doesnt have the same allure as self destruction. I want to be disgusting and miserable. I want someone to take their time making me worse. Pushing me to cvt deeper, hit harder, isolate further, st4rve longer. Surely as a little treat you can come ruin me?
Lets not pretend you’re all good. I’m a sick fuck hell bent on self destruction and you’re a bad person for feeding into it. So hurry up and be a bad person.
I could lay on the floor of my shower, already bleeding out. Cuts over every inch of my body. They’re so close together that you cant see the decade of scars underneath them. Limp in an uncomfortable position, eyes glazed over as the blood drips out of me and coagulates into a disgusting mass under my thighs.
You walk in and stare at me. My heart picks up a bit but I do nothing. Limbs too heavy, vision blurry. I expect the panicked shouts, to be carried to the car and driven to the hospital, to be lectured and pleaded with in the hopes I will get better for you. Instead I hear the sound of you unfastening your belt and unzipping your pants. I watch you jerk off over me until you cum on my face.
On your way out maybe you try a bite of the thick mass of blood around my ass. I’m left to die or piece myself back together.
