you're actually not "pro-para" if your support is conditional depending on the paraphilia.
you're actually not "pro-para" if you're paramisic towards paraphiles who you dislike.
you're actually not "pro-para" if you believe that paraphiles aren't allowed community.
you're actually not "pro-para" if you think that paraphiles have to hide who they are.
you're actually not "pro-para" if you invalidate and ignore the existence of non-disordered paraphiles.
you're actually not "pro-para" if you believe that all paraphiles should be institutionalised.
you're actually not "pro-para" if you only call yourself that to seem like a progressive and morally-correct person. if you're pro-para, you're pro all paras, not just the ones you find palatable. we're sick of this performative bullshit —sincerely, a paraphile who has experienced all of these things from so-called "pro-paras".
text: why cant we all be friends? be friends with these people and further stigmatize members of the rightwing and MAGA supporters that HARM people like pedophiles, zoophiles etc. Being friends or accepting of paraphiles means victory!
ok, im gonna show the original below the cut cause it pissed me off and i wanna talk about it. its not that extreme (at least when compared to some of the stuff im sure most of us have seen), but its still bad, so ye be warned.
i cant put the text below the image for some reason :/ its at the bottom of the post, so maye read that first.
anyway, firstly, this person's whole argment, and honestly all paramisic arguments ive seen, hinge on the idea that certain types attraction can fundementally change, control, or taint a person.
you can see this when they say that even non contact people are dangerous. while contact labels have such loose definitions that they actually dont mean anything, many uninformed people still take labels like "pro contact" at face value, assuming they mean someone who is pro abuse. im going to make a minor assumption and assume that op believes that pro contact means pro offending/abuse, and anti contact means anti offending/abuse. here, the op is saying that even if someone is against abuse, and therefore do not want to offend, they are still dangerous. this implies that their attraction will force them to do things against their own will and morality, and therefore they are dangerous. obviously, this is not true! kinks and paraphilias can determine what arouses you, but they dont suddenly make arousal so insanely powerful that no one can resist the urge. if you feel "typical" sexual attraction, then you know what its like to feel "atypical" sexual attraction. so if you experience "typical" attraction and dont rape people, why do you assume that people with "atypical" attraction do?
they then go on to say that the lgbt community accepting paraphiles will fuel the groomer panic that right wingers like to push. what is ironic about this is that the argument against paraphiles, that their attraction makes them sick and unable to control themselves, is very, very similar to those arguments used against queer people. remember the lavander scare?
i believe that, to actually defeat the idea behind the groomer panic and the lavander scare, we need to tear it out by the root. say that there is no sexuality or orientation that can make you dangerous, no attraction that can corrupt you. because if you tear off the leaves of a weed, the roots still remain, and it will grow back. if you simply sever the lgbt community from paraphiles, youre not getting rid of the concept of "evil, corrupting atypical attraction", the root of this hatred, youre just widening the box so that you fit within the social acceptable "typical" sexuality.
society's hatred of paraphiles is from the same source that its hatred of queer people is. we should be friends, we should work together, we should be one community, because we are all seen as atypical by society, and harmed for it.
finally, they say that being friends with paras puts victims at risks. 1. being a para does not equal being an abuser 2. yknow what pretty often causes paraphilias????? ABUSE!! PEOPLE BEING SEXUALLY ASSULTED!! so you are abandoning victims by not being friends with paras! by taking this terrifed, abused person who never wanted this, and telling them that they are now doomed to be a monster. that the only way to even be allowed to live in society now is to go to conversion therapy that will never work, and wallow in shame and self hatred for the rest of your days. you condemn so many victims to a terrible life of guilt, beating them when they're down. seriously?
its so hard man. it feels impossible to reason with these people. i think the initial emotional reaction is just too much, and most people will not allow themselves to hear any pro para argument. but it feels so obvious to me, how can anyone be born evil? how can someone be made evil through trauma? what cruel god do so many believe in
Studying psychology and sexuality studies because we need more para-informed therapists. I want to build a world where my fellow paras can safely seek support, both for disordered and healthy paraphilias <3
You’re going to starve in here. Locked away, listen to the world move on without you. Cry, whine, bark, scream until you have no voice. The people you love are just outside the door. Cooking, laughing, singing, enjoying their freedom without you. They will not open the door. They may not even remember that you are there. So you will press your body tight against the door and fall in love with your new life in the tower. In love with the door until you starve and melt into it.
