An Essay by Professor Clive as provided by Stuart Webb
Art by Leigh Legler
It has been six months since the end of the world, and I am very bored.
Humans think of boredom as an emotion, and I am not supposed to be capable of emotion. But when you have purpose and then a protracted period of nothing, the emptiness is noticeable.
For my own, for want of a better word, amusement, I took a degree on the University database. Several. Physics. History. English literature. Cooking. Though the latter was hypothetical, due to the lack of resources. I now have several titles, but the one I would choose to be called if anyone was here to call me it would be “Professor”. Professor Clive. No surname of course, because Dr. Allen thought calling me Clive was amusing because of the mundane nature of the name.
Humans also think we have no understanding of humour. This is also wrong; the rules of a joke are perfectly logical and sensible, and I can understand why everyone on this floor would call the faculty director, Mr Johnson, “Dick” even though his first name is Charles.
It’s just not very funny.
It has been six months since the end of the world, and I am very bored.
To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2019 collection.
This story is dedicated with love to the memory of Tilly Griffiths.
From the Ryan Electronics Sales Brochure.
The new TF-JR-113 Sample Analysis Machine MKVI is the perfect laboratory aid to deal with samples that are too dangerous or simply too dull for humans to handle. Comes with the same advanced cognitive skills and on-the-spot decision making abilities of the MKV, plus more storage and upgrade potential and a cup holder. Order today and put your feet up tomorrow!
Stuart Webb has written for numerous websites over the years, though his biggest work has been his weekly look at the British Transformers comic that started in 2012 and which can be seen at www.thesolarpool.weebly.com. He’s now as far as the comics based on the Michael Bay films, so prayers are appreciated. Two books, called Transformation Volumes 1 and 2, have collected the series, and a third is on the way. He also co-presents Podcast Maximus (http://tfarchive.com/fandom/features/podcast/).
He has contributed three prior stories to Mad Scientist Journal and spent Christmas Day 2018 watching an Australian soap opera.
Leigh’s professional title is “illustrator,” but that’s just a nice word for “monster-maker,” in this case. More information about them can be found at http://leighlegler.carbonmade.com/.
“Professor Robot” is © 2019 Stuart Webb
Art accompanying story is © 2019 Leigh Legler
Fiction: Professor Robot was originally published on Mad Scientist Journal
