Feb 18, 2022
It’s not him.
It’s not about him.
In truth
He has only revealed the parts of me
Which hide and pretend they don’t exist
Until something happens
And they make their grand appearance
And fumble my faith
And discard my confidence
And shake my security
And leave me flat
Alone
Afraid.
Afraid of accidentally isolation
Of never being loved
Of never being enough.
It’s not about him
Just the opportunities he represents.
And I’m left with the worst realized
And I fight to not believe the harshest truths
That I deserve to be alone
Because I am not good enough
Not kind enough
Not social enough
Not small enough.
I fight in stubborn refusal,
But I grow weary.